


THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMMITMENT AND COMMITTED

by CrimsonEmbrace



Series: DIFFERENCE [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Bondage, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-29
Updated: 2008-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 07:49:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonEmbrace/pseuds/CrimsonEmbrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is insanity</p>
            </blockquote>





	THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMMITMENT AND COMMITTED

**Author's Note:**

> more 2008 work...

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMMITMENT AND COMMITTED

 

CHAPTER 1: KAKASHI

Things weren’t going well, Iruka was withdrawn rarely leaving his apartment except to work… and Ibiki, well, he was scary even for Ibiki. He was increasingly sadistic… his latest entertainment was flaying. Often his ‘guests’ were at best badly damaged when he was through with them… and at worst in pieces… often the later.

The chamber was filled with new horrible ‘toys’ and Kakashi sometimes wondered where Ibiki came up with these things… the ANBU were keeping their heads down hoping Ibiki’s foul mood would improve… one of the ANBU even mentioned they needed to find him a new ‘playmate’, there were no volunteers and the subject was dropped.

Kakashi had been distantly watching them both since Ibiki ended the twisted little game he had been playing… only now Kakashi was worried, he wasn’t so sure it had been a game any more… oh, he knew it had started out that way but things had taken a odd turn at some point.

The only bright spot was Iruka’s friendship with Asuma, he was the only person Iruka would talk to… and even then he had little to say.

Kakashi shrugged, things couldn’t get any worse… could they? Hell, even Kakashi himself wasn’t stupid enough to try to interfere… with the mood Ibiki was in approaching him was as good as guaranteeing a bloody fight, one that one of them wouldn’t survive. 

Iruka… well, he was a different story… it wasn’t that Kakashi couldn’t interfere, it was that he wouldn’t. The way he saw it he’d already stuck his foot into this pit twice and he wasn’t about to jump in again.

So here he was at the bar again, the same old problem being tossed around like a paper bomb no one wanted to be stuck holding.

“So what are we going to do? Iruka can’t just go on mourning!” Anko tossed out there again, it had been this way for the past week and a half. Someone always started it… and in the end no one ever had a solution.

“I can’t see why he’s mourning THAT! Hell, Ibiki was beating him!” Genma growled.

Anko frowned, “He wasn’t beating him…”

“What would YOU call whipping someone your dating?!” Genma sputtered indignantly.

Anko laughed, “Kinky!” Then she sobered, “Yeah, well it wasn’t our choice…” 

Anko looked at the guys gathered around the table expectantly. Kakashi surveyed them lazily, it was the usual crew… Genma - the loudmouth, Raidou - the quiet one, Anko – everyone’s favorite lay and Asuma - the voice of reason… who was strangely quiet.

“So how are we going to get him out of it… you know get the old Iruka back?” Anko challenged. 

“Hey Kakashi.” Raidou said turning slightly to glance at Kakashi’s lounging form.

“Hmmm…” Kakashi refilled his cup and returned the bottle to the table.

“You and he had a ‘thing’…” Raidou began only to be cut short by Anko’s rude snort.

“Kakashi’s had a ‘thing’ with everybody!” Anko mocked casting a wicked glance at the lazy nin.

Kakashi pinned her with a challenging look and quirk of his eyebrow… Pot calling the kettle…

“Well you have!” Anko retorted.

Kakashi shrugged and returned to sipping his sake, but Raidou wasn’t finished. “What I meant was…” Raidou shook his head. “Never mind.”

Anko jumping into the unspoken thought with both feet, “Come on lover boy, show him how good wild kinky sex is supposed to be!”

Raidou frowned, “That’s not what I meant.” Raidou looked over at Genma curiously. Genma had fallen strangely quiet during this conversation, a behavior that was totally unlike him. Asuma also watched him silently, sipping slowly at his sake.

Kakashi was busy trying to pretend he hadn’t heard Anko. “I know what you meant Raidou… it just wouldn’t be a good idea.” His voice was a calm easy drawl. 

Inside Kakashi was scoffing, ‘I am NOT getting in the middle of this!’, but Kakashi realized like it or not he was involved… teach him to keep his nose out of peoples… what was it relationship? Sex life? Who knows what it was with Ibiki… but he should’ve steered clear.

The great Iruku debate continued around Kakashi. Genma had broken his uncharacteristic silence with an idea Iruka should go on a vacation. Genma and Anko had moved on to debating if a vacation would help Iruka and where he should go.

Raidou’s eyes returned to Kakashi, and Kakashi gave a small nod, he’d do it.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

 

The idea was to open Iruka’s eyes to the fact that there were other fish in the sea… just a little light flirtation. Raidou knew that Iruka had an interest in Kakashi and that they’d had fun… heck, all Kakashi’s times were fun. 

Raidou just wanted Kakashi to remind Iruka of that… that it was possible to enjoy non-violent sex like they had… nothing damaged. Kakashi wasn’t pleased with the idea, but saw his point.

Now how to go about it… showing up at Iruka’s was a bad idea, it would make Iruka on edge and imply Kakashi wanted sex. Lunch was too casual… that left ‘accidentally’ meeting him on his way home, somewhere public but relatively empty.

The next few nights Kakashi followed Iruka as he walked home, careful to hide his chakra signature. Iruka stopped at the memorial for a moment every evening; it would work for Kakashi’s purpose.

The next night when Iruka stopped at the memorial, Kakashi was waiting sitting under a tree off to the side where Iruka wouldn’t notice him until he turned to leave. 

Iruka stood and brushed his fingers over the stone tracing his parent’s names. Kakashi knew exactly how he felt, he often did the very same thing, tracing over lost friends and lovers names. 

It hurt and for a moment he didn’t want to face Iruka any more than Iruka would wish to see him… Kakashi was a reminder of the end of his relationship with Ibiki.

Still, he had to try… Iruka couldn’t go on like this; he was too kind to live the shallow cold existence that Kakashi and Ibiki shared… 

Iruka turned to leave and Kakashi drifted out of the shadow of the tree; trying to remain non-threatening he smiled. “Hello, I see I’m not the only one who comes here to feel close to my special people I’ve lost.”

Iruka’s eyes teared, “Sometimes… it hurts more to live.”

Kakashi nodded sadly. “Yes, but I’ve been told by many that those we lost would want us to be happy…”

“Happy…” Iruka’s voice was a whisper and he turned away to hide his pain.

Kakashi walked up behind him and placed his hands gently on Iruka’s shoulders. “Yes. Happy… with friends and good times…”

“How could I be happy when my heart is so torn it hurts…” Iruka said his shoulders sagging.

Kakashi put his arms gently around Iruka, and Kakashi sighed sadly, “Pain is a part of life…”

Iruka leaned back in Kakashi’s arms, then stiffened and moved away, Kakashi’s arms gently falling away.

“I have to go...” Iruka said nervously looking at the ground. Kakashi stepped closer, looking down at Iruka’s down cast face. 

Kakashi reached out and ran his fingers though Iruka’s silken hair combing it tenderly away from his face and feeling the slide of Iruka’s fine soft strands feather through his fingers. 

Iruka flinched and Kakashi stilled, tilting Iruka’s chin up with a gentle finger and looking in his eyes in concern. Iruka took a shaky breath, and looked down again. “I’m sorry.”

Kakashi tilted Iruka’s head back up, “Don’t… shhhh.” His seductive voice soothed. Kakashi’s eye sparkled flirtatiously, his face crinkling as his lips slowly curved in a playful smile. “I’ve never had someone recoil from my touch before.”

“I… it wasn’t you, it wasn’t because I didn’t like your touch.” Iruka said trying to look away, but not wanting to pull away from Kakashi again.

“Oh, good. I thought I’d become repulsive.” Kakashi teased gently, as he carefully analyzed Iruka, judging how best to coax him into the realization that his life could and would continue without Ibiki.

“Nnno… not repulsive.” Iruka’s big doe eyes looked up at him timidly. 

“Hmm… I’m not sure I believe you.” Kakashi replied in a mischievous tone.

Iruka looked seriously at his face. “Really… I don’t think you could ever be repulsive…” 

Kakashi slipped down his mask, and brushed his lips softly over Iruka’s, “Good.” He murmured sensually. Then slowly stepped back and slid his mask over his face once more. “I really enjoyed seeing you again…” Kakashi said softly. “I hope I can see you again at the bar… I miss your saucy insults.” Kakashi’s face crinkled in another playful grin.

“Um, yeah… maybe soon.” Iruka replied distracted. “I’ve got to go.”

“Yes, me too.” Kakashi answered in a kind, friendly tone and he turned to go. “Have a good night.”

Kakashi could feel Iruka watch him as he walked away, it was important that Kakashi leave first, to separate it from fleeing in Iruka’s mind… this way it had been a nice, non-threatening reminder of how pleasant ‘interacting’ with others was.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

Every day was the same, he’d wake and go through the steps: food, job, home, food, bed… empty, meaningless… hopeless. Nothing could bring him joy; all he had left was pain and sorrow… so it was better to feel nothing.

Every day he would go to the memorial on the way home, to touch the names of the only two people who ever truly loved him, a promise that one day he’d be with them again. 

This day was like the others, rain, sun it didn’t matter. Iruka brushed the memorial stone just as he’d done everyday since… since he had his eyes opened, his belief in love shattered.

Iruka turned to leave and saw Kakashi walking out from under a tree, Kakashi’s eye crinkled as he smiled. “Hello, I see I’m not the only one who comes here to feel close to my special people I’ve lost.”

Iruka would have to walk by him when he left and although he didn’t want to talk, he just couldn’t be rude… Kakashi came here too, he’d lost people precious to him… although one of Iruka’s precious people wasn’t dead he mourned him too. Iruka could feel the tears cloud his sight and tried to blink them away. “Sometimes… it hurts more to live.”

Kakashi nodded, he looked sad and Iruka realized that must be even truer when you lost a loved one on a mission and you survived. “Yes, but I’ve been told by many that those we lost would want us to be happy…”

That was a sweet thought but… Iruka feel his heart clench, “Happy…”, it wasn’t that easy when the one you lost was still near by. Iruka turned away from Kakashi, ashamed of his weakness.

Iruka felt kind hands on his shoulders. “Yes. Happy… with friends and good times…” Kakashi’s warm, comforting voice said from behind him. 

Iruka slumped defeated, unable to hold back his pain. “How could I be happy when my heart is so torn it hurts…” he said without hope.

Kakashi hugged him gently and sighed, his voice was laced with sorrow, “Pain is a part of life…” Iruka found himself relaxing into the comfort and understanding, leaning back into Kakashi’s chest. 

Iruka tensed, Kakashi’s chest! Iruka moved away and Kakashi’s arms opened without hesitation releasing him. “I have to go...” Iruka looked at the ground confused and uneasy. 

Kakashi stepped close to Iruka reaching out and sliding his fingers softly through Iruka’s hair… in a gesture so like Ibiki that Iruka flinched expecting Kakashi’s fist to clench yanking his hair to pull him close. 

Kakashi’s hand froze at Iruka’s reaction; his hand slid smoothly from Iruka’s hair and tilted Iruka’s face up to look at him. Kakashi’s eye was worried, Iruka trembled and took a shallow breath to try to calm himself and looked at the ground again, this time in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

Kakashi’s finger gently tilted Iruka’s face back up to look at him. “Don’t… shhhh.” Kakashi’s voice was silken, alluring and Kakashi’s skin around his eye wrinkled, his eye danced with humor, “I’ve never had someone recoil from my touch before.”

Iruka’s eyes widened, “I… it wasn’t you, it wasn’t because I didn’t like your touch.” Iruka explained awkwardly. He wanted to pull back from Kakashi’s touch now but he was afraid he’d insult him further.

“Oh, good. I thought I’d become repulsive.” Kakashi taunted playfully.

Iruka’s heart beat hard in his chest as he looked at Kakashi. “Nnno… not repulsive.” Iruka stuttered, meekly.

Kakashi gave him a coy look, stating, “Hmm… I’m not sure I believe you.” in a sassy tone. 

Mesmerized Iruka found himself answering Kakashi truthfully. “Really… I don’t think you could ever be repulsive…” 

Kakashi pulled down his mask and Iruka’s breath caught, Kakashi’s lips grazed tenderly over Iruka’s in a light kiss that tempted Iruka to deepen it and Kakashi’s low erotic voice purred, “Good.”. Then Kakashi stepped back away from Iruka and his hand raised his mask up to cover his face once more. 

“I really enjoyed seeing you again…” Kakashi said warmly. Then Kakashi’s voice teased mildly. “I hope I can see you again at the bar… I miss your saucy insults.” Kakashi’s face crinkled as he grinned again.

Iruka’s lips tingled, and his thoughts were scrambled as he tried to understand his feelings. “Um, yeah… maybe soon… I’ve got to go.”

“Yes, me too.” Kakashi replied casually, then turned and started away with a final genial, “Have a good night.”

Iruka watched him walk away his gaze puzzled, he wasn’t sure how he felt about what just happened… it wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t exactly comfortable with it… Kakashi had just been… friendly, not soliciting any response or expecting anything… and yet Iruka couldn’t deny that Kakashi was so sexy he could make a corpse blush.

Iruka started back to his apartment deep in thought. By the time he’d reached his apartment he had come to a conclusion… he was done feeling sorry for himself. It was time to examine his feelings and options and move on… easier said than done, but he had to try.

Iruka had to admit Kakashi did interest him… but in spite of how much he desired Kakashi… Kakashi wasn’t Ibiki; no one else had ever made him feel the way Ibiki did… 

Iruka knew it was dangerous, but he couldn’t deny it. He loved Ibiki… and even if Ibiki would never be able to love him in return, he wanted to be with Ibiki. 

He just had to face that Ibiki didn’t want him… that no matter how he felt Ibiki wouldn’t see him ever again, wouldn’t ever touch him again… tears sprang to Iruka’s eyes and he angrily wiped them away. 

The time for crying was over… pain or no pain he had to go on… next time Asuma asked, he would go out to the bar with him, talk and laugh… and learn to push the pain aside. Iruka raised his chin stubbornly, it was over. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IBIKI:

The new torture implements were a temporary distraction, he was undeniably frustrated lately, and nothing he could do could bring him satisfaction. His ‘guests’ pained screams while nice didn’t hold the same entertainment that they once had and fucking them took care of his bodily needs but he felt none of the fulfillment… and now this… 

It was bad enough receiving reports on Iruka, but this… Ibiki wished he had someone to flay, this was too much… Kakashi was seen kissing Iruka at the monument. Ibiki was too professional to throw things, but he damn sure wanted to.

This shouldn’t matter, but it did… and Ibiki was pretty damned pissed at that fact. Somehow even ending his… playtime, relationship… whatever the hell it was, with Iruka hadn’t managed to lessen Iruka’s ‘hold’ on his attention. 

Ibiki had even stopped whipping his guests… it was an unpleasant reminder of Iruka’s bloody back. Flaying them worked just as well without the frustration, all he needed was a few nice sharp knives… well the rest was easy. 

There really wasn’t enough ‘guests’, they talked too quickly as soon as he started removing strips of skin… maybe it was time to choose a new ‘playmate’ for a night of fun… but no one held an appeal to him, guess he could finish Genma, that was one dumb nin who could use a little Ibiki-style action… 

No, he was pretty sure that would make his little dolphin come storming in here. Kami, he loved when Iruka’s temper flared, it was too damn cute! Ibiki made an annoyed rumble; he just couldn’t keep his mind off Iruka for longer than a few hours… it was blowing his whole cold, emotionless thing right out of the water.

Of course the savage brutal thing was working out well so… no actually, not too well, half his ANBU were afraid to turn in their reports and the ANBU building had never been so quiet since Ibiki had taken over as head of ANBU… 

No, not so well at all. He was putting unnecessary stress on his ANBU operatives, not good… he could loose some operatives that way… break downs, botched missions. It was time to do something about this ‘mess’ but he was damned if he knew what.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ASUMA:

He wasn’t sure what that had been with Genma, he’d never seen him clam up like that… something odd was going on and, as it always did lately, it involved Iruka.

Asuma shrugged, guess it didn’t really matter too much… Iruka and him had a standing appointment, he WOULD NOT call it a date, to have breakfast… every Tuesday and Saturday Iruka cooked a wonderful breakfast and they sat and talked… about the students, the village, nothing serious.

Asuma couldn’t wait to see what Iruka whipped up today, the breakfasts on Saturday were always the best, Iruka was a truly gifted cook… it’s a wonder he never used that talent outside his home, he would’ve made a great chief.

Asuma quickly trotted up the stairs and knocked, Iruka opened the door and smiled… Asuma was surprised and grinned happily; this was the first time he’d seen Iruka smile in a long time, since before the Ibiki situation.

“Hey Iruka! What ya’ got today?” Asuma teased and was rewarded with another small smile.

Iruka waved him in to the kitchen and closed the front door… and for the first time he didn’t immediately lock it. Keeping the door locked at all times and always having weapons on him were two new habits Iruka had developed after Ibiki dumped him… they were a bit… odd, but Asuma had seen worse habits.

After pouring himself a huge cup of coffee, Asuma sat at the table and Iruka finished bringing over the platters. It looked like a banquet and Asuma briefly wondered what the occasion was… then decided it didn’t matter at this point and dug into the fantastic food.

After several helpings, Asuma got up refilled his coffee and sat back looking at Iruka. When Iruka didn’t think Asuma was looking, Asuma saw the Iruka he’d come to know so well over the past two weeks, miserable and in pain… and, as always, Iruka would look away until he collected himself and blinked away the tears.

“Man Iruka… you are one excellent cook!” Asuma grinned, patting his stomach. “You know you’re going to make me fat!”

Iruka smiled happily, “Thank you.” As was usual, Iruka had only taken a few bites of everything, he was getting a little gaunt.

Asuma noted the smile again, it seemed like Iruka was trying to pull himself out of his depression… he didn’t need his ‘friends’ interference and Asuma was very sure he wouldn’t want it.

“So what you got planned for today?” Asuma asked him that every time he came, then they’d talk about the village. 

Iruka’s smile disappeared and pain flashed in his eyes, then his lips curved slightly as if he was trying to remain smiling. Usually Asuma only got a reply of ‘work’ or ‘clean’ to his query, but this time he was surprised at Iruka’s reply.

“I think I’ll go shopping… you’ve eaten me out of food.” Iruka teased softly. 

Asuma tilted his head and grinned, “Then it’s only fair if I go with you… if you don’t mind. I gave my team the day off…”

Iruka nodded, “I would like that.” Iruka stood and cleared the table, and Asuma went over and drew water in the sink. 

It had became the routine, Iruka cooked and Asuma washed dishes… it gave them time to talk without Iruka having to look at Asuma, or feel like he had to hide his feelings. 

Iruka stood drying the dishes as he washed and Asuma decided to ‘test the waters’ a bit. “So… Genma, Anko, Raidou and I…” Asuma saw Iruka stiffen at Genma’s name; he hadn’t mentioned Kakashi because he hadn’t wanted to put Iruka on edge, looks like Genma was an issue too.

In typical blunt fashion Asuma stated, “Hm, Genma has the same reaction to your name… can you talk about it?” 

Iruka knew if he couldn’t talk about it, it was fine to ignore the question and the Asuma wouldn’t ask again. Asuma wasn’t the type to tip toe around things and if he had to avoid a subject, he simply wanted to know what he was avoiding.

Asuma continued washing the dishes, simply leaving the question and continuing cleaning without expecting a reply.

Iruka shifted uncomfortably and replied, “Yes, I can talk about it…”

Asuma didn’t look at him, just continued washing the dishes, Iruka knew he was listening.

“The night before Ibiki…ended the…” Iruka paused several seconds then continued. “ended our ‘involvement’, Genma had come over to talk to me… About my ‘involvement’ with Ibiki. He tried to kiss me…”

“Hmm.” Asuma understood the problem.

“I was… ‘uncomfortable’ with his attempt…” Iruka’s voice lowered to almost a whisper, “and afraid. I wasn’t sure if he was going to leave, or that I would be able to make him leave.”

Asuma sighed, “I see.” He and Iruka continued washing dishes in silence for a few minutes then Asuma asked, “So what are we going to buy today?”

Iruka was silent a minute more then said, ““Today I’ll only need fresh fruit, vegetables and tofu.” Iruka looked up at Asuma. “I was thinking about making a tuna dish on Tuesday… instead of breakfast how about dinner?”

Asuma smiled, “Tuna… sounds good! If you hadn’t fed me so good just a few moments ago my stomach would be rumbling! Dinner it is!”

Iruka laughed, “Your grocery bill must be huge!”

“Nah… I never eat at home… now I just need to find someone to feed me the rest of the week…” Asuma joked.

Iruka playfully punched him. “Loafer.”

Asuma shrugged and grinned.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

Iruka heard the knock at the door and he felt a wave of fear, just like every time since Genma’s visit. Iruka took a deep breath and relaxed, it was just Asuma. He was expecting Asuma he reminded himself, he always came on Tuesday and Saturday. Iruka unlocked the door; carefully keeping his body angled so it wouldn’t be obvious that his hand was on his kunai and swung it open with a smile. As Iruka recognized Asuma his hand fell away from the weapon. 

Asuma gave Iruka a delighted grin. ““Hey Iruka! What ya’ got today?” It was their running joke and Iruka smiled at the easy familiarity it made him feel. Iruka waved for Asuma to come in and closed the door. 

Iruka hesitated a minute then left the door unlocked; it would be ok as long as Asuma was here. Asuma walked in and grabbed his big mug, pouring half a pot of coffee in his mug and sitting down.

Iruka hurried into the kitchen and finished placing the platters and bowls on the table, he’d made a bit more than usual in his effort to be excited by the prospect of company. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Asuma’s company, he cherished their breakfasts but it was very hard to be happy about anything… he was determined he would be happy, if he tried hard enough he could make himself be happy.

Asuma ate happily and it pleased Iruka to see he enjoyed the food so much; it gave him a sense of accomplishment. He’d never cooked for Ibiki… wonder if he’d have liked it. Iruka’s eyes teared and he looked away until he could get his emotions under control again.

Asuma had gotten up and refilled his cup with the other half of the pot of coffee, which was fine since Iruka didn’t drink it and only made it for him. “Man Iruka… you are one excellent cook!” Asuma smiled happily and patted his stomach. “You know you’re going to make me fat!”

Asuma’s compliments always raised Iruka’s spirits and he smiled at Asuma, thankful for his company, without his visits Iruka would be alone all the time he wasn’t at work… all alone. Iruka felt a stab of sorrow and forced himself to smile at Asuma. “Thank you.”

Like every other time he’d come Asuma asked, “So what you got planned for today?” 

Iruka didn’t think he really expected an answer, it had just become habit… but it always reminded Iruka of how empty his days were without Ibiki. Iruka gave a strained smile and replied lightly, “I think I’ll go shopping… you’ve eaten me out of food.”

Asuma smirked tilting his head wryly. “Then it’s only fair if I go with you… if you don’t mind. I gave my team the day off…”

Iruka felt a wave of relief and nodded, he’d been worried about running into Genma alone. Several times in the past two weeks Iruka had looked up and found Genma watching him. 

“I would like that.” Iruka replied honestly. Then rose and started clearing the table as Asuma ran water to wash the dishes… Asuma had insisted, quite determinedly, that he had to do something and since he ‘didn’t want to give Iruka food poisoning’ by cooking he would help clean up afterwards.

When it became obvious that Asuma liked doing it Iruka had stopped fighting him over it and allowed him to help clean. Iruka found he enjoyed doing the simple tasks with Asuma and could talk without feeling so self-conscious.

“So… Genma, Anko, Raidou and I…” Asuma began, his voice matter of fact. Iruka’s eyes widened and his stomach flopped; suddenly Iruka wished he hadn’t eaten so much. Asuma paused then continued dryly, “Hm, Genma has the same reaction to your name… can you talk about it?” 

Iruka thought about it, he knew Asuma wasn’t requesting anything. Just offering to listen and he wouldn’t mention it again; just simply avoid using Genma’s name, much like he avoided mentioning Kakashi or Ibiki. 

“Yes, I can talk about it…” Iruka answered comforted by the knowledge Asuma wasn’t watching him, giving him his privacy. “The night before Ibiki…ended the…” 

Iruka paused, what was he supposed to call what he’d had with Ibiki? A relationship? No that implied that both people were making a commitment, Ibiki never committed to anything. Involvement, yes that was a good word… serious but not implying that both sides shared the feelings. 

Iruka took a steadying breath and continued, “ended our ‘involvement’, Genma had come over to talk to me… About my ‘involvement’ with Ibiki. He tried to kiss me…”

“Hmm.” Asuma grunted. Asuma had no idea how much Iruka appreciated his silent support, he didn’t pity him, comfort him, or try to give advice… just let Iruka talk and listened without judgment or pressuring him to talk about things he didn’t want to face.

“I was… ‘uncomfortable’ with his attempt…” Iruka wasn’t sure if he could continue, he was ashamed, but knew Asuma would understand and not judge him. Still his voice was soft as he continued. “and afraid. I wasn’t sure if he was going to leave, or that I would be able to make him leave.”

Asuma gave an accepting sigh, “I see.” Iruka and Asuma finished the last of he dishes in companionable silence. Asuma hung up the rag and looked at Iruka “So what are we going to buy today?” he slid easily back into more comfortable conversation.

Iruka silently thanked him again, then put those thoughts and feelings aside and replied, “Today I’ll only need fresh fruit, vegetables and tofu.” Iruka looked curiously up at Asuma. “I was thinking about making a tuna dish on Tuesday… instead of breakfast how about dinner?”

“Tuna… sounds good! If you hadn’t fed me so good just a few moments ago my stomach would be rumbling! Dinner it is!” Asuma exclaimed happily.

Iruka couldn’t help laughing at his child-like zeal. “Your grocery bill must be huge!”

Asuma gave Iruka an obviously false innocent look. “Nah… I never eat at home… now I just need to find someone to feed me the rest of the week…” Asuma teased.

Iruka hit him lightly on the arm and scolded, “Loafer.”

Asuma looked unrepentant as he shrugged and gave Iruka a playful grin.

The shopping trip went off without a hitch and Iruka found he was actually having fun; Asuma was quite a comic always finding something amusing about people or things that were happening around them. 

Asuma even got him to laugh once as he imitated the behavior of a small child who was causing his mother some difficulty… the child was delighted and soon the mother’s frustration had turned to amusement. Iruka watch approvingly, Asuma was good with kids.

When Asuma returned to Iruka’s side they started back to his apartment Iruka couldn’t help teasing him, “Asuma you’ve missed your calling… you should teach at the academy!” He taunted playfully.

Asuma mocked a face of horror, “Oh no you don’t, you and Tsunade already saddled me with three of those little delinquents!”

Iruka gave him a evil laugh, “Just you wait… we’re not done with you. Wait until those demons tie you up and…” Iruka’s playful mood evaporated instantly, his stomach clenched. Tie him up... suddenly Iruka only wanted to get home where no one could see him cry. 

Iruka raised his chin stubbornly, but the thought brought tears to his eyes and for a minute he wasn’t sure he could hold them back, he swallowed his throat tight. “I think I need to get home now.” Asuma nodded and they continued silently to Iruka’s apartment.

At the apartment Asuma walked in and placed the bags of fruit on the counter. Iruka stiffened then turned and walked out to the living room. Everything reminded him of Ibiki. He could hear Asuma putting the fruit away and folding the bags.

When Asuma walked into the living room Iruka looked up at Asuma, “Thank you.”

Asuma nodded. “Would you like me to leave?” Asuma’s voice was mild. 

Iruka shook his head, “No… please stay, I’m ok.” 

Asuma sat, and gave a little smile, “I don’t doubt that. So have you decided who’s the lucky Jounin you’re going to foist Konahamaru on… please tell me you are not considering me.”

Iruka couldn’t help a little smile; Asuma always said the right thing. Suddenly Iruka knew he had to try… Iruka leaned over and kissed Asuma softly, then leaned back “Anything?”

“Nope.” Asuma replied, then tilted his head comically and teased, “That wasn’t your way of telling me ‘yes’ your assigning Konahamaru to me was it… please tell me no.”

Iruka grinned, glad. It brought him a great deal of joy, for some reason it made him value Asuma even more than before. It meant he really was a friend who cared about him, that he hadn’t had a hidden purpose to his kindness… 

To know there had been no motive that Asuma valued him as a friend, as a person, not viewed him as a possible future sex partner meant more to him than anyone would ever guess.

“No… we haven’t decided who the lucky squad leader will be yet.” Iruka replied.

Asuma and Iruka talked about the possible strengths and weaknesses of the students, and who they thought should be grouped in the three man teams until it got late. Then Asuma grinned and got up, “Gotta go. Thanks for the food, see you Tuesday.” 

Iruka smiled and followed him to the door, “Asuma, thank you… for everything.”

Asuma shrugged, “Anytime, see ya!” He turned and trotted down the stairs and Iruka closed and locked the door.

Iruka was glad he hadn’t ended his friendship with Asuma by kissing him… he just had to know, he couldn’t take another betrayal and he didn’t want to always wonder if Asuma had a motive… but Asuma was really a friend, and that made Iruka’s world seem a bit less cruel.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
CHAPTER 2  
IBIKI:

The operative standing before him looked seriously sick, he was obviously terrified and it gave Ibiki a ominous feeling… there was something in that report that the operative was afraid would ‘trigger’ him.

Ibiki tossed around the idea of making him stay while he read the report, then dismissed it as unusually sadistic even for him… besides he had a feeling he wouldn’t want anyone to see his reaction to whatever was in the report.

Ibiki held out his hand, the operative’s hand actually shook as he placed the report in it. Ibiki fixed him with a demanding look and the operative stilled, all emotion leaving his face. Ibiki addressed him in a firm voice. “Thank you, that will be all.” 

The operative gave a nod and left the room only slightly faster than normal.

Ibiki frowned, everything was falling apart, and the moral of his men was seriously low. Ibiki opened the report, his jaw clenched and a low growl came unbidden from his lips. Iruka was quite the busy guy… Kakashi, Asuma… who was next?! 

A moment later he had to revise his earlier statement about being too professional to throw things, but at least he stuck to items meant to be thrown… those kunai wouldn’t be easy to remove, he wouldn’t be surprised if the tips were sticking out of the other side of the reinforced wall.

Kakashi came strolling in, swinging the door shut behind him and slouching casually in the chair regarding Ibiki out of one lazy eye. He hadn’t taken off his mask… a sure sign he expected trouble.

Ibiki’s eyes glittered with malice. Kakashi glanced mockingly at the kunai buried in the wall, most so deep that all that was visible were the handles. “Target practice?”

“Well if it isn’t Kakashi…” Ibiki’s voice was playful, but under its tone the air of savage violence was clear. “Is this a social call? I’m in the mood for a ‘guest’…”

The threat was sincere, aggressive, a warning that Ibiki was at a point where it wouldn’t take much to change Kakashi’s status from nin to a bloody pile of meat.

Kakashi acknowledged his threat with a eloquent nod, the feral look in his eye however said that if Ibiki tried that course it wouldn’t be without great cost, possibly Ibiki’s life.

Having come to that understanding, Kakashi brazenly stated, “You have the operatives scared, it’s effecting their jobs.”

Ibiki regarded Kakashi coldly. The man was so like him… the threat of brutal death was nothing. Ibiki knew that kiss, kissing his Iruka had meant nothing to Kakashi and yet it ate at him.

Kakashi looked at Ibiki impassively, “He’s just a toy to you… if he’s just a toy you are no longer using why should it matter?”

“It matters…” Ibiki snarled in a low rumble. Ibiki knew he was betraying his frustration and it only frustrated him further. The kisses… the fury that he felt at them tore at him.

Kakashi gave him a cold-blooded look “Think of this as a torture you must endure… right now you’re behaving like a Genin, it shouldn’t be this easy to crack you… you’re stronger than this.

Kakashi got up and strolled to the door. “This isn’t you Ibiki.” Kakashi stated without turning, opened the door and walked out closing it quietly behind him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

Just when Kakashi didn’t think things could get any worse… and to think only yesterday he thought they’d already reached bottom. Ibiki’s behavior was getting out of hand and like it or not he had to intervene before Ibiki did something ‘irreversible’.

This wouldn’t be pleasant… but it was necessary, hopefully he could turn things around. Kakashi strolled casually in the ANBU building and right into Ibiki’s office. From the looks on the faces of the few ANBU still in the building, things were escalating quickly and so when he spotted the handles of several Kunai sticking out of the wall he wasn’t surprised, Kakashi took a seat, eyeing Ibiki. 

Ibiki looked like a caged bear that had been taunted one too many times and Kakashi was automatically on alert. Things were going to be touchy… still being the sarcastic type he couldn’t resist commenting on Ibiki’s display of temper. “Target practice?”

“Well if it isn’t Kakashi…” Ibiki’s vicious gaze rested on Kakashi, dismissing Kakashi’s jibe, his face looked almost amiable, his voice cordial but beneath its hospitable tone lay deadly fury. “Is this a social call? I’m in the mood for a ‘guest’…”

Ibiki’s threat was barely disguised, and intended to caution Kakashi to watch his tongue. Kakashi inclined head signifying he heard the true meaning but gave Ibiki a bold forbidding look warning that it was a course of action that was highly ill advised, and that he should think carefully before making that move. Kakashi could see in Ibiki’s gaze that the warning was understood; although he was enraged enough that it barely mattered.

“You have the operatives scared, it’s effecting their jobs.” Kakashi’s casual voice bluntly announced. 

Ibiki just glared at Kakashi, Kakashi could almost see the thoughts going through his mind… and that bothered Kakashi more than his temper, Ibiki was not a man to show his emotions.

Ibiki’s fierce, vengeful, wrath at the knowledge that Kakashi had kissed Iruka… and now Asuma. Kakashi had watched the kiss and knew the news would have reached Ibiki before his arrival. Although Ibiki was too smart to think Kakashi’s kiss had meant anything he was still furious…

Kakashi’s voice was serious, his face stony. “He’s just a toy to you… if he’s just a toy you are no longer using why should it matter?”

“It matters…” Ibiki growled. Kakashi could hear the rage and frustration in his tone. Ibiki didn’t want this; he didn’t want it to matter.

Kakashi gave Ibiki a harsh look, his tone was demanding, “Think of this as a torture you must endure…” Kakashi’s voice turned caustic. “Right now you’re behaving like a Genin, it shouldn’t be this easy to crack you…” Kakashi looked gravely into Ibiki’s eyes, and stated firmly. “You’re stronger than this.”

Kakashi rose lithely from his indifferent slouch in the chair and walked to the door, he paused. Kakashi was perplexed, his voice was subdued, “This isn’t you Ibiki.” Kakashi could feel Ibiki’s eyes on him as he walked out and closed the door.

Time for a drink… someone better be buying, hell he’d just walked a thin rope over yet another pit… no, not pit, more like chasm. Kakashi was half tempted to take a long mission and get the hell out of here… but he had a feeling things were just getting started.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

IRUKA:

Early in the day Tuesday Iruka had to venture out into the market place again… this time alone, Genma wouldn’t be done with his squad’s training until later. Iruka needed the fish and other fresh ingredients to get the recipe started before he arrived… he couldn’t avoid it, he knew when he made this dinner plan that it would require he go to the market that afternoon. He’d made the plan so he’d be forced into taking this step and yet he was so frightened of this step he almost changed his mind and made something else… Asuma wouldn’t mind.

Iruka took a deep breath and raised his chin, no he could do this, he WOULD do this. Iruka carefully checked his weapon pouch, then sighed and rolled his eyes in disgust at himself… when had he become such a coward? He almost took the weapons pouch off but in the end it stayed and he decided he would carry a kunai, he wouldn’t be unarmed… he couldn’t believe how he’d walked around so clueless for all those years, rarely carrying any type of weapon… until Ibiki. He was a bit uncomfortable with that knowledge and very sure this line of thought wouldn’t help with his nervousness at going out somewhere so public alone. 

Iruka walked out the door locking it firmly behind him. As he walked towards the market it felt like everyone was looking at him, whispering about him… but he knew it was just his nerves playing tricks on him. He bought all his ingredients and was approaching the fishmonger when the encounter he’d been dreading happened.

Genma drifted out from where he’d been leaning under a tree, Iruka hadn’t seen him until he was less than four feet from him. Iruka froze, his heart hammering, he tried to calm himself repeating ‘it will be ok, it will be ok…’ in his head, but it didn’t feel ok.

“Iruka, I’ve been wanting to talk to you… you’ve been avoiding me.” Genma said closing the distance and grasping his arm.

“Stop. Don’t touch me.” Iruka was surprised to hear his was voice steady.

“Why are you avoiding me? You know I’ve been waiting for you…” Genma said leaning in and his hand reached out to…

Kakashi was suddenly at Iruka’s side. “Ah, Iruka sorry I’m late… Genma, I’m afraid we have to go. You know how it is…” Kakashi gave Genma a wink. 

Genma’s hand fell off Iruka’s arm, his other hand dropping to his side, he looked between Kakashi and Iruka a minute then nodded, “Yeah, I understand.” His eyes traveled to where Kakashi’s hand now rested on Iruka’s shoulder. “Well maybe I’ll see you both at the bar later.”

Iruka lifted his chin staring into Genma’s eyes, “Maybe.” 

Genma nodded and walked away. Iruka turned to Kakashi, “Thank you.”

Kakashi’s hand dropped and he shrugged, “Thought you looked like you could use a distraction.”

Iruka nodded, and then sighed, “I don’t think I’m ready to deal with him yet…”

Kakashi’s eye wrinkled in amusement, “I doubt he’ll try anything now.”

Iruka cracked a smile, “Thank you, you swept in like my guardian angel, but I have to get the fish and get home or I’ll never get it done in time.”

Kakashi nodded, “I will carry the bags while you get your fish… I have to go that way anyway.”

Iruka nodded, “Ok, I’ll be just a second.”

Having selected the perfect fish, Iruka rejoined Kakashi. “I really appreciate your help, you are really too kind… I hope this fish is big enough.” Iruka laughed, “Asuma has got quite a appetite.”

As they walked away from the market Iruka silently enjoyed the happy playing children running around and the peaceful tranquility that the village had towards evening. Kakashi didn’t like to make small talk, and Iruka was ok with that, they walked quietly and Kakashi seemed to relax as it became obvious Iruka wasn’t going to ‘talk his ear off’… 

Iruka made great effort to not notice how sexy Kakashi was, and how this was like the first time they walked together towards his apartment, he was grateful Kakashi didn’t seem to be… ‘interested’ in him, he wasn’t ready for anything like that… not for a long time. 

Iruka stopped to wave at some of his students, then started forward once more with a brief apology to Kakashi for delaying their walk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt their feelings… please don’t feel you have to carry those, I can take them back now.” 

Iruka took the bags from Kakashi, it was not a good idea to have him walk all the way… just incase. “Thank you Kakashi.” Kakashi gave him an enigmatic look, then nodded. Iruka turned and continued to his apartment already thinking on how to best prepare the fish. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

Kakashi leapt out of the tree limb he’d been sitting on ‘reading’, he’d spotted Iruka in the market on his way to the bar and when he saw how Genma was seeming to stalk him he found he had to intervene. The last thing they needed at this point was Genma kissing Iruka

“Ah, Iruka sorry I’m late…” Kakashi proclaimed nonchalantly. Genma looked at Kakashi his gaze darkening. Kakashi placed his hand on Iruka’s shoulder, silently staking his claim. “Genma, I’m afraid we have to go.” Kakashi teased coyly. “You know how it is…” Incase Genma was too dense to pick up on the unspoken message Kakashi gave Genma a little wink. 

Genma’s hand released Iruka, his hands reluctantly falling to his sides, he looked at Kakashi then Iruka with a frown, his eyes rested on Kakashi’s hand and nodded replying stiffly. “Yeah, I understand… Well maybe I’ll see you both at the bar later.”

“Maybe.” Iruka replied coldly. Genma gave Kakashi a last look then left. Iruka looked at Kakashi his gentle brown eyes grateful, “Thank you.”

As soon as Genma walked away Kakashi’s hand fell from Iruka’s shoulder, Kakashi casually shrugged. “Thought you looked like you could use a distraction.”

Kakashi leaned in slightly as they talked, keeping eye contact, all his body language sending the ‘unconscious’ message of intimacy. Kakashi could feel Genma’s eyes on them; the funny thing was he actually thought Kakashi wouldn’t know.

Iruka nodded with a relieved sigh, “I don’t think I’m ready to deal with him yet…” 

He really need to teach the little doe some ‘dirty tricks’ to get the upper hand in a fight, give him some confidence. Kakashi gave Iruka a wry smile; “I doubt he’ll try anything now.”

Iruka gave Kakashi an appreciative smile. “Thank you, you swept in like my guardian angel, but I have to get the fish and get home or I’ll never get it done in time.”

Kakashi studied Iruka, his gaze speculative, then nodded. “I will carry the bags while you get your fish… I have to go that way anyway.”

Iruka nodded, “Ok, I’ll be just a second.” As Iruka walked into the fish stall, Kakashi wordlessly acknowledged he knew Genma was watching, his eye pinning him. Genma was satisfied that he’d lost to Kakashi and left. Kakashi didn’t think Genma was stupid enough to mess with Iruka now but… he wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box and may need a little ‘extra persuasion’ later. 

Iruka returned and gave Kakashi a sincere smile, “I really appreciate your help, you are really too kind… I hope this fish is big enough.” Iruka laughed lightly. “Asuma has got quite a appetite.”

This was the part of ‘interacting’ Kakashi hated most, he hated trying to come up with small talk and people trying to get him to interact by asking question after question. To Kakashi’s surprise Iruka walked quietly, he seemed to be enjoying the walk.

Iruka only stopped once to wave at some students, then continued with a little apology, “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt their feelings… please don’t feel you have to carry those, I can take them back now.” Iruka reached out taking the bags from Kakashi. “Thank you Kakashi.” Iruka smiled softly then turned and walked toward his apartment. 

Kakashi was beginning to understand the draw of Iruka… acceptance. Iruka accepted you, accepted whatever flaws you had without expecting anything from you… that was a powerful draw… and a hard temptation to resist. Kakashi walked back towards the market… and the bar, now he knew he needed a drink.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GENMA:

Genma had watched Iruka walking around the market waiting for the right time, then Iruka walked right toward him, Iruka hadn’t noticed him and by the time he did Genma had closed the distance.

Genma reached out and grabbed Iruka’s arm, he wanted to talk to him and he was afraid Iruka would ‘run away’, he’d been avoiding Genma since he tried to kiss him. Genma just wanted the chance to talk. “Iruka, I’ve been wanting to talk to you… you’ve been avoiding me.”

Iruka blanched looking at Genma’s grip on his arm then he looked up and his voice was icy. “Stop. Don’t touch me.” 

Genma was bewildered. “Why are you avoiding me? You know I’ve been waiting for you…” he reached out to brush Iruka’s cheek…

“Ah, Iruka sorry I’m late…” Kakashi announced appearing quite suddenly at Iruka’s side. Genma’s hand froze; his eyes turning to look at Kakashi then back at Iruka.

“Genma, I’m afraid we have to go. You know how it is…” Kakashi’s tone was playful and he winked. Genma’s hands fell away from Iruka.

This was not happening! Just when he’d finally got Iruka alone to talk to him, Kakashi shows up! Since when did Kakashi have an interest in bedding anyone more than once?! And why Iruka, just when Genma had finally got him away from Ibiki… now Kakashi wanted him?!

Genma looked at Kakashi’s hand resting affectionately on Iruka’s shoulder nearly cupping his neck. Iruka wasn’t asking KAKASHI not to touch him… like he had when Genma touched him. “Yeah, I understand… Well maybe I’ll see you both at the bar later.”

Iruka gave Genma a defiant look, “Maybe.” Genma’s eyes rested on Kakashi and he nodded, then turned and walked away… but not far. Genma couldn’t get the memory of holding Iruka in his arms out of his mind… if he could just talk to Iruka… make him see. 

Kakashi was no better than Ibiki; Iruka was just being used again! Why couldn’t he see that?! Genma watched as Kakashi leaned in talking affectionately to Iruka, it made him disgusted, Kakashi… he’d gotten laid more than the village strays, that’s what he was… a dog! Kakashi didn’t deserve a person like Iruka!

Iruka walked into the fish mart, leaving Kakashi out front holding his other bags, Kakashi turned and looked right at Genma. 

Genma swallowed hard… it didn’t matter he could wait, Kakashi would tired of Iruka and move on, until then it wouldn’t pay to piss off Kakashi. Genma turned and left, Kakashi wouldn’t be around forever.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ASUMA:

Asuma trotted up the steps, he could smell Iruka’s wonderful cooking before he’d even made it in the door. He hoped everything had gone ok at the market, Iruka hadn’t said anything but Asuma knew he’d been worried about going alone.

Truly Asuma didn’t think Genma would harm Iruka in anyway. Asuma had known Genma for years… he was a hot head but not really much of a danger, but it didn’t matter what he thought… what was important is what Iruka thought and as long as he felt like there was a danger, it was the same as the danger actually being there. Asuma liked Iruka too much to belittle him.

Asuma knocked on the door and Iruka answered it, his body was angled to hide the kunai he always wore. Asuma knew Iruka’s hand was on the kunai and as always he ignored it so he wouldn’t embarrass Iruka. “Asuma.” Iruka said warmly, his hand leaving his weapon.

“Hey Iruka! Smells great!” Asuma walked in and heard Iruka close and lock the door. Asuma noted Iruka was back to locking it… something must have happened at the market today. Iruka smiled warmly and followed Asuma to the kitchen and while Asuma sat Iruka brought the rest of the platters to the table.

“Wow! You really make a beautiful meal, and I’m sure it tastes as wonderful as it looks.” 

Asuma made no effort to hide the fact he was studying Iruka throughout the meal, Iruka was eating even less than usual. After the meal, as Iruka and Asuma washed the dishes, Asuma inquired. “So what have you got planned for tomorrow?”

Iruka was silent a few moments, then looked up at Asuma. “I think I’d like to come to the bar with you tonight.”

Asuma raised his eyebrows then continued calmly, “Got it. How’s the kids doin’, that Konahamaru pull any pranks on you since the last time?”

Iruka shook his head, “He’s been strangely calm… he must have something big planned.”

Asuma laughed, “He sure keeps you on your toes…”

“Yes.” Iruka’s reply was quiet… subdued. He was silent for several minutes, then surprised Asuma by turning to look at him again. “I saw Genma today…”

Asuma said nothing, waiting and continuing to wash the dishes. If Iruka wanted to continue he would… and Asuma had a feeling Iruka would. Asuma wondered if today’s meeting with Genma had anything to do with Iruka’s desire to go to the bar tonight. 

“Genma tried to talk to me outside the fishmongers.” Asuma nodded, confirming he was listening. Iruka placed his hand on Asuma’s arm. Asuma looked over at him curiously.

“Asuma… about the other night.” Iruka’s eyes were apprehensive.

Asuma looked at Iruka bewildered. 

“When I kissed you.” Iruka explained.

Asuma nodded in understanding, “No big deal.” He shrugged, it wasn’t the first time he’d been kissed by a man, didn’t really bother him… but it also did nothing for him so it was pointless, still if it was something Iruka felt he had to do, he was a bit curious why.

“Thanks… I just wanted to be sure…”

Asuma smirked, “No. No interest… nothing personal.” he teased, rubbing his shoulder when Iruka playfully hit him.

Iruka began drying the dishes again and Asuma finished washing the last of the dishes. “Genma wanted to talk… you know today at the market. Do you think I should talk to him?” Iruka looked up at Asuma again.

Asuma was pleasantly surprised at Iruka’s choosing to meet his eyes while talking about something that was uncomfortable for him. Asuma shrugged, “I think that’s up to you… you’ll know when it’s the right time.”

Iruka nodded quietly. Asuma grinned, “You want to go to the bar or hang around here a while?” 

Iruka looked thoughtful, “Yes, I’m ready to go.” His hand strayed down to his kunai, and he pulled his hand away glancing quickly at Asuma. 

Asuma pretended not to notice. “I think it’s your turn to buy.” Asuma teased as he followed Iruka out of the apartment and watched Iruka lock it. Iruka looked back at him with a little smile, “Oh no you don’t… you all will drink me broke!”

Asuma gave him a innocent look, “Who me?”

Iruka laughed and followed Asuma down the stairs and down the road to the bar. At the entrance to the bar Iruka hesitated. Asuma laughed, “Ok, I won’t make you pay…” then gave Iruka a friendly smile, “we don’t have to go in if you’d rather go back to your apartment… just no ‘grass’ tea!”

Iruka grinned, relaxing slightly. “No, I’m ready to go in.”

Asuma shrugged and nodded, then walked in beside Iruka. They barely got in the door before everyone started yelling welcomes and insults… things never changed.

“Hey Iruka!” “Asuma, you dog, hide the sake!” “Hello Iruka.” 

Iruka smiled warmly at Raidou, “Hello.”

Raidou pulled out a chair beside him… and Kakashi. Asuma watched Iruka, he seemed ok with it. Asuma relaxed and took a chair by Anko and Genma. “Hey all!” He greeted loudly, “who’s buying?!”

Anko laughed, “We actually got ‘Mr. Moneybags’ over here to spring for it!” she grinned and hit Genma. 

Asuma noticed Genma was watching Iruka. Kakashi shifted and Genma’s eyes darted to Kakashi before he looked away. “Yeah they nailed me for it.” 

Interesting… Kakashi was protecting Iruka. Asuma poured himself a drink and sat back to watch. Kakashi made no moves on Iruka, in fact the only time he seemed to notice Iruka was if Genma’s eyes even looked that direction… then Kakashi would fix Genma with a cold hard stare until he looked away.

Asuma had never seen Kakashi show an interest or ‘protect’ anyone and he wondered what Kakashi’s motivation was this time… it was highly unlikely it was sexual, if Kakashi had wanted sex Asuma knew Iruka would be ‘busy’ under him right now… 

Asuma wasn’t even interested in men and he would have a hard time resisting Kakashi’s seduction… an experience he’d learned one night when Kakashi had bet he could turn Asuma on by the end of the night… he succeeded. Luckily Kakashi lost interest after the bet was won or things could’ve gotten awkward.

No… Kakashi wouldn’t need to protect his conquests, people tended to court him, that left other reasons… and Asuma couldn’t off hand come up with what they’d be. It was an interesting puzzle. 

By the end of the night Genma had gotten the point and decided to leave. Asuma decided it was time for him to head home as well. “Hey Iruka, I’m out of here… early training with the brats, care to walk with me?”

Iruka gave him a grateful smile and nodded. Kakashi paid no attention to Iruka’s departure and, after a brief stroll; Iruka and Asuma had arrived in front of Iruka’s apartment building. Iruka eyed the stairwell cautiously. 

“Hey Iruka, you want to sit around a bit and have tea?” Asuma asked casually. 

Asuma could see Iruka was nervous about going into his dark apartment, but Iruka smiled. “No. Thank you. You really should go get some rest or your team will walk all over your tired butt in the morning.”

Asuma grinned, “Doesn’t sound fun. See ya' later!” Asuma waved and walked down the street. After Iruka went into his building Asuma returned and listened until he heard Iruka get into his apartment and lock the door. Then Asuma relaxed and continued down the road to his own apartment.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

The meal was ready and Asuma would be here any minute, Iruka fussed making sure everything was presented beautifully. When Asuma knocked, Iruka couldn’t help tensing; he answered the door with a cordial smile “Asuma.” And his hand slid from the handle of his kunai. Iruka waved Asuma in and he walked into the kitchen as Iruka closed the door. Iruka hesitated a minute then locked the door.

Iruka heard Asuma call, “Hey Iruka! Smells great!” from the kitchen and hurried to join him. The meal went well, but Iruka was deep in thought about his meeting with Genma and really wasn’t very hungry.

Afterward as Asuma and he cleaned, Asuma stated the routine. “So what you got planned for tomorrow?”

Iruka knew it was just the standard start of their conversations and Asuma wasn’t really asking about his plans as much as he was asking if he’d like to talk. Iruka was grateful, Asuma allowed him the freedom to talk without judgment, he looked up at his friend. “I think I’d like to come to the bar with you tonight.”

Asuma raised his eyebrows expressing his surprise but only said, “Got it.” Before moving on to a comfortable subject. “How’s the kids doin’, that Konahamaru pull any pranks on you since the last time?”

Iruka returned his eyes to the bowl he was drying and shook his head. “He’s been strangely calm… he must have something big planned.” 

Asuma gave a wry laugh. “He sure keeps you on your toes…” 

Iruka sobered, yes Konahamaru used to get him with his pranks all the time before Ibiki… “Yes.” Iruka made an effort to pull his thoughts away from that line of thought and landed on another issue. Iruka looked up at Asuma again, reading his face as he said, “I saw Genma today…”Asuma didn’t seem worried and Iruka continued, “Genma tried to talk to me outside the fishmongers.” Asuma nodded politely.

Iruka thought about how he could’ve lost his good friend by his action the other night, in many ways he’d done just what Genma had done to him… just surprised Asuma by kissing him without his expecting it… and Asuma didn’t like men like that, he could’ve offended him. Iruka placed his hand on Asuma’s arm, Asuma looked down at him inquisitively. “Asuma… about the other night.” Asuma looked confused. “When I kissed you.” 

Asuma nodded understanding, and then shrugged benignly, “No big deal.” 

Iruka was relieved to see Asuma wasn’t embarrassed or upset, he seemed to have dismissed it. “Thanks… I just wanted to be sure…”

Asuma smiled mischievously, and teased. “No. No interest… nothing personal.” 

Iruka hit Asuma lightly, and couldn’t help laughing at his false ‘wounded’ look; he started drying the dishes again while Asuma resumed washing. “Genma wanted to talk… you know today at the market. Do you think I should talk to him?” Iruka watched Asuma’s face.

Asuma merely shrugged noncommittally and replied, “I think that’s up to you… you’ll know when it’s the right time.” Iruka thought about that, and then nodded, Asuma was right he’d know. 

Asuma flashed him a smile, “You want to go to the bar or hang around here a while?” 

Iruka steeled himself, “Yes, I’m ready to go.” Iruka’s hand reached down to brush over his kunai, then he pulled his hand away embarrassed, glancing at Asuma and breathing a sigh of relief when it didn’t seem like Asuma had noticed.

“I think it’s your turn to buy.” Asuma taunted him with a wicked smile. 

Iruka joined his lighthearted banter; he knew Asuma was trying to put him at ease. “Oh no you don’t… you all will drink me broke!”

Asuma attempted, rather pitifully, to look innocent. “Who me?” Iruka couldn’t help laughing.

When they arrived at the bar Iruka felt a wave of panic. “Ok, I won’t make you pay…” Asuma teased trying to relax him, and then continued lightheartedly. “We don’t have to go in if you’d rather go back to your apartment… just no ‘grass’ tea!”

Asuma was a great friend, Iruka flashed him a smile. “No, I’m ready to go in.” Asuma acknowledged his choice and pushed the door open walking into the chaos at his side, everyone yelled greetings and comments… but the only one Iruka heard was Raidou’s calm, “Hello Iruka.”

Iruka realized he’d missed his quiet friend, Iruka smiled, “Hello.” Raidou gave him a gentle smile and pushed out the chair beside him, Kakashi’s eye flicked over at him. Iruka sat between the two men and strangely felt almost comfortable. Asuma took a seat between Anko and Genma, greeting them all loudly.

Iruka could feel Genma’s gaze on him and stiffened, looking down at the table uncomfortably. Raidou poured Iruka a drink and nudged him softly, Iruka looked up at Raidou. As Raidou handed the drink to Iruka, he had a slight smile on his lips and he gave a little nod indicating Iruka should look over to his other side. Hesitantly Iruka looked and saw Genma nervously look away. Kakashi looked over at Iruka gave a little nod, Iruka looked at Raidou… Kakashi was defending him, and from the look in Raidou’s eyes he was involved in some way as well. Iruka relaxed, everything was going to be ok, he wouldn’t have to deal with Genma until he was ready. 

At the end of their night out Asuma rose to his feet and announced, “Hey Iruka, I’m out of here… early training with the brats, care to walk with me?” Iruka smiled, relieved. Although Genma had left earlier, Iruka was nervous that he would be waiting somewhere along the road. Kakashi’s eye flicked over Iruka then Asuma before looking away indifferently. Raidou smiled, as Iruka waved and walked out beside Asuma.

The walk to Iruka’s apartment was peaceful, it was warm and the sky was clear displaying endless sparkling stars. Beautiful. When they arrived at Iruka’s building, Iruka felt a spike of fear. Iruka couldn’t ask Asuma to walk him up like a child… Asuma seemed to sense his problem and asked “Hey Iruka you want to sit around a bit and have tea?” 

Iruka was grateful, but enough was enough… he was going to have to stand on his own, it was time, Iruka forced a smile. “No. Thank you. You really should go get some rest or your team will walk all over your tired butt in the morning.”

Asuma smiled in amusement. “Doesn’t sound fun. See ya’ later!” Then started down the street. Iruka placed his hand on his kunai and walked into the stairwell, Iruka hadn’t made it two steps before he could hear Asuma return to the doorway of his building. Iruka smiled, Asuma was kind not to want Iruka to feel like he was protecting him, very sweet. Iruka opened his door went in and locked it.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
CHAPTER 3:

IBIKI:

Ibiki sat down at his desk, looking at the kunai sticking out of the wall. Kakashi was a good man… and he was right. Ibiki had to think about his job and ANBU before his rampant emotions. 

It was time to put all that behind him, he’d functioned fine before Iruka and it was time to pull it together and resume his duties… he’d acted like a love sick teen long enough… ‘love sick?!’ Ibiki grunted and pinched his temple; he couldn’t seriously believe he was in love with Iruka or that he had the capacity to LOVE anyone. It was nonsense, and yet he knew he’d come to need Iruka on some level… that thought was not a pleasant one.

Ibiki frowned and pulled out the reports he needed to review, refocusing his chaotic thoughts on the necessary and familiar… his job. When the ANBU operative came in to deliver his mission report Ibiki looked up his cold calm exterior once more firmly in place, took the report and nodded dismissing him and returning to his papers. The ANBU agent relaxed, the Ibiki they knew had returned.

As the afternoon turned to evening Ibiki received the final daily report, he tried not to take special note of Iruka’s place in it. Asuma was visiting Iruka, no, not interested… he noted that Kakashi, Anko, Genma, Raidou were at the local bar… no unusual activity in the market, looked like all was quiet.

Ibiki got up, no need to stay he didn’t have any ‘guests’ to visit and his reports and paperwork were complete. Ibiki walked out of the ANBU HQ and passed silently through the village, once home he’d heat something from the cooler and… Ibiki paused, looking up at Iruka’s darkened window. 

Looks like Asuma left… or they moved on to another ‘activity’. Ibiki felt a brush of aggression, then unease. Ibiki knew he shouldn’t but he leapt to the tree, slid the lock of Iruka’s bedroom window and stepped in. The room was quiet; Ibiki heard a soft rasp and turned catching the kunai that was aimed for his back. 

“Interesting.” Ibiki commented, moderately amused. Iruka stepped from a shadow out of sight of the window Ibiki had entered.

“I heard you slip the catch.” Iruka said, his voice was reserved and he stepped out further into the light, his hand dropping from his weapons pouch.

Ibiki nodded, pleased. His little dolphin had changed… not HIS little dolphin; no he couldn’t think of Iruka as his, he shouldn’t be here.

“I shouldn’t be here…I was wrong.” Ibiki rumbled softly. Just seeing him made Ibiki want to strip him… feel Iruka’s body beneath his… trace his scars…

“No. Stay… please. I need you….” Iruka’s posture softened, surrendering to him, it teased Ibiki. 

Ibiki’s control wavered, his eyes lighting with desire, then he grasped a tight hold over his emotions. His voice was grave. “I can’t have a relationship with you, I’d hurt you.”

“But what if I want you to hurt me?” Iruka implored intensely his voice soft, yearning.

“I can’t.” Ibiki placed more distance between them, he should leave this wasn’t good for either of them. 

“I don’t care what every body says! I want you… only you!” Iruka’s voice was strained.

“I was killing you, piece by piece…” Ibiki’s eyes were deliberately unfeeling, but inside those words hurt, Iruka wanted him… him, the man no one wanted. He should never have touched him, tainted him… damaged him.

“You were making me stronger!” Iruka asserted passionately.

“You were already strong, you just didn’t know it.” Ibiki unconsciously crossed the room; his hand brushed away the tears from Iruka’s cheek. These tears didn’t bring him any joy.

“Not without you…” Iruka insisted firmly. “You empowered me, I knew I could face anything…” Dejected Iruka continued. “Now I feel small and weak.” Ibiki stiffened, taking a step back, hardening his heart.

“Ibiki don’t leave me living this half life… you feel it too or you wouldn’t be here.” Iruka stated with quiet determination.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel.” Ibiki replied indifferently.

“You have med nins!” Iruka implored, his voice taking on a desperate note.

“I can’t keep hurting you!” Ibiki corrected harshly, stepping closer, his stance was menacing but Iruka didn’t back away. Ibiki’s eyes were cold, “you have formed a attachment to me because I’m your abuser, it is normal for captives to become attached… to start to bond and sympathize with their captor… I seen it dozens of times before, you WILL get over this attachment.” Ibiki knew deep in his heart that his words were true; Iruka’s ‘love’ was nothing more than the normal physiological reaction to long-term control and abuse… Ibiki’s feelings however…

Iruka raised his chin stubbornly, his tone was determined, “and do they also become STRONGER from this ‘attachment’?! Does it give them the courage to face anything?! Does it improve their lives and make them better people?! Because that’s what being with you does for me!”

Ibiki studied Iruka cold-bloodedly; the best thing he could do is leave and have no further contact with him. Ibiki turned away and walked to the window. “Don’t.” Ibiki said firmly, his voice stern and heartless. “Go on with your life.” The Ibiki left, leaping to the tree limb then down to the street and refusing to look back.

It was over, no more… he couldn’t let himself feel, for Iruka's sake he must lock those thoughts and emotions away forever. Iruka would recover… he was strong, one of the strongest men Ibiki had ever met.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

Iruka turned out his bedroom lights and was about to go shower when he heard it, the soft scratch of someone springing the latch on his bedroom window. Iruka slid back against the wall; hidden in the shadow next to the window the intruder wouldn’t see him until it was too late. Iruka drew his kunai and as the person slipped quietly into the room Iruka threw his kunai center mass, the intruder shifted catching it and Iruka heard an amused voice he recognized taunt. “Interesting.”

Iruka stepped out of the shadow his heart pounding, madly. “I heard you slip the catch.” Ibiki made an approving nod. Ibiki’s eyes studied Iruka, and Iruka’s heart pounded harder but not in fear. 

Ibiki’s voice was like a rough low purr. “I shouldn’t be here…I was wrong.”

Iruka wasn’t sure if he meant he was sorry he was here or regretted their previous arrangement. Either way Ibiki was wrong about not being here. “No. Stay… please. I need you….” 

Ibiki’s gaze was serious, “I can’t have a relationship with you, I’d hurt you.” he replied solemnly.

“But what if I want you to hurt me?” Iruka insisted sadly.

“I can’t.” Ibiki moved away and Iruka clenched his hands trying not to attempt to grab him, he couldn’t go, he couldn’t walk away… there had to be a way.

“I don’t care what everybody says! I want you… only you!” Iruka hated the pleading note in his voice.

Ibiki’s face was completely void of emotion. “I was killing you, piece by piece…” he stated his voice flat, detached.

Iruka declared anxiously “You were making me stronger!”

“You were already strong, you just didn’t know it.” Ibiki’s hand reached out to brush away the tears Iruka hadn’t known he was crying.

“Not without you…” Iruka argued fervently. “You empowered me, I knew I could face anything…” 

Iruka sagged in despair, “Now I feel small and weak.” Iruka looked up at Ibiki, his features were shadowed and Iruka couldn’t read his expression, Ibiki moved away. “Ibiki don’t leave me living this half life… you feel it too or you wouldn’t be here.” Iruka asserted gravely.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel.” Ibiki’s tone was reserved.

“You have med nins!” Iruka beseeched a frantic edge to his voice.

Ibiki’s gaze was hard “I can’t keep hurting you!” he towered over Iruka intimidating, ferocious. Iruka refused to back away. Ibiki’s voice was coldly analytical, “You have formed a attachment to me because I’m your abuser, it is normal for captives to become attached… to start to bond and sympathize with their captor… I seen it dozens of times before, you WILL get over this attachment.”

Iruka stiffened, his voice fierce he demanded, “And do they also become STRONGER from this ‘attachment’?! Does it give them the courage to face anything?! Does it improve their lives and make them better people?! Because that’s what being with you does for me!” 

Ibiki just looked at Iruka silently, then turned and walked over to the window. “Don’t…” Ibiki stated savagely. Ibiki didn’t turn around, he was going to leave and Iruka wanted to grab him, stop him but he couldn’t. “Go on with your life.” Ibiki leapt out and was gone.

Iruka bowed his head, this time hurt more than the last… he knew Ibiki cared for him, he just had to find some way to make him see it.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GENMA:

When Genma walked in the bar’s door he saw Anko, Raidou and Kakashi… but no Iruka. He crossed the room pulling up a chair. Kakashi seemed oblivious to him, studying the bar out of one bored eye. The egotist had his usual jutsu up that made people not notice his mask was down, he always had it in place when they went out drinking, guess his ‘friends’ weren’t good enough to see his face. Bastard… the only people who ever saw him without his mask was the ones he’d fucked… and some of them hadn’t either. Like it was some kind of privilege to see his face!

Genma poured a drink and sat back, “So Anko, Raidou what’s up?” He wouldn’t ask Kakashi… Kakashi rarely acknowledged anyone, other than to ‘gift’ them with an indifferent look if he felt like it.

Anko hit him up for the next bottle, “Come on, you know it’s your turn!” Genma tossed out the money for the bottle and ‘talked shop’ with Anko for a while but he kept a eye on the door hoping Iruka would walk in… he’d said he might come, and if Kakashi was already here maybe he had lost interest in him.

Genma’s patience was rewarded when the door opened and Asuma and Iruka entered. Anko and Raidou greeted them, Genma was just about to pull up a chair next to him when Kakashi shifted over and Raidou pulled a chair between himself and Kakashi. Iruka sat, Genma watched him as Raidou poured him a drink… then realized Kakashi was glaring at him, Genma shifted uncomfortably, what was with Kakashi! What interest did he have in Iruka?!

The rest of Genma’s night continued the same way, he couldn’t even look in Iruka’s direction without Kakashi’s challenge. Finally he’d had enough and left. Cussing that one eyed, albino freak most of the way back to his apartment.

Now Genma was here… He just couldn’t see any way around it, all this started when Iruka and Ibiki started ‘dating’, now here he was at the academy waiting for the students to get out for morning break in a hope that he could talk to Iruka… Genma hadn’t meant to upset him, yeah, he guessed it was bad timing when he kissed Iruka but…

“Iruka!” Genma hurried over, this time careful to keep his hands to himself. 

Iruka turned, stiffened but didn’t try to leave. “Genma.”

Now that he had Iruka alone Genma was at a loss, he wasn’t sure what to say. Genma sighed, the looked earnestly into Iruka’s eyes “I’m sorry.”

Iruka nodded curtly. 

Genma pleaded, “I really… I didn’t plan on doing that… I guess I just was so upset by everything that happened… I wouldn’t hurt you… I…”

Iruka’s posture had relaxed somewhat but his mouth was still a stiff line.

“Iruka please… say something.” Genma begged.

“What would you like me to say? That it’s ok? It’s not.” Iruka’s voice was soft, but held more pain and anger than if he’d yelled.

Genma was perplexed, “What was so wrong about kissing you!” he yelled in frustration. Several people turned and looked before continuing the tasks they were busy with.

Iruka’s face flushed, but Genma couldn’t say if it was in anger or embarrassment. Iruka’s voice was glacial. “Are you finished? I would like to go grade these papers.”

“No! No I am not done! Talk to me! Tell me what I’ve done to piss you off like this!” Genma demanded.

Iruka trembled. “I’m done with this conversation.” 

Iruka turned to walk away and Genma grabbed his arm. “Will you talk to me?!” Genma demanded, he was frustrated and angry, why was Iruka acting like this?!

“Let go of me.” Iruka hissed, his body shook. “NOW!”

“Damn it Iruka why? Why…”

Genma felt the breath knocked out of him. He was lying in the road coughing he looked up and saw a very enraged Raidou looking at him coldly

“I see I missed play time…” Genma glanced over to see Kakashi lounging lazily against a wall. “Genma didn’t your mommy ever tell you to keep your hands to yourself?” He chastised sarcastically.

Iruka stomped over. “No one touches me! NO ONE! I’m done being the bone that every dog is after!” Iruka growled, his eyes flashing. “You touch me again and I guarantee you will be missing body parts!” Iruka turned and stormed away, Raidou gave Genma one last disgusted look and walked away as well.

“Ah Genma…” Kakashi said lightly. “I’m done being kind… playtime is over. You really don’t want to see how many ways I can cause you serious injury, all without dropping my morning coffee.” 

Genma slowly got to his feet, his ribs ached and he looked down the road at Iruka’s departing back. “I just wanted to talk…”

Kakashi raised a sarcastic eyebrow. “If that’s how you talk I wouldn’t try it again… could be fatal.” He stated lightly, then Kakashi stood and walked away.

Genma just stood looking down the road, Iruka was gone now but Genma was sure wherever he’d gone he wouldn’t be alone. Genma sighed and winced, Raidou may have cracked a rib, he’d deal with the pain he wasn’t about to go to the hospital and explain how he’d gotten the injury.

Damn, he really screwed up… again.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

He hadn’t wanted to make a scene in front of everybody, but in refraining he’d once again had to be ‘rescued’, the thought sickened him. 

He just wasn’t the aggressive type. Genma… Iruka thought he’d been ready to handle him, but Genma had made him so furious he couldn’t talk he’d just wanted to leave, get away from everyone’s eyes. 

Iruka’s cheeks flushed in anger and embarrassment again, the man infuriated him… he didn’t understand, it wasn’t just about the kiss, it was the way Genma treated him! 

Genma treated him like he was a possession… like he knew what was best for Iruka and Iruka should gladly let him make his decisions for him, protect him, coddle him… he treated Iruka like he was a weak, defiant child. Genma’s kiss and all these times he’d grabbed him only reinforced the belief that Genma thought he should be able to control Iruka.

Everyone behaved like he’d let Ibiki control him… but he’d never had to fight for control with Ibiki… In spite of everyone’s belief. Iruka was always in control, it had been him choosing to go to Ibiki, choosing to be whipped, every step he’d taken was a choice… and Ibiki never treated him like he was weak or pathetic, just taken the control that Iruka freely gave and dominated him… which, incidentally, was still very sexy! 

Iruka sighed, he missed Ibiki and he WOULD get Ibiki to take him back somehow.

Iruka sat under a tree in the training area watching the genin train while grading their papers. Kurenai was teaching advanced blocking moves, her team was being used as ‘examples’ for her blocks, much to the amusement of the students.

Raidou came and sat quietly under the tree beside Iruka, he just watched the training for a few minutes then sighed, “I’m sorry.”

Iruka looked over at him in surprise.

Raidou plucked a blade of grass and began shredding it, looking at his hands while he talked. “I shouldn’t have interfered, I didn’t want you to think I’d did it because you couldn’t defend yourself… I have… problems with people behaving like that… my dad was a very ‘aggressive’ person… and when I saw Genma holding your arm like that…”

Raidou looked up and sat quietly watching the students. Raidou had that scar across his cheek for as long as Iruka had known him, suddenly it occurred to Iruka that it was quite old, much like his own scar across his nose… it had probably happened when he was a child.

Iruka placed his hand on Raidou’s arm. “Thank you. Thank you for trusting me… I understand.”

Raidou nodded, then got to his feet. “Maybe I’ll see you later?”

Iruka smiled, “Yes, you will see me later.” As Raidou walked away his fluid stride brought to mind the flowing gate of Tiger, one of the ANBU that Iruka saw often around ANBU HQ… if that was true that would place him as one of the 12 top ANBU, the elite that were given the most important high ranking solo missions. 

Kakashi was Dragon. Raidou was one of the few people who hadn’t looked at him differently once it had become known he was voluntarily ‘involved’ with Ibiki.

Suddenly Iruka saw the quiet nin in a whole new light. Raidou often sat quietly at Kakashi’s left… Kakashi’s ‘blind side’, they sometimes seemed to communicate without words… as if they knew what the other was thinking… and Iruka had never seen Raidou date anyone. 

Iruka finished grading the papers and returned to the school. Genma wasn’t anywhere around and Iruka was glad, he didn’t want to test out his new vow to ‘remove parts’.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
CHAPTER 4:

IBIKI:

Ibiki grinned, the initial report had drew a flair of temper and a vow that someone will be playing with him soon… but the end, too funny! 

Iruka’s little show down with Genma was quite entertaining… Ibiki felt a surge of fondness; his little dolphin had quite the temper… threatening to remove parts of Genma’s anatomy if he touched him again.

Kakashi and Raidou seemed to be keeping a pretty close eye on Iruka; probably to minimize Ibiki’s involvement… they knew he’d have went after Genma if Iruka had been harmed. 

Try though he may, Ibiki just couldn’t separate himself from his emotions when it came to Iruka… all he could do is stay away from him, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t seriously hurt anyone who harmed Iruka in anyway. He should’ve never let that first kiss Genma stole from Iruka to go unpunished and if he didn’t think it would cause Iruka to come storming in here he’d have fixed the problem long ago.

All in all Ibiki felt he’d pretty much tamped down on his temper about Iruka’s ‘activities’, it helped that no one was currently ‘courting’ Iruka. There came a soft knock at the door. “Enter.” Ibiki acknowledged.

Hawk was at the door, she was amused and her eyes glittered with malice, she’d been ‘intimate’ with Wakimaeru and she was walking a thin line between duty and insubordination…. In other words she had a serious attitude problem. “Sir, I thought I’d report this… ‘update’ myself… seems Umino Iruka is getting ‘busy’ in front of HQ… would you like pictures?!”

Ibiki eyes hardened, but his voice was calm, “No that won’t be necessary, but I would like to talk to him when he’s finished out front.” 

“My pleasure.” Hawk grinned maliciously and turned to go.

“Oh, and Hawk… say hello to Wakimaeru for me, tell him I’ll never forget our special time together.” Ibiki mocked.

Hawks grin faded, her jaw clenched. “Yes sir.”

“That will be all.” Ibiki stated dismissing her. Hawk nodded and left. Ibiki was furious; it was time to let Hawk go… and Iruka, damn… he knew what Iruka was doing but it didn’t make Ibiki any less enraged.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
IRUKA:

Iruka was glad the day was over; Iruka stopped at Ichiraku’s Ramen and ordered some ramen to take home. Iruka had a lesson plan to draw up for the following week and this way he wouldn’t have to cook. Wakimaeru approached him and sat beside him as he waited for his order.

“You’re Ibiki’s ‘friend’… Genma told me about you.” Wakimaeru said. Iruka didn’t like the way Wakimaeru was looking at him; he gave Wakimaeru a dirty look and started to get up. 

“Heard he cut you loose… decided you weren’t good enough anymore.” Wakimaeru taunted. Iruka froze.

“I think we should have a little fun with Ibiki…” Wakimaeru’s oily voice enticed. Iruka turned his eyes flashing. “Whoa!” Wakimaeru put his hands up in surrender. “Nothing that would hurt him… physically that is.” He gave Iruka a cruel smile. “Just a little ‘poke’ at him… let me kiss you in front of the ANBU HQ tonight at dusk.”

Iruka knew this was petty… foolish, wrong… he would be using Wakimaeru, and allowing Wakimaeru to use himself, to injure Ibiki… but he couldn’t think of another way. Iruka had to make Ibiki see that he loved, and needed, Iruka… perhaps if Ibiki thought he was loosing Iruka it would convince him. 

Iruka knew he was a fool… and that he was desperate enough to do it anyway. It would work… it had to. Iruka balked at kissing a stranger but who could else could he get… who else would be foolish enough to take the chance, angry enough to not care that they’d enrage Ibiki.

Iruka nodded. Wakimaeru smiled, a small vengeful flash of teeth. “Meet me here at dusk.” Then Wakimaeru got up and walked away. 

Iruka tried to think of any other way… he even briefly entertained the thought of going “missing” for a few days. Then Ibiki would have to question him on his ‘return’, but he didn’t want everyone to always hold it in the back of their minds that he was a traitor. 

No, this was the only way… so Iruka showed up at dusk and to fulfill his end of the deal, walking beside Wakimaeru down to in front of the ANBU HQ. 

Iruka leaned in and kissed Wakimaeru passionately, Wakimaeru’s hands came down to cup Iruka’s body to his, roaming lightly over Iruka’s body. 

Iruka stiffened he didn’t think he could do this… he didn’t want anyone touching him like that except Ibiki. Wakimaeru ended the kiss and nuzzled Iruka’s ear, whispering, “That ought to piss him off, let me know if there’s anything else I can do.”

Iruka nodded, and watched Wakimaeru walk away… Iruka blinked and there were two ANBU standing beside him. “You have balls… Ibiki would love to see you.” The Hawk admonished, it had a high airy voice. The other, a Bear, said nothing. 

The ANBU made no move to escort or insist he come, just turned and walked into the building leaving it up to him to follow or not. For a moment Iruka hesitated, Ibiki was going to be furious, Iruka’s chin came up. Good may be this will make Ibiki stop denying and admit he wanted him. Iruka followed. 

The Bear disappeared as they entered the building and the Hawk continued down to Ibiki’s office opening the door and closing it after Iruka walked through.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IBIKI:

“WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!” Ibiki roared, his voice a rough growl. “Baiting me…”

“Trying to prove to you that you need me.” Iruka answered stubbornly.

“I know I need you!” Ibiki said harshly.

Iruka stared, had Ibiki just admitted he needed him?!

Ibiki’s eyes were fierce, “YOU don’t need me!” Ibiki rumbled his voice lowering to normal volume. “What you want… it’s just not possible. We do not have a healthy relationship! I CAN NOT form healthy relationships.”

Iruka’s eyes grew hard, his body stiffened, “Happily ever after isn’t the same for everybody…” he hissed in frustration. “Remember it was you who sent Anko to ME because she needed someone to cause her pain… and I came to YOU. You were NEVER my captor, I chose to allow you to hurt me!” 

“What you and Anko do is different…” Ibiki replied coldly, “I sent her to you to learn how NOT to damage herself!” Ibiki’s eyes glittered viciously. “I sent you to the hospital once, and you had to be healed my a med nin another time.” Ibiki snarled caustically.

“Answer me this…” Iruka’s gaze was savage. “Did I ever ask you to stop? NO! Would you have stopped if I asked you?”

“I don’t know.” Ibiki replied, he was having a hard time maintaining his icy reserve and restraining his temper.

“I do. I never asked.” Iruka’s temper cooled. “You’re not the monster you think you are…”

“How can you say that?” Ibiki taunted, his face unforgiving. “I torture people, take them apart piece by piece until they beg to die.”

Iruka’s gaze was firm, “If not you than some one else would have to do it.”

Ibiki gave Iruka a cruel smirk. “I ENJOY IT.”

“I’m so glad.” Iruka replied sarcastically. “But that has nothing to do with our relationship.”

“It has EVERYTHING to do with our relationship.” Ibiki corrected curtly.

“Fine! Then tell me how many of them do you hold, kiss… say affectionate loving things to?!” Iruka challenged his eyes imploring Ibiki, begging to hear him say he loved him.

“Depends.” Ibiki replied with heartless cruelty. He could see Iruka flinch at his cruel jibe just like he intended, it hurt Ibiki to cause Iruka such misery but he had to stop him. “How do you even know I meant any of what I said, words are just another way to torture, look how well it worked on you.”

Ibiki hated himself at the excruciating pain that was in Iruka’s eyes, but his words were partly true. It had all been a game, Iruka no more than a toy for his amusement… but somewhere during this ‘game’, he couldn’t even say where, he began lying to himself… he’d started to care for Iruka… love him.

“I see.” Iruka said, his posture rigid, his voice toneless… but it didn’t hide the fact that deep inside he was broken… nothing Ibiki had ever done physically had hurt him as deeply as Ibiki’s words just did. “Good bye” 

Iruka’s words had an absolute sound to them… it should’ve made Ibiki satisfied, he’d finished it for good… Ibiki didn’t anticipate the pain those words caused him.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

It was over, really over… Genma had been right all along, Ibiki never cared. Everything he’d thought, everything he believed, was a lie. 

Iruka was numb, he walked into the missions office and put in all his leave time, and a request for them to reassign his duties on the mission desk. Then walked home, he didn’t care if Genma found him, nothing mattered anymore… he went in swinging his door shut and taking off his kunai. Closed all his windows and drew the shades. 

Then he lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, he was too hurt to cry, too hurt to care about anything. Days blended together… Iruka heard Asuma knock several times but just didn’t care anymore, he just wanted to be alone. The only time he got up was to use the restroom and after a few days he didn’t even need to get up for that anymore.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

He hadn’t seen Iruka in almost a week, the missions office said he had went on vacation… but as the days passed with no one hearing from Iruka alarm bells went off in Kakashi’s head. Kakashi hoped down from the tree limb next to Asuma.

“Heard anything?” Kakashi studied Asuma, with seeming indifference.

Asuma gave Kakashi a worried look, “His home’s all closed up like he went away but… I just can’t believe he wouldn’t say anything to me.”

Kakashi nodded and leapt into the trees headed to Iruka’s home rapidly, it all wasn’t right, nothing added up. Kakashi perched outside Iruka’s living room window; he’d apologize later if he were wrong. 

Kakashi popped the latch and hopped inside, his feeling of dread grew. “Iruka?” Kakashi walked into the bedroom, at first he didn’t see Iruka, the room was so dark and Iruka’s breathing so light his chest barely moved. 

Kakashi cussed, his heart leaping into his throat as he crossed and gathered Iruka. Iruka was lighter than a small child; his pulse was rapid and faint, Kakashi kicked open the bedroom window and leapt quickly out into the trees praying he wasn’t too late.

Contrary to popular thought it took a long time to die of starvation, but not long to die of dehydration and before that came convulsions and brain damage… most people don’t live longer than six days, as far as his estimates Iruka hadn’t had anything for at least a week. 

When Kakashi leapt from the trees in front of the hospital, med nin were already waiting. Several of the scouts around town had reported as soon as Kakashi was spotted carrying someone. The med nin took Iruka from Kakashi and rushed him into the hospital.

Kakashi was shaken, he sat on the bench in front of the hospital. Raidou walked up and sat on the bench, “What stage?” he asked quietly.

Kakashi looked over solemnly, “Four… possibly five, I couldn’t be sure.”

Raidou nodded, stage five was fatal, irreversible… final. At that point the organs were shutting down, the brain was damaged by the diminished oxygen.

“He was cold and I could barely find a pulse.” Kakashi said quietly. Raidou nodded, they’d seen many people die on missions… but this was different, worse… and not something even seasoned nin could face without horror. 

Kakashi sighed deeply and got up from the bench. Raidou rose and they walked silently down to the bar… it would be at least several hours before anyone would know if Iruka would survive, or if he’d suffer long term damage, even with Lady Tsunade and the best med nins working on him. Kakashi had no doubt the ANBU med nins were there now… trying to save him.

Kakashi felt a wave of bitterness, Iruka was a good man. A good man who fell in love with the wrong man… and everyone wondered why he had a “one time only” policy, except for Raidou… but he was almost as damaged as Kakashi. 

One day he’d loose Raidou, or Raidou would loose him… and it would be one more scar on their heart as they continued on, they both had lost many lovers… it’s just the way life was, the way it would be until their life was ended. 

It was one of the reasons Kakashi and many of the other ANBU cherished the villagers… and especially Iruka. He was the peace and happiness they desired but could never have, the reason they did their dangerous jobs was to protect him and all the others like him, provide a safe place for them.

Kakashi and Raidou sat quietly and drank, neither needing to say what they both were thinking. Iruka’s death would feel like a betrayal of their purpose, like they had failed to protect him. The only ray of hope was that if Kakashi had found him in time, there was a good chance he could recover completely, the room had been cool so he hadn’t lost any water to perspiration… “Damn” Kakashi sighed. He hated to get his hopes up. 

Neither nin was surprised when Ibiki sat down and poured a drink without a word, he didn’t bother to hide the pain in his eyes. The three of them drank silently and watched the clock, with every hour that passed the mood grew more strained, by the third hour they all exchanged glances and got up to go back to the hospital.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IBIKI:

Ibiki was worried, although it didn’t show, he hadn’t heard ANYTHING about Iruka since the night of their last argument. Ibiki knew that technically it should be good… but after some checking up he’d found no record of Iruka leaving the village… how could he be on vacation inside the village and have NO ONE see him.

Ibiki couldn’t shake this feeling something was wrong, Kakashi walked in. “Something’s wrong.” 

Ibiki nodded, “Find him.”

Kakashi left and Ibiki tried to reassure himself Kakashi would find Iruka, he’d probably ‘bedded down’ with a lover somewhere… but Ibiki knew he didn’t.

When the report came that Kakashi was rushing someone to the hospital Ibiki’s heart leapt into his throat he got up, his med nin were already waiting, and they ran out the door. Ibiki didn’t care who saw the terror on his face all that mattered was getting to the hospital immediately.

When they arrived, the hospital was in an uproar, people where scrambling everywhere. Ibiki nodded for his Med Nin to join whatever treatment was happening in the main triage area. Then reached out halting a frantic young nurse, she burst into tears and Ibiki tried to give her a smile. “Relax”

The young girl took a big raspy breath, her tears less pronounced, “It’s Iruka!” she yelped, then bust into tears again. Ibiki walked away from her, finally snagging a calmer, although very pale, young med nin. He looked frightened and Ibiki growled, he didn’t have the patience to coddle these children. 

“Iruka!” Ibiki snapped at him, the med nin just nodded with round frightened eyes. Ibiki had to restrain himself from slapping the boy to try to jump start some of the idiot’s brain cells, it probably would just make him cry and Ibiki would have to find yet another. “WHAT HAPPENED?!” Ibiki rumbled, fighting the urge to yell.

“Dehydration…” the med nin stated his voice strained, Ibiki released his uniform realizing he’d lifted the boy several inches off the floor.

“Stage?” The boy looked at Ibiki blankly, and Ibiki swore he was going to shake it out of him. “What stage?!”

The boy flinched. “Four… Five… I don’t know.” He squeaked, looking like he was going to burst into tears. Ibiki turned away from him scanning for anyone more knowledgeable, there was a hell of a difference between four and five, and he needed to know what stage Iruka was at.

The front desk nurse waved him over calmly, “Stop scaring the kids. What do you want to know?” She had an air of impersonal efficiency about her.

“What stage is Iruka?” Ibiki demanded.

“Looks like late stage four.” Ibiki must have had a stricken look on his face because her tone softened slightly. “Look we won’t know… it’s touch and go right now, we won’t have any answers for a few hours. He’s got the best working on him. Go home, come back in a few hours…”

Ibiki turned and walked out the door. He knew… hell, he’d seen it happen dozens of times, prisoners often used that method to try to escape the pain… some even succeeded. 

The sunken eyes, loose papery skin, cracked lips… and it was Iruka. If it was stage four he was recoverable, no damage… it would turn around quickly, he’d be weak for a while but nothing damaged. Stage five… death, they would only be able to prolong the inevitable, his brain would be too damaged by lack of oxygen and his organs would shut down.

Ibiki walked down to the bar and joined Kakashi and Raidou. Ibiki knew Kakashi would be here, and that Raidou would be by his side. They silently drank, each lost in their own thoughts. 

Ibiki remembered the shattered look in Iruka’s eyes when he’d told him it was all a lie… why hadn’t he kept an eye on him. Ibiki was so busy trying to deny his own pain that he’d selfishly ignored the damage he’d done… he may have cost Iruka his life all because he lacked the control to stop as soon as he realized Iruka loved him… and now that he may loose Iruka forever, all he could think about was Iruka’s eyes, the love and acceptance… 

Time finally came to face the damage he’d done, Ibiki rose from the table and Kakashi and Raidou followed. They walked down the street to the hospital unwilling to look each other in the eyes and see the fear, the knowledge that Iruka may already be dead.

Entering the hospital, not knowing if Iruka was dead or alive, was one of the hardest things Ibiki had to do in his life. Lady Tsunade came out and gave a tired smile at Kakashi. “Good job. He’s going to be fine now…” Her gaze traveled to Raidou, then rested on Ibiki, it turned hard and cruel. “Nothing was seriously damaged.” She looked away, her jaw tightening. 

Asuma hurried up joining the group anxiously. Lady Tsunade gave him a kind look. “A few days rest and he’ll be fine, if it wasn’t for his malnutrition he’d be up and walking by tomorrow, but he’ll need to stay in bed a bit longer… until I can be sure he’s strong enough to get up without taking the chance of falling… he has no fat, no body mass, if he fell now he’d break a bone.” Asuma nodded, his tension easing.

Lady Tsunade looked gaunt herself, she’d obviously put more chakra into the healing than she should. “I’ve got to make an announcement to all the worried villagers… and then I’m going to rest.” She gave a small tired smile. “It was close.” She looked at Kakashi, leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you.” she whispered.

Tsunade gave a last warm smile to Asuma and Raidou and left. Ibiki watched her leave, she blamed him… he didn’t disagree, he blamed himself too, all this was caused by him. Kakashi, Raidou, and Asuma drifted out of the hospital together.

Ibiki couldn’t go, his eyes glued to the door that hid Iruka from him. He needed to see Iruka, to see for himself that he was alive, to feel him breathing… Ibiki approached the door and the front desk nurse swept down on him, “Oh no... no, no, no… no one is allowed to visit, he’s got to rest.”

Ibiki looked at her a moment… defeated, tired… “I have to see Iruka… I won’t wake him.”

The front desk nurse looked at Ibiki a moment, and then nodded, “Just for a minute, DON’T TOUCH HIM.”

Ibiki nodded and walked into the room. Iruka was as pale as the sheets he lay on and so very thin… Ibiki walked up and watched him breathing. He’d done this… he’d been the reason Iruka almost died. “Iruka…I’m not worth it.” Ibiki whispered. 

Ibiki had never known love like Iruka’s… he’d raised his brother alone, and when Idate betrayed the village he’d lost the only trace of the normal life he’d had, any chance at knowing the warmth of unconditional love.

Ibiki couldn’t resist brushing Iruka’s cheek softly, “I love you.” Then Ibiki turned and left. 

Back at his home Ibiki looked around at the empty walls, all this seemed so meaningless so hopeless… how had he lived like this, empty, for so long… just existing, his only purpose to cause pain… to break people… a soulless tool. 

For the first time since Idate ran away Ibiki felt loneliness… the need to have someone care if he was alive, to know him and want him to be happy… and the desire to see someone he loved happy.

Ibiki couldn’t stay here in this empty apartment when everything he wanted, everything he cared about, lay in that hospital bed. Ibiki showered, changed and returned to the hospital. Somehow, someway he’d make this work… he couldn’t loose Iruka.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

Iruka opened his eyes and looked around, he was so tired and everyone kept talking, why couldn’t they go away… he didn’t want to see anyone, he just wanted them to leave him alone so he could go back into that peaceful sleep again. His eyes closed, so tired… 

The next time he opened his eyes the people were gone, he glanced around, this wasn’t his room… how did he get here? The sun was so bright. It was too much work to keep his eyes open…

Voices. Iruka frowned and opened his eyes, the room was mostly in shadow now, he looked around. Hospital… he was in the hospital… what happened? 

Iruka could hear the voices outside his door, and then he recognized Kakashi’s voice, a second later he heard Ibiki speak and everything came rushing back. Iruka turned his face away from the door, why didn’t they just leave him… he didn’t want to see anyone… he didn’t want to remember this pain, sleeping was so nice… no pain.

The door opened and Iruka refused to look, maybe if he didn’t speak they’d go away. “That won’t do any good…” Ibiki’s voice was lightly mocking. “I know you’re awake.”

“Go away” Iruka rasped, his throat hurt and after a moment his voice was stronger. “Just leave… I don’t want you here.”

Iruka felt the gentle brush of fingers along his cheek, “Stop…” the pain washed over Iruka like it would swallow him, and tears trailed down his cheeks. “Leave… don’t touch me… just leave.”

Ibiki sat on the edge of the bed the mattress dipped under his weight and Iruka’s hip slid to rest against him. Iruka stiffened, “Why won’t you leave me alone?” Iruka pleaded.

Ibiki leaned over him, Iruka could feel the brush of his warm breath on his cheek, Ibiki whispered, “I can’t.” 

Iruka flinched, “I can’t be your toy anymore, there’s nothing left I’m empty.”

Ibiki’s breath tickled Iruka’s cheek as he sighed, “Little Dolphin.” Ibiki shifted on the bed, “Do you know what you do to me? You are all I can think about, every moment of every day. I had reports on where you were, what was happening around you… trying to fill my need for you… the empty spot that letting you go left in my life, you are not my toy.” 

Iruka begged, “Please… don’t. I can’t do this any more, I can’t…”

“Iruka.” Ibiki’s hand brushed Iruka’s cheek. “I can’t do this anymore either… I can’t pretend you don’t make me wild with passion… crazy with love.”

Iruka gave a small pained cry. “Your so cruel… please just kill me, it would be kinder.”

Iruka felt a drop hit his cheek, he turned his eyes wide and reached his hand up to Ibiki’s face, hesitantly tracing the moisture of Ibiki’s tear. 

“No. When I thought I’d lost you… even being tortured wasn’t as painful.” Ibiki’s eyes looked down sincerely at Iruka.

“Please don’t cry…” Iruka gave a little sad smile. “that’s my job.”

“Iruka we’ll make this work somehow…”

Iruka shook his head sadly, “Words, just words... ‘words are just another way to torture’.”

“You’re right… now mine are being used to torture me.” Ibiki stroked Iruka’s cheek, “Sleep little dolphin, rest. I will come back later.”

Iruka didn’t say anything just turned his face away. He heard the door open then quietly close. Iruka closed his eyes, why didn’t they just leave him…

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
CHAPTER 5:

KAKASHI:

Iruka was starting to be awake more now… what he’d done had taken a lot out of him, but it wasn’t just the dehydration. Kakashi hadn’t noticed how thin Iruka had become until he’d picked him up, Iruka felt like a bird just skin over fragile bones… 

Kakashi cursed himself, how could he have not noticed, Iruka had sat next to him at the bar and Kakashi hadn’t noticed the hollows under his eyes the fact his cheekbones were growing more pronounced… some observant nin he was, Iruka had been slowly dieing right in front of him and he never saw it.

Kakashi slipped into Iruka’s room and sat on the windowsill, he’d started do that the same night Iruka was admitted. Kakashi needed to see him, to watch him, he wasn’t going to let anything happen to him again… until he was better Kakashi would stay near. 

Kakashi heard Ibiki outside the door, Ibiki had been spending most of his time outside Iruka’s door… the staff didn’t want Ibiki ‘bothering’ Iruka. Kakashi didn’t have those limits, he never let anyone see him slip in or out… it paid being a top ANBU.

Ibiki was pretty upset by all this, Kakashi frowned. There wasn’t a solution to this… there was no denying Ibiki loved Iruka, and not the same way as Kakashi and many others did… 

Kakashi didn’t think Ibiki could’ve continued if he’d died. This wasn’t good… could Ibiki somehow form a healthy bond with Iruka? Or would this eventually end in tragedy, like it had came so close to this time.

Kakashi watched Iruka sleeping, Iruka had become so important to so many people… Kakashi couldn’t deny that Iruka had even worked his way deep inside his own heart. Kakashi couldn’t let him go any more than Ibiki… 

How had this happened? Somehow this gentle man had broken free so many of the emotions Kakashi had spent his life sealing away… opened his heart and now Kakashi couldn’t close it. Kakashi couldn’t fight it; he loved too deeply, too much… Iruka’s near death had torn a big hole in Kakashi’s heart and he couldn’t bear the thought of loosing anymore of the people he loved.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
IRUKA:

The next time he opened his eyes he saw Kakashi sitting in his windowsill, one leg dangling fearlessly down the outside of the window, reading one of his Icha Icha books. 

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Hey.”

Iruka watched Kakashi numbly.

“I can read to you” Kakashi winked and his face crinkled in a smile.

“No… thank you.” Iruka studied Kakashi. “Do you love Raidou?”

“Yes.” Kakashi answered immediately and smiled easily. 

“Then why… how could you sleep with me?” Iruka gave him a puzzled look.

“I love you too… there are many people I love.” Kakashi answered lightly, but his eye was very serious.

Iruka looked away, his eyes resting on the dolphins that lined the side of the room… toys, statues, paintings, even a very unique arrangement of flowers on the shape of a dolphin.

“You may need to get a bigger house to hold all of those.” Kakashi sounded amused.

“Who…” Iruka looked back at Kakashi bewildered.

Kakashi tilted his head, “The whole village… I’ll bet you can guess which is from Ino…”

Iruka couldn’t help but be hypnotized as Kakashi slid with sensual grace from the windowsill, crossing to sit on his bed beside him, his gaze shameless, a wicked glint in his eye. “I didn’t know what to bring you so you’ll have to settle with this.” He slid his mask down and brushed his lips gently over Iruka’s. Iruka reached up and looping his arms around Kakashi’s neck and deepening the kiss.

Kakashi blinked in surprise, then responded. When he drew back Iruka, smiled softly. “I liked your gift.”

Kakashi gave a mischievous smile his eye twinkling, “I could tell.” 

Iruka blushed and grinned. Kakashi drew his mask over his face again, but did not get up from the bed, his voice was lighthearted, easy. “Did you know you would die?”

Iruka’s eyes held a flash of pain but he did not look away, “No… but I wouldn’t have cared even if I had known.”

Kakashi nodded, “Asuma was here while you were sleeping, he didn’t want to wake you.” There was no judgment in his amiable tone.

“How long have I been here?” Iruka asked subdued.

“Two days… are you bored?” Kakashi teased. “I can lend you some of my Icha Icha books…”

Iruka blushed and laughed, “No, I don’t think I could read those without blushing… but thanks.”

Kakashi smirked, his face expressing his amusement even through the mask. “Let me know if you change your mind… I’ve got to go now.” Kakashi rose effortlessly, flashed a smile and walked out the door.

Iruka’s peace wasn’t for long as a young nurse came in to check on him, she flashed him a grin as she took his blood pressure and wrote it on a chart. “I’m glad you’re doing ok now, your friends sure turned this place upside down…” 

“Friends?” Iruka asked, Asuma must have been pretty upset… but he couldn’t picture him as ‘turning the place upside down’.

The girl tittered, “Yes, although I enjoy Kakashi’s visits now!”

“Kakashi… turned the place upside down?” Iruka asked in baffled tone.

The girl’s eyes grew big “Oh, no not him…” The girl’s eyes turned sad, “no, Kakashi brought you, you should’ve seen his devastated look… I swear you ripped his heart out…” then her voice grew animated, “but Ibiki! Oh man, he had everyone running scared he was so upset… he actually picked Haiiro up off his feet!” The girl grinned, “you sure got some interesting friends!” She waved and went out the door. 

Ibiki was upset? Kakashi was devastated… was he in some odd alternate reality? Why would either of them care? Oh he knew Kakashi said he loved him but he was just being flirtatious… and Ibiki… how many times did he dream of hearing him say he loved him… now he had, but it was a lie. 

Iruka sighed and looked out the window, he was beginning to miss sleeping all the time… he hoped Ibiki had decided to move on to playing with someone else’s heart… his couldn’t take anymore. Tears slid down Iruka’s cheeks and he wiped them away… he missed sleeping. Iruka closed his eyes, but sleep just wouldn’t come.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IBIKI:

The hospital staff didn’t want him ‘bothering’ Iruka… Ibiki knew they’d probably been given orders to limit the amount of time he spent with Iruka… Lady Tsunade was not happy he was visiting, but she couldn’t stop it entirely.

Kakashi slipped into the room again, Ibiki felt a little bit better when Kakashi was watching over Iruka… Kakashi probably didn’t even know he knew. Kakashi always spent long hours in watching over Iruka, and finally Ibiki relaxed and went home, confident Kakashi would protect Iruka from harm.

Ibiki changed and went in to ANBU HQ, like it or not he still had a job to do… luckily no ‘guests’ to visit, he didn’t think he could do it, which was a seriously disturbing thought. 

The reports and mission assignments had piled up in just the past 12 hours and they helped keep Ibiki’s mind from thinking about Iruka lying in the hospital. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

Iruka heard a soft tap on the door and stiffened, “Hey Iruka… ya' awake?” Asuma asked softly. 

Iruka turned his head toward the door, and smiled, “No.”

Asuma broke into a huge grin, “Damn I’m glad to see you!” Asuma’s eyes glittered with suppressed tears and Iruka felt tears run down his cheeks. “No! No, don’t cry Iruka!” Asuma hurried over to his side.

Iruka laughed, “don’t worry with as much liquids they’re pumping into me” he waved at the IV still dripping saline into him, “I can afford to loose a little.”

Asuma tried to smile, but it was sad, “Don’t ever do that again. If you’re that lonely I’ll give up woman and marry you but don’t EVER do that again.” His humor was strained.

Iruka crinkled his nose comically, “Ah no, you’re too hairy for me.. I’ll bet you don’t even need a blanket in the winter.”

Asuma mocked a hurt look, “I thought you liked kissing me!”

Iruka grinned, “You’re right that wasn’t too bad…”

Asuma laughed. “So when they leaving you out of this joint… I miss my breakfasts!”

“I’m not sure… I’m pretty tired, but I feel ok.”

Asuma looked serious for a moment, “I was thinking… there’s no sense in both of us having apartments… we could share…”

“I thought we just went over this… you’re too hairy for me.” Iruka mocked playfully, then his face sobered. “Thank you, but you don’t need to stay with me…”

“Hey, free cooking three times daily, you’d be doin’ me a favor!” Asuma teased, but his eyes were worried. 

Iruka shook his head sadly, “No”

Asuma smiled “Can’t blame a guy for trying!”

“I can’t blame you for anything… you’re a great friend.” Iruka got a mischievous smile, “come over here I’m going to kiss you again.”

Asuma snorted and grinned, “I’ll pass thanks.”

Iruka smiled, “What would I do without a friend like you?!”

The smile disappeared off Asuma’s face, “That’s just what I was thinkin’… I never been so scared in all my life.”

Iruka’s eyes teared “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Asuma forced a smile, “If you stop crying I’ll let you kiss me again.” he joked

Iruka whipped away his tears and smirked, “I’ll pass thanks.”

“So what are you going to do with all this mess?” Asuma asked waving at the mountain of dolphin items

Iruka laughed, “Well… not sure.”

“All the shop keepers in the area are probably thrilled with you right now! The merchants will probably name a day after you… or maybe you’ll get kickbacks from them…” Asuma wandered among the items picking up things looking at them and setting them back down. He gave Iruka a forlorn look, “why couldn’t they have given you food… I’d help you get rid of that!”

Iruka laughed so hard he had to gasp to catch his breath. “Do you ever NOT think with your stomach!”

Asuma blinked and gave Iruka an innocent look. “I have no idea what you mean.” Asuma squeezed a toy then placed in back of the pile. “Seriously though… would it have hurt anything to have given food… maybe some cookies or a nice cake.” Iruka threw a pillow at him, Asuma grinned. “It’s your fault for not feeding me.”

Iruka smiled, “Talking about feeding you, what day is it today?”

Asuma smirked, “Tuesday and I left my brats with Kurenai, she’s going to be ready to strangle me by the time I get back!” Asuma’s smile faded. “Take good care… I’d hug you but I’m afraid I’d break you. I’ll see you later.”

Iruka smiled and waved, Asuma walked out and Iruka’s smile disappeared, he really was sorry for scaring Asuma… and Kakashi. He still couldn’t believe Kakashi was really upset about his…

Iruka looked out the window, he hadn’t really been trying to die… but he hadn’t been trying to live either. Ibiki’s words still hurt, the shame of knowing he’d been nothing but a toy for Ibiki’s amusement… no, he couldn’t believe anything Ibiki said anymore, it was all just mind games… 

What had Asuma said all those months ago after the first night he’d ‘been with’ Ibiki? ‘The ultimate mind fuck’, yea it sure was, and it broke every little piece of him… even now Iruka wanted to crawl into a warm place curl up and go to sleep.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ASUMA:

Asuma walked out the door and nearly ran into Lady Tsunade. She was looking better than before, not as much stress on her face.

“Hey,” Asuma reached out placing a hand on her arm to get her attention then dropping it awkwardly, he may never get used to having a sexy woman hokage. “I was wondering… your not letting him go any time soon right?”

Tsunade looked adamant, “Not likely.” She replied with a touch of sarcasm. “He’s not going ANYWHERE until I know nothing like this will ever happen again!”

Asuma nodded, relaxing. Lady Tsunade smiled, “It will be ok, I promise he’s safe. Has Genma come to see him?”

Asuma frowned, “No, I told him to stay way… they haven’t worked out their differences yet and Iruka don’t need to get upset.” Asuma sighed and looked away to hide his distress, “I blame myself… why didn’t I go looking for him right away, I KNEW Iruka wouldn’t have left without telling me…”

Lady Tsunade placed her hand on his arm and replied firmly, “We ALL blame ourselves… but blame won’t help, so we need to focus on the future.” 

Asuma nodded, it didn’t alleviate his guilt but she was right that they needed to think about now and the immediate future instead. Lady Tsunade squeezed Asuma’s arm reassuringly, turned and walked into Iruka’s room.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

The door opened and Iruka jumped, “Mmm… sorry.” Lady Tsunade laughed. She walked over laying her hands on him, Iruka knew she was looking to see how his chakra was recovering and checking for ‘problems’, but he still blushed when she touched his waist above the hip bone. She noticed and smirked, “Nice to see I’ve still got it… I used to make all my patients blush when I was a new med nin.”

Her hands slid from his body and she gave him a worried, probing look. “So… what were you thinking?! Iruka the village would fall apart without you…” 

Lady Tsunade frowned. “Ibiki isn’t worth it… I should’ve found someway to end it before he hurt you… oh, and yes, I’ve seen your back. I’m so furious… If he wasn’t the interrogator… hell, I’d have him visiting the interrogator right now!” Lady Tsunade growled. 

Then she surprised Iruka by grabbing him gently and hugging him, he could feel her ample breasts squashed against him and he blushed. She loosened her grip and pulled back to look in his eyes “Damn it Iruka, DON’T EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN! I’ve lost too many people who are important to me…” Under the worry Iruka could hear her sorrow.

Lady Tsunade released him and stood straight once more. “YOU are important to the whole village,” she waved absently at the sea of dolphin gifts. “We need you! Am I making myself clear?!” She asked fiercely.

Iruka nodded and Tsunade’s frown lightened. “If we would’ve lost you… I truly think yours would’ve only been the beginning of many deaths… Ibiki was frantic… that sick bastard loves you and Kakashi, Raidou, Asuma… damn Iruka you’re loved by everyone… the whole village was in a uproar, we had to have nins stationed at the door to stop everyone from rushing in… how could you ever think…” Tsunade sighed, reining in her emotions. “Sorry…Okay, that’s enough…” 

Tsunade gave Iruka a pleasant look and friendly smile, but her next words chilled him. “Oh, and you’re not going ANYWHERE until I’m sure you won’t try something like that again.” The steel under her words and hard glint in her eyes was undisguised.

Iruka nodded. She’d given him a lot to think about. Lady Tsunade nodded satisfied, then kissed his cheek, “I can’t tell you how much you mean to me… to all of us.” She stepped back. “I am leaving now… I’m sending in food in a minute, I expect you to eat it… all of it.” She turned and went out the door. 

The rest of the day was an endless stream of visitors for Iruka and by early evening he was exhausted. When the door opened again he nearly groaned, Raidou walked in and sat quietly in the chair beside his bed, Iruka looked at him puzzled. Raidou simply sat there, waiting… watching him, his eyes were distressed.

“I’m glad you came.” Iruka said softly. Raidou nodded, then to Iruka’s surprise stood and wrapped his arms around Iruka holding him a moment. 

“Sleep.” Raidou said gently and released him. Then Raidou sat down once more, his eyes calm and serine. Iruka closed his eyes and slept. When Iruka woke Raidou was gone and the room was dark.

Iruka thought on the things people had said to him all day… he’d been selfish. No matter how badly he hurt, how badly he wanted to escape the sadness… the emptiness, he couldn’t. Too many people would be hurt by his action, too many… cared. 

Strangely this didn’t ease his pain, only added an additional burden… now he’d have to continue, to live with the hollow meaningless ache. Iruka thought of the pain in Raidou’s eyes, the pain in so many eyes… Asuma, Lady Tsunade… he felt guilty, he hadn’t meant to hurt anyone… Iruka cried until he fell asleep again.

Kakashi sat in the shadows silently watching, there wasn’t anything he could say that would help at this point… so he just watched and wished he knew what to say. When Iruka was asleep Kakashi moved over to sit beside him, just like Raidou had been when Kakashi had arrived.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

IBIKI:

He’d been kept out and turned away; an entire day had passed without his being allowed to see Iruka… Ibiki was frustrated, worried and frankly quite a bit angry. He would not allow them to prevent it for another day, when Ibiki walked into the hospital everyone scrambled… he was pretty sure he wasn’t hiding his ill temper very well.

Ibiki approached Iruka’s door and heard, “Mr. Mor…” Ibiki turned pinning the young nurse with a fierce glare, she blanched then squeaked timidly, “Please limit your visit to under a hour…”

“Yes, I know.” Ibiki replied sarcastically, “’he still needs rest’” He also knew that it was highly unlikely that Iruka was tired today, people recover very quickly from dehydration… as long as their wasn’t any ‘complications’… and that half the village had visited Iruka in the day he was not allowed in...

Ibiki pushed the door open and looked inside, Iruka was awake looking out the window.

Ibiki walked in. “Hello Iruka.” Iruka stiffened but didn’t look over. “Miss me?” Ibiki asked brazenly. He couldn’t help his sarcasm, it was a defense mechanism to keep people from getting too close… but Iruka he wanted to ‘get close’ so he added apologetically, “I know I missed you..”

Ibiki expected rejection, anger… not the apathetic reply he got.

“Hello Ibiki.” 

Iruka still hadn’t turned to look at him, and Ibiki walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, it was in his nature to push boundaries. Iruka didn’t seem to notice or care. Anger Ibiki could work with, even tears… but this lethargic, unfeeling Iruka had him confused.

Ibiki decided to push a bit further. This detached behavior wouldn’t help get the conversation, and words they both needed to say, started. Ibiki reached over cupping Iruka’s chin and turning Iruka’s face toward him. Then Ibiki kissed him passionately, firmly, making him respond. 

Iruka made a pained cry and pulled back, “Don’t do this… don’t, just stop, I swear this time I’ll cut a artery.” Iruka bowed his head sobbing, “Why won’t you leave me alone?”

Ibiki stilled, his breath caught at the pain in Iruka’s voice. 

Iruka would rather kill himself than be kissed by him. Ibiki got up and walked toward the door as he opened it he replied, “I can’t.”, then left.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

This was the third day of what Iruka was beginning to feel was his captivity… today they finally took that embarrassing catheter out and allowed him up. Iruka was supposed to use the call button before he got up so they could be sure someone was in the room to help him if he needed help back to the bed… he’d rather sit on the floor. 

Iruka was tired of people fussing with him… tired of the constant parade of visitors… tired of THIS ROOM! There was no telling how long he’d be kept here… the least they could’ve done is give him a different room than last time! 

Iruka knew he was being unreasonable, he just was so… frustrated. He’d tried everything he could to try to get Ibiki to leave him alone, but Ibiki just kept coming… 

Today was the worst, when Ibiki kissed him Iruka felt the desire rise up in him and struggled to remember this was merely a game to Ibiki… tease him into believing again and lead him on for another month or two… until Ibiki found someone new to ‘play’ with… the bitterness rose up in him. Iruka could try telling the hospital staff not to leave Ibiki in but he knew it wouldn’t do any good… nobody said ‘no’ to Ibiki.

Iruka sat on the bed looking out the window, wondering how long before Ibiki tried again today, tomorrow… as long as Iruka was here there wouldn’t be anyway to avoid Ibiki… and Lady Tsunade wasn’t about to release him any time soon. Iruka was healthy, although a bit thin, not really tired and just wanted to go home.

The knock at Iruka’s door was not greeted with much enthusiasm, Iruka turned his back to the door… at least it wouldn’t be Ibiki, HE didn’t knock… as if to say why wouldn’t Iruka be thrilled to see him… Iruka gave a frustrated sigh, it wouldn’t be Kakashi either… he just appeared, Iruka would turn around and find him sitting on the windowsill like he’d been there all along. 

Iruka felt a hand on his shoulder and stiffened, not Asuma either, Asuma always asked before he came in… the hand rubbed his neck and Iruka caught his breath in fear, slowly turning.

“Hey Iruka.” Genma said, his hand dropping from Iruka’s neck. 

Iruka’s eyes grew wide, “Why are you here?” he rasped softly.

“I was worried about you… why wouldn’t I be here?” Genma replied.

Iruka shrugged and looked back out the window. ‘Why wouldn’t he be here…’ guess that’s true, they didn’t keep Ibiki away and he didn’t want to see him… why would they keep Genma away?

“Iruka?”

“Yes.” Iruka answered listlessly. 

“I… you know I care about you…” 

“You care about me..” Iruka repeated flatly. Iruka distractedly stared out the window, if another person said that to him he was going to scream… like that changed anything, ‘they cared’… fantastic, gee, that makes everything all better. “Then get me out of here.” Iruka stated sarcastically.

“Ok… you’re going to need some clothes.” Genma said, half to himself, thinking. 

Iruka turned and looked at Genma in surprise. Genma was going to try to get him out of here? Dare he hope? “You’re going to get me out of here?”

“Sure…” Genma shrugged, “if you’re up out of the bed you must be better.”

The misguided escape attempt ended when Iruka noticed Kakashi had leapt smoothly in the window and crouched perched casually on the edge, he looked at Genma and then at Iruka, “You two weren’t planning anything were you?” Kakashi’s voice was light but his fiery gaze was drilling into Genma. 

“Um no… just discussing when he could get out of here.” Genma said looking away.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow mockingly, “Is that so?” Iruka had returned to dispiritedly looking out the window. “Mmmm… last time I checked Genma, you weren’t supposed to be here.” Kakashi’s voice took on a sharp edge.

“A… yeah, I was just going… just wanted to make sure Iruka was ok…” Genma said backing toward the door. Kakashi’s hard gaze followed him until he slipped out the door.

Kakashi turned his lazy gaze on Iruka. “Iruka you weren’t planning on leaving on me were you? I’d have been heart broken when I found you gone.” Kakashi’s flippant tone had a hint of sadness and Iruka looked over at him puzzled.

“Kakashi, why do you come?” Iruka asked in confusion.

Kakashi dropped lightly off the windowsill and looked at Iruka. “I told you, I love you.”

“Please stop saying that, why does everyone keep playing with my emotions!” Iruka cried forlornly.

“Why would you think I lie?” Kakashi asked lightly. His eye was intense, honest. “Have I ever been known to lie?”

Iruka looked at him perplexed, “No.” Then Iruka looked away, “That’s Ibiki’s job.”

Kakashi said nothing, his eye studying Iruka’s face, then he replied, “yes… but even liars tell the truth sometimes.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GENMA:

Asuma had told him not to come… like he’d just obediently listen… if he would have gotten to talk to Iruka earlier none of this would’ve happened. Iruka just needed to know Genma cared and that he’d take care of him… he didn’t have anything to worry about Genma would protect him… he didn’t need Ibiki messing with his mind… or damaging his body, Genma wondered if one of the med nin’s could do something about those horrific scars.

Genma knocked softly, then pushed the door open and entered closing it quietly behind him. Iruka was sitting on his bed looking out the window, his back toward the door. Iruka didn’t turn or say anything. Genma walked up and stood behind him, he reached out his hand and rubbed Iruka’s neck reassuringly.

Iruka stiffened and slowly turned his eyes wide in fear. Genma smiled, Iruka didn’t need to worry it wasn’t Ibiki. His hand slid off Iruka’s neck, “Hey Iruka.”

“Why are you here?” Iruka asked his voice low and rough. 

Genma gave him a kind look. “I was worried about you… why wouldn’t I be here?”

Iruka passively shrugged and looked out the window again. Genma was worried, were they drugging Iruka to keep him here? “Iruka?”

Iruka didn’t turn, “Yes.”

“I… you know I care about you…” Genma said resisting the urge to grasp Iruka’s arms and turn Iruka to look at him.

“You care about me..” Iruka repeated in a rote lifeless voice, then his voice turned bitter. “Then get me out of here.” 

They WERE keeping Iruka here… where Ibiki could come see him and Iruka couldn’t get away. “Ok… you’re going to need some clothes.” Genma decided if he got Iruka out of here he’d be able to keep him away from Ibiki. Genma would be able to hide him and protect him… but he needed to get him out of this room. Iruka needed clothes so they wouldn’t notice him when he left the room.

Iruka had turned to look at him a yearning, curious look on his face. “You’re going to get me out of here?”

“Sure…” Genma agreed shrugging nonchalantly “if you’re up out of the bed you must be better.”

Genma froze as Kakashi leapt in and squatted on the windowsill his cold eye piercing Genma; he glanced at blankly Iruka then his savage glare returned to Genma. “You two weren’t planning anything were you?” 

Genma swallowed hard. “Um no…” Genma squirmed unable to meet Kakashi’s eye. “just discussing when he could get out of here.” 

“Is that so?” Kakashi’s sarcastic words said he knew better. “Mmmm… last time I checked Genma, you weren’t supposed to be here.” Kakashi’s voice had an aggressive note. Genma quickly backed toward the door “A… yeah, I was just going… just wanted to make sure Iruka was ok…” Genma slipped out into the hallway, the door closing after him. 

Genma growled, “Bastard. Why is he always messing with me and Iruka?!” If they’d all stay out of it Genma could convince Iruka that he could make him happy, that he’d take care of him.”

With a final angry cuss, Genma turned and stalked out of the hospital.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
CHAPTER 6:

ASUMA:

Asuma missed Iruka, it’s odd how much of his day revolved around their friendship… meeting Iruka for breakfast, dropping in to see him during the day at the academy, seeing him on the mission desk, drinking with him at the bar… 

It never seemed like Asuma saw Iruka that much until he wasn’t around. Now… everything seemed changed, not as… pleasant, like all the warmth was missing. Iruka was the bright spot in so many people’s lives… without his cheer everyday tasks dragged on tediously.

Genma had wanted to meet him here to talk, Asuma walked into the bar, it was relatively early so it was nearly empty and Asuma had no problem spotting Genma. Asuma frowned Genma was already drinking and Asuma briefly wondered how many he’d had already. As Asuma sat he was relieved to see Genma was only sipping at his drink, more for something to do with his hands than for the alcohol content, he looked upset.

“Hey Genma.” Asuma poured a small amount of the sake into his cup and waited for Genma to talk.

“Hey, thanks for coming… I’m worried about Iruka…” Genma shifted leaning back in his seat.

Asuma raised an eyebrow. Who wasn’t? But he was sure that wasn’t the point.

“I just can’t seem to get a chance to talk to him…” Genma sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Nothings been right between the Iruka and I since he started letting Ibiki… why can’t he see that all those bastards do is play with him?”

“Bastards?” Asuma inquired calmly.

“Ibiki and Kakashi… neither of them care for him…” Genma cast a confused frustrated look at Asuma. “Why does he keep going back? I’d care for him, I’d treat him a lot better than they do!”

Asuma grunted. “What makes you think he wants anyone to take care of him?” He asked quietly.

Genma gave Asuma an odd look, “Why else would he let them treat him like their bitch?”

Asuma froze. He normally didn’t have a hard time controlling his temper but… Asuma took a calming breath and reminded himself Genma was a bit ‘abrasive’ sometimes but he was a good man inside.

Genma didn’t seem to notice Asuma’s irritation at his words and continued unaffected… “What did I do so wrong? Hell, Iruka and I used to be so close before this Ibiki mess.”

Asuma just looked at Genma blankly for a moment, trying to find the words that would make Genma understand, the problem wasn’t Ibiki or Kakashi…

“Genma why do you care for Iruka?” Asuma asked blandly.

Genma was confused. “Well, he just seems to need someone like me.”

“Why ‘like you’?” Asuma inquired.

“He needs some one to take care of him, love him… I’m not sure I love him but I know I care about him a lot more than Ibiki and Kakashi.” Genma finished his drink and poured another.

“How do you know that?” Asuma’s voice was carefully toneless.

Genma’s face darkened in anger. “I wouldn’t beat him!” Genma declared vehemently.

“Even if he asked you to?” Asuma’s gaze was challenging.

Genma looked distressed “That’s just sick, no, I’d explain that’s not normal and…”

Asuma impassively stated. “You’ve dated Anko… is she ‘not normal’?”

Genma laughed, “yeah she’s freaky but…”

Asuma pinned him with a penetrating glance, “Have you ever tied her up?”

“Well… yeah but she asked me to… ah, man it’s not the same thing!” Genma sputtered, his brow wrinkling in distress.

Asuma’s lips curved slightly. “Are you sure?”

Genma frowned, he sat sipping his drink for a few minutes, “You’re trying to tell me you don’t think it was wrong Ibiki whipped him?”

Asuma shrugged dismissively. “Iruka asked him to… was it wrong for you to tie up Anko?”

Genma gave Asuma an indignant look. “But tying her up doesn’t leave scars!”

“Do you have a tattoo?” Asuma questioned pointedly.

Genma looked wary. “You know I do.”

“Why did you let a stranger scar you?” Asuma confronted Genma firmly.

“It’s not scarring…” Genma protested stubbornly.

Asuma artfully provoked Genma. “Why? Because he put ink in the scar? Why did you get a tattoo?”

“It’s kinda like a symbol… a reminder of something important that happened in my life.” Genma proclaimed proudly.

Asuma quirked a eyebrow, “Funny that’s how Iruka feels about his scars.”

“Ya’ but Ibiki don’t even love him!” Genma retorted fiercely.

Asuma gave him a serious look, “Did the man who did your tattoo love you?”

“No!” Genma’s disgruntled tone said he wasn’t happy with the path this conversation had taken 

“Does your tattoo mean less to you because the man who gave it to you didn’t love you?” Asuma pressed boldly.

Genma’s reply was hesitant. “No…”

Asuma sipped his drink and waited, but Genma seemed deep in thought, trying to process all the things Asuma had said. After a while Anko showed up, she was dragging a reluctant Ebisu with her. 

“Asuma tell him he needs to lighten up!” Anko laughed shoving Ebisu roughly into a chair and hopping on his lap. For a minute Asuma thought the nin was going to have a heart attack and he watched with interest as Ebisu went through several shades of red before all color drained from his face.

Asuma grunted and poured Ebisu a drink then placed it in his hand. Anko was just messing with him but the uptight nin was totally unprepared for her antics… give him time, if he choose to hang around with this group he’d get used to that and much more.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

He seemed to be spending an awful lot time balanced over one abyss or another Kakashi lamented. “Iruka you weren’t planning on leaving on me were you? I’d have been heart broken when I found you gone.” Kakashi kept his tone light.

He’d shown up just in time to hear the final part of Genma’s plan and he hadn’t been teasing when he said it would’ve broke his heart… A heart attack is a broken heart isn’t it? Seriously, he’d have been terrified… and hurt, although he wasn’t sure why.

Iruka’s sad doe eyes looked at him dejectedly. “Kakashi, why do you come?”

The plaintive note in Iruka’s tone pulled at Kakashi’s heart, he hopped off the windowsill and walked over to Iruka. “I told you, I love you.” Kakashi replied gently.

Iruka gave a pained cry. “Please stop saying that, why does everyone keep playing with my emotions!” He slumped miserably.

Kakashi gave Iruka an empathetic look. “Why would you think I lie?” he asked kindly. “Have I ever been known to lie?” Kakashi reassured him.

Iruka looked thoughtful. “No.” Then his gaze fell, “That’s Ibiki’s job.”

Kakashi was at a loss on how to help, the only thing that could make Iruka better was the one thing Iruka couldn’t no longer trust… Ibiki’s love. “Yes… but even liars tell the truth sometimes.” Kakashi fought the desire to hug Iruka his attachment to him was getting uncomfortably serious. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IBIKI:

Ibiki didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do. How could he convince Iruka that they could have a healthy relationship when he couldn’t even convince himself? Ibiki knew he had to try. Kakashi had been acting strange since he found Iruka, and what had been reassuring before was now taking on a different look. 

Kakashi and Raidou seemed to be getting pretty serious about Iruka, and Ibiki had to admit they were a healthier prospect for future happiness than he was… but he still hoped Iruka would learn to trust him again, learn to love him again. Ibiki needed Iruka’s love; his life was painfully empty without it.

Ibiki quietly entered Iruka’s room; Iruka was lying in the bed looking up at Kakashi who was sitting on the windowsill. Kakashi looked over as Ibiki entered, then gave understanding nod and leapt out the window to the trees.

“Is there anything I can get you?” Ibiki crossed the room to stand beside the bed; Iruka sat up and looked out the window. 

Ibiki frowned, “You’ve got to be getting pretty bored with this room… maybe some food, the hospital food is pretty bland I could run by Ichiraku’s or Amaguriama sweet shop… some tea?”

Iruka didn’t reply, he didn’t turn to look at Ibiki; he just sat stiffly looking out the window. Ibiki sat in a chair beside the bed, if Iruka didn’t want to talk… Ibiki would talk to him… there were so many things he wanted to say.

“I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t help… and that you don’t believe me. There’s nothing I could say to convince you how sorry I am that I hurt you… I really don’t know when it all changed from a game to me… but it did, I came to respect and cherish you more with every day… that scared me.”

Ibiki shifted in his seat, to anyone who knew him it would be obvious he was deeply uncomfortable talking about his feelings… but Kakashi would probably be the only one who would recognize the signs. 

“I don’t have much experience with being kind, loving… gentle… Hell, I have no experience… the only chance I had I screwed up so badly...” Ibiki sighed, he hated to think about how his failure to provide the love Idate needed had changed both their lives forever. 

“I raised Idate from a young boy, I wasn’t sure how to express love to him and so I didn’t… I stumbled along trying to replace our parents after their deaths… then he betrayed the village and was gone from my life…” Ibiki was looking past Iruka out the window, Iruka turned to look at him and then away. Ibiki had a flash of hope, Iruka was listening to him.

“But that doesn’t excuse the way I used you… I don’t know if I’m capable of… being gentle… or loving, but I would like to try…” 

“The physical pain wasn’t what hurt…” Iruka said softly, his voice hollow. 

“I do love you… wish I could say that was enough, but we both know it isn’t. I’ve destroyed your trust in me and no matter how I try you’ll always have the words I said to you in the back of your mind, you’ll always have that doubt…” Ibiki sighed. “Maybe you’re right maybe I should leave you alone… even if I do, I can’t stop loving you.”

Ibiki rose. “I’m giving you this chance, tell me to leave and I will… I just want one thing; promise me you won’t hurt yourself, no hiding away and dieing somewhere… I would rather die myself than have you do something like that. I’m asking you now, would you like me to go away, stay away from you?” Ibiki waited, as time passed without an answer Ibiki’s heart sank.

“Go away.” Iruka whispered.

Ibiki turned and left, it felt like a knife had stabbed through him… he was well aware how that felt, no this hurt worse. He’d lost him; Iruka had closed his heart to him. Ibiki knew he deserved this, all that he had done would never be forgiven… he’d failed just like he had with Idate.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

Kakashi watched as Ibiki left, he didn’t have to hear what happened he could see it written all over Ibiki’s face. Iruka rejected him, it was over. 

Kakashi perched outside the window hesitant to go in, he sighed sadly. Then schooled his face into a light-hearted, playful easygoing smile that belied his chaotic emotions and hopped in the window.

Iruka was still sitting on the bed, his head was bowed and Kakashi could tell he was crying. Kakashi’s playful façade disappeared and he jumped smoothly from the windowsill to sit beside Iruka, Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka’s frail body and held him wordlessly. 

Iruka laid his head on Kakashi’s chest and his body shook with his sobs. Kakashi sighed and rubbed Iruka’s back gently until Iruka’s sobs turned to sniffles. Iruka looked up at Kakashi, Kakashi smiled fondly at him, grabbed the tissues from the table beside the bed and handed Iruka one.

“Thank you.” Iruka took a shaky breath and wiped his face.

“You should rest now”, Kakashi soothed. “I won’t go anywhere, I’ll be right here.”

Iruka shook his head sadly, “I can’t sleep.”

Kakashi gave him a patient look, “Lie down...” Kakashi flashed Iruka a mischievous smile. “I’ll lie with you.”

Iruka gave a little smile but his eyes shone with unshed tears. “I’m not sure how you think that will make me sleepy.” Iruka teased bravely.

“Hmmm…” Kakashi said and lay back on the bed pulling Iruka back into his arms and holding him cradled gently. Iruka lay in the crook of Kakashi’s arm with his head on Kakashi’s chest. 

In minutes Iruka was sleeping, Kakashi relaxed looking down at Iruka’s soft brown hair. Kakashi’s nimble fingers untied the bind and released Iruka’s hair, it fanned softly around Iruka’s face making him look young and vulnerable, Kakashi stroked it gently away from Iruka’s face. 

They were so close in age and yet Iruka seemed so much younger, Kakashi smiled affectionately at Iruka’s sleeping form and reluctantly slipped from the bed. Perched in the windowsill once more he felt sorrow for Ibiki, he’d found love… but it was too late.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

Iruka was listening to Kakashi tell about one of Naruto’s early genin missions under his leadership when he felt Ibiki enter the room. Iruka didn’t have to even look he could feel the pull as his body picked up on the subtle clues and responded, Iruka’s breathing sped up… even when his heart did not trust him, Iruka’s body cried out it wanted him.

Kakashi looked up at Ibiki nodded and left.

“Is there anything I can get you?” Ibiki’s voice brushed over Iruka like warm velvet, making Iruka’s rebellious body tighten in desire.

As Ibiki walked closer Iruka sat up looking out the window trying the calm his body. 

“You’ve got to be getting pretty bored with this room… maybe some food, the hospital food is pretty bland. I could run by Ichiraku’s or Amaguriama sweet shop… some tea?”

Iruka continued to concentrate on the strip of the village he could see out his window.

“I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t help… and that you don’t believe me. There’s nothing I could say to convince you how sorry I am that I hurt you. I really don’t know when it all changed from a game to me… but it did, I came to respect and cherish you more with every day… that scared me.”

Iruka tightened his lips; he wanted to beg Ibiki to hold him, to tell him he loved him, he wanted so badly to believe his lies. Iruka needed Ibiki to leave before his resolve cracked. Ibiki was using him, nothing more. He didn’t really care about him. He didn’t love him… he didn’t even like him. Liking him would indicate some level of respect, affection…

“I don’t have much experience with being kind, loving… gentle… Hell, I have no experience… the only chance I had I screwed up so badly...” Ibiki sighed in sorrow. “I raised Idate from a young boy, I wasn’t sure how to express love to him and so I didn’t… I stumbled along trying to replace our parents after their deaths… then he betrayed the village and was gone from my life…” 

Ibiki seemed to really be in pain his voice deep with sorrow, Iruka quickly looked at him and then away… Ibiki was a master at these games; Iruka couldn’t believe anything he said he reminded himself bitterly.

“But that doesn’t excuse the way I used you… I don’t know if I’m capable of… being gentle… or loving, but I would like to try…” 

Iruka’s heart clenched, he wanted so badly to believe him. “The physical pain wasn’t what hurt…” Iruka stated mournfully.

“I do love you… wish I could say that was enough, but we both know it isn’t. I’ve destroyed your trust in me and no matter how I try you’ll always have the words I said to you in the back of your mind, you’ll always have that doubt…” Ibiki gave a hopeless, pained sigh. “Maybe you’re right maybe I should leave you alone… even if I do, I can’t stop loving you.”

Iruka’s breath caught, he heard Ibiki rise to his feet. If Ibiki touched him there would be no way he could resist, he wanted those arms wrapped around him… he wanted to know Ibiki loved him. Ibiki’s voice was grave. “I’m giving you this chance, tell me to leave and I will… I just want one thing; promise me you won’t hurt yourself, no hiding away and dieing somewhere… I would rather die myself than have you do something like that. I’m asking you now, would you like me to go away, stay away from you?” 

Iruka struggled with himself he wanted Ibiki; almost enough to let himself be hurt again, used and cast aside. Iruka stiffened and said the words, “Go away.” Iruka felt like he’d ripped out his heart even knowing it was the only thing he could do… he couldn’t be used by Ibiki again. 

The sound of the door closing was almost enough to make him jump out of bed and beg Ibiki to come back, to tell Ibiki he could do anything he wanted as long as Ibiki said he loved him.

Iruka hung his head his tears blurring his sight and his sorrow feeling like it was a void that was going to swallow him. He felt arms wrap around him and hold him and for a moment he thought Ibiki had returned, then he realized it was Kakashi and Iruka lay his head down on Kakashi’s chest his body shaking with the force of his sobs. Iruka felt Kakashi’s comforting strokes on his back and his sobs gradually lessened to a few tears and a case of the sniffles. 

Iruka looked up at Kakashi tentatively and Kakashi’s eye crinkled as he smiled affectionately and grabbed tissues for Iruka. Kakashi wasn’t as much of a self-centered egotist as he’d like everyone to believe, he actually had a very tender heart.

“Thank you.” Iruka’s breathing was ragged, catching softly as he took deep breaths trying to calm himself and wiped his face.

“You should rest now. I won’t go anywhere, I’ll be right here.” Kakashi’s serine voice soothed Iruka’s raw nerves.

“I can’t sleep.” Iruka replied, he was afraid his dreams would be of Ibiki.

Kakashi gave him a placating look, then smiled playfully. “Lie down... I’ll lie with you.” 

Kakashi’s eye sparkled wickedly and Iruka couldn’t help a little smile. “I’m not sure how you think that will make me sleepy.” Iruka gently mocked.

“Hmmm…” Kakashi lay down on the bed his arms enclosing Iruka warmly holding him gently snuggled against him with Iruka’s head lying on his chest. The sound of Kakashi’s heat beat soothed Iruka and Iruka gave a big shaky sigh and closed his eyes.

When Iruka woke up he looked for Kakashi and saw Raidou sitting in a chair next to the bed. Iruka thought about falling asleep on Kakashi’s chest and blushed, Iruka met Raidou’s eyes hesitantly. “I’m sorry, Kakashi was just…” Raidou rose and leaned over placing a soft kiss on Iruka’s lips, to still them. 

Then Raidou straightened and said tenderly, “I know.” Iruka looked meekly up at him a moment, surprised that Raidou had kissed him, then smiled comforted that he hadn’t offended his friend. 

Raidou’s voice was tranquil, “I know you want to get out of here, would you consider staying with us.” 

Us? Him and Kakashi?

“We got it approved by Lady Tsunade… if you would like…”

“Yes.” If it got him out of here he’d do almost anything, but it was also tempting because he genuinely liked Raidou, he’d always been a good friend. 

Raidou nodded calmly, but his eyes were happy and his lips curved slightly. “We can go by your apartment tomorrow and pack a few things.”

“Tomorrow? Please can’t we go now?” Iruka shamelessly pleaded, this room was a reminder of everything that had happened… and the decision he’d made.

Raidou’s lips twitched, as he tried to suppress his amusement, “It’s the middle of the night…”

“I can’t stand it here… please?” Iruka looked down and his hands a minute. “I’m sorry you’re right…”

Raidou placed his hand over Iruka’s, when Iruka looked up the amusement was gone Raidou’s gaze was understanding “We’ll go tonight… I’m going to inform the nurses to gather your things and prepare your discharge papers.”

Iruka gave Raidou a small grateful smile. Raidou walked out and Iruka looked around the room, there was nothing here he needed… the dolphin items would have to be moved to his apartment… he’d find something to do with them later. Why did people always buy stuffed toys for people in the hospital?

Raidou walked back in with Iruka’s clothes in his hands. Iruka took them and looked at Raidou curiously, “These aren’t the clothes I had been wearing when…”

Raidou nodded, “Asuma brought these from your house, so you would have something clean to wear when you left.” Raidou’s soft serene voice was so soothing, and Iruka knew he’d made the right choice going to stay with him… 

And Kakashi, butterflies fluttered in Iruka’s stomach, he wasn’t entirely sure about Kakashi… he was very kind and wise but every time he was near Iruka couldn’t help responding to him. Iruka would have to be careful of how he reacted to Kakashi; he didn’t want to upset Raidou. 

Iruka changed quickly, so very happy to get out of the loose cotton hospital pants and top… they made him feel naked, a very unpleasant feeling when your getting a constant parade of visitors.

Iruka walked out of the restroom happily, he never thought being in his own clothes could give him such a sense of normalcy… normal, what was his life going to be like now? How long would it be before he was allowed to go back to work? Iruka felt his heart speed up and a sense of panic wash over him, Iruka began to tremble, how could anything ever be normal again? It felt like something was crushing his heart and he couldn’t catch his breath.

Raidou placed his hand gently on Iruka’s shoulder, Iruka hadn’t heard him walk over and slowly his calming words started to trickle through the hammering of Iruka’s heart in his ears. “Iruka… deep breaths. It’s going to be ok… deep, slow breaths… good… everything is going to be ok…”

Raidou brushed Iruka’s cheek, “Are you feeling better now?” Iruka nodded, he blushed in embarrassment. 

“You still want me to come home with you… even if I’m loosing my mind?” Iruka asked sheepishly. 

Raidou smiled softly, “You’re not loosing your mind… just a panic attack, it’s not unusual for people who’ve been under stress.” He directed Iruka out of the room and for a moment Iruka hesitated in the door, this was it… the end of everything he’d had before, everything had changed. Raidou’s keen gaze watched him without judgment as Iruka took a deep breath and walked through the door.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
CHAPTER 7:

KAKASHI:

Kakashi raised his eyebrows in surprise… this was unexpected. He and Raidou had asked Lady Tsunade if Iruka could be released to stay with them, under the stipulation that he not be left alone until she cleared it… but Kakashi never guessed Iruka would wish to come here tonight.

Kakashi attempted to hide his stunned expression and met Raidou’s eyes, Raidou was amused... Kakashi knew Raidou loved it when he caught Kakashi by surprise, Raidou always looked so pleased with himself when it happened because it was so rare… now Kakashi had a different thing HE loved, he loved when he made the quiet nin cry out in passion and Kakashi was determined to at least get a gasp from him right now.

Kakashi rose lithely and stalked across the room with a devilish glint in his eyes. Kakashi could see by Raidou’s posture that he knew he was in for trouble. Kakashi stopped in front of Raidou and smiled a wicked smile. Then slid his hands slowly over Raidou’s chest and up his neck to cup his head. Kakashi leaned into Raidou, his body brushing lightly over his chest. 

Kakashi felt him catch his breath, as he nuzzled Raidou’s neck. Kakashi’s lips trailed up to Raidou’s jaw line and then traced Raidou’s lips slowly with his tongue before claiming them in a passionate kiss. Raidou moaned reaching down and molding Kakashi’s lean form to his. 

Kakashi slid from his grasp and gave him a taunting smile, “Raidou we have company…” Kakashi’s sly gaze traveled from Iruka’s red face to his obvious arousal. 

“Mmmm… I’m afraid I hadn’t gotten around to making up a bed for you yet,” Kakashi’s sultry gaze challenged Iruka, “Want to sleep in ours?” 

Raidou gave Kakashi an amused and patient look, then turned to Iruka. “I can make a bed for you on the couch until tomorrow if you’d like.”

“I…” Iruka was blushing so red Kakashi had sympathy on him.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable…” Kakashi said brushing Iruka’s cheek, Iruka turned his head and drew Kakashi’s finger into his mouth sucking it softly. Kakashi’s eyes widened, and for the second time that night he was shocked speechless. 

Kakashi’s eyes grew serious and darkened in desire, “Mmmm… Iruka, you have the softest lips.” Kakashi’s other hand reached up to brush his cheek, Iruka hadn’t bound his hair again when he woke and it fell softly framing his face. Kakashi wanted to run his fingers through the silken strands but refrained… Iruka would associate it with Ibiki. 

Iruka gave a hesitant glance at Raidou but relaxed at the pleased, reassuring look on his face. “I’m in your debt” Raidou said softly, his eyes held a hint of mischief. “You managed to surprise him twice in one night.”

Kakashi slid his finger from Iruka’s mouth and leaned in to brush a light kiss over Iruka’s lips when he pulled back Iruka looked over at Raidou again, and then down. Iruka’s voice was timid, “Kakashi… can I touch Raidou?”

Kakashi placed his finger under Iruka’s chin tilting his face up to look at him and giving an amused smirk. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Iruka gave Raidou a cautious look, “Can I touch you?”

Raidou’s lips twitched in humor, “Yes.” He replied seriously.

Kakashi grinned as Iruka walked over to Raidou and placed his hand on Raidou’s chest sliding carefully over the hard ridges of his muscles until he reached Raidou’s firm stomach. Raidou caught his breath and closed his eyes, when he opened them they blazed with desire, but his hands remained at his sides.

Kakashi however was not so restrained, he walked up his body cupping Iruka’s from behind and brushing his hair aside he dipped his head to Iruka’s neck nibbling along the cords with agile lips and drawing fast panting breaths and soft moans from Iruka. Kakashi cupped Iruka’s hips and rotated his hips softly grinding his hard erection against Iruka’s ass; Iruka whimpered pressing back into Kakashi eagerly. 

Kakashi’s tongue stroked the hollow behind Iruka’s ear and heard Iruka’s moan echoed by Raidou, Kakashi raised his head and gave a pleased smirk. Iruka’s hands hand gotten quite a bit bolder, they now stroked over Raidou’s impressive hard cock, which was straining against the restriction of his pants. 

“Mmmm…” Kakashi’s low husky purr, enticed. “Iruka would you like to move to the bedroom?”

“Oh!” Iruka gasped as Kakashi’s fingers stroked the hollows of his hips. “Yes.” Iruka’s breathing was rapid in desire.

Raidou and Kakashi exchanged a look, they needed to be careful with him, he was emotionally frail as much as physically slight it would take weeks to regain his lost weight. 

Raidou took Iruka’s hand and lead him to the bedroom, he stopped at the foot of the bed and turned to Iruka cupping his face and kissing him passionately. Kakashi stripped and walked over behind Iruka again his fingers brushing circles around Iruka’s stiffening nipples through his shirt then unbuttoning it to hang loose.

Then Kakashi’s fingers glided seductively down to unfasten Iruka’s pants and dipped inside to trace the length of Iruka’s cock, Iruka made a yearning whimper and Kakashi watched as Raidou broke the kiss.

Iruka’s fingers were stripping away Raidou’s shirt enthusiastically. Raidou brushed soft strokes of his fingers up Iruka’s neck brushing softly over his hair, Iruka trembled and Kakashi gave Raidou a look. Raidou gave a slight nod and his hands brushed down Iruka’s back, grazing lightly over the sensitive scars Iruka gave a pained whimper and Raidou’s hands came up to cup Iruka’s face once more and kiss him tenderly. 

Kakashi had stripped away Iruka’s shirt and pants and his hand stoked Iruka’s cock slowly teasing him with small pulses of chakra that drew soft panting moans and had Iruka bucking into his grasp. 

Raidou drew back from them and Kakashi cupped Iruka’s body to his continuing to stroke Iruka’s cock and the other cupped Iruka’s balls brushing lightly over them and rolling them gently in his palm. Iruka panted and made small needy moans, rubbing his ass back against Kakashi’s very stiff arousal, the precum making it glide smoothly along the part of his ass. 

When Raidou rejoined them he’d stripped and Kakashi turned his head to kiss Raidou, his hand left Iruka’s balls to stroke over Raidou’s cock. When Raidou’s soft gasps and moans joined Iruka’s Kakashi released them both with a smirk.

“Iruka I think Raidou would like a taste of your delicious cock.” Kakashi’s silken voice directed. Kakashi watched Iruka look up at Raidou compliantly. Raidou positioned Iruka on his back on at the top of the bed, crawling over him to lay positioned between Iruka’s legs. Kakashi heard Iruka’s gasp and saw his stomach muscles jump as Raidou dipped his lips to Iruka’s cock. Kakashi smiled, Raidou really did have quite a talented mouth. 

Kakashi positioned himself behind Raidou drawing Raidou’s hips up to raise his ass in the air. Kakashi slowly traced the crease of Raidou’s ass with his tongue and smirked when Raidou gave a little quiver. Kakashi did it again and this time Raidou couldn’t hold back a soft moan. Kakashi heard Iruka gasp as the vibrations teased his cock. The two men writhing around beneath him were a inspiring sight. Kakashi could feel his cock harden until the skin was so taut that every soft breeze created by the movement of their bodies taunted him brushing over the sensitive head like a finger.

Kakashi wanted to be buried deep in his lover hearing his moans, making him cry out in passion. Kakashi reached over taking the lube from the nightstand and dripping the slick liquid down the part of Raidou’s cheeks his long agile fingers skillfully stroked and taunted Raidou. Raidou made pleading whimpers his mouth still wrapped around Iruka’s cock. 

Kakashi thrust a finger inside Raidou’s snug hot hole, Raidou made a low moan Kakashi’s desire flared. He ruthlessly teased Raidou with small chakra pulses and deep thrusts of his finger, then added another. Raidou gasped, having to release Iruka’s cock to make a low eager cry, then he shifted to bathe Iruka’s balls with his tongue. Kakashi’s deep hard thrusts of his fingers had Raidou making a steady needy whimper, Kakashi scissored his fingers and Raidou thrust back into them.

Looking down at Iruka’s flushed face Kakashi knew he was close, and as Raidou’s mouth covered Iruka’s cock again Iruka arched up. Kakashi sent a wave of chakra into Raidou’s tempting hole, Raidou moaned deep and long as Iruka cried out loudly in release. 

Kakashi withdrew his fingers, drew Raidou’s hips to him and pushed firmly smoothly in to flush with Raidou’s body. Raidou clenched around Kakashi’s cock and Kakashi realized with a grin Iruka had moved and was now stroking Raidou’s cock. Kakashi fucked Raidou slowly making him beg “Please Kakashi! Please!” as he bucked back into him. 

Kakashi got a mischievous look and stilled, drawing a needy whimper from Raidou, then circled his hips. Raidou gasped, “Oh Kami, Kakashi please… don’t tease!” 

Kakashi heard more out of his quiet lover during sex than another time… he loved making him beg, moan then scream out in passion. Kakashi pulled back and shallowly fucked him, short slow strokes that drew desperate whimpers. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Ahhh… yes, yes, please Kakashi, Please!”

“Like this?” Kakashi gave a hard deep thrust hitting Raidou’s prostate and Raidou’s body jumped.

Raidou panted, “Oh, yes… please!”

Kakashi smirked; he rocked his hips and said “Mmmm… I don’t know if you really want that…”

Kakashi looked over at Iruka, his eyes were dark in passion and he trembled as his hand stroked softly over Raidou’s cock. 

“Oh!” Raidou gasped again as Kakashi did another slow rotation of his hips. “Kakashi! Please! I need you! Please fuck me, please!”

“Well since you asked so nicely…” Kakashi replied smugly. He grasped Raidou’s hips firmly and began fucking him hard his cock brushing over Raidou’s prostate with every thrust. 

Kakashi could feel Raidou nearing his release and as he reached the pinnacle Kakashi thrust hard into Raidou’s prostate making him scream out, his body thrashing and his ass clenching around Kakashi’s length, pulling at him and drawing him.

Kakashi remained buried in Raidou’s depths until the contractions had stilled to quivers and Raidou lay exhausted on the bed. Then Kakashi withdrew and lay beside Raidou drawing Iruka to lie by his side. 

Iruka shyly trailed his fingers over Kakashi’s hard stomach, Kakashi’s eyes glittered, and Iruka’s hand trailed down to brush softly over Kakashi’s erection drawing a hiss of pleasure from Kakashi.

Raidou had caught his breath and was lying on his side watching with interest. “Kakashi?” Iruka inquired softly.

“Hnn?” Kakashi replied his eyes knowing.

“Please…” Iruka’s hand stroked over Kakashi’s cock a bit firmer. 

Drawing a low purr from Kakashi, “Mmmm… Iruka.” His eyes half closed in pleasure. “Your hand feels so good.”

Raidou moved to cup Iruka from the other side; Iruka’s ass nestled in the curve of his hips and began nibbling softly on Iruka’s neck. Iruka made a needy mew. 

Kakashi’s eyes lit and a mocking, predatory smile curved his lips. “Did you need something?” Kakashi’s voice had a taunting lilt as his fingers barely brushed Iruka’s swollen cock.

“Please Kakashi… I want you in me, please fuck me.” Iruka stated boldened by the tender torture Raidou was submitting him to with his lips and teeth as he explored Iruka’s throat.

Raidou and Kakashi exchanged a glance, Iruka was so slight… not to mention his emotional issues, they shouldn’t be doing what they were… and to fuck him that went over the line into ‘definitely not right’.

“Please Kakashi!” Iruka seemed to sense their reluctance; he stroked Kakashi’s cock firmly. Kakashi was unswayed, his control too good to be overcome by physical temptation… no top ANBU would be able to be swayed by physical seduction, that would jeopardize missions, they were trained to resist even the best… and while Iruka was a seriously hot temptation, his seduction abilities were nearly non-existent. 

Kakashi gave Iruka a coy smile, removing Iruka’s hand from his cock and grasping Iruka’s finger, “Wouldn’t you rather feel my…” Kakashi flicked his tongue over the pad before drawing it in and sucking softly as the tip of his tongue teased it. Iruka’s mouth fell open with a little gasp, and then he whimpered with need. Once Kakashi had Iruka panting he released his finger and purred, “mouth?”

Iruka was a stubborn little delight, Kakashi liked that about him… Iruka had been the only one to ever resist the temptation of Kakashi’s chakra brushing over his skin, his reward… Kakashi still remembered his surprise and delight when Iruka had asked to touch him instead that first time… very interesting. He had strong will power, an admirable trait.

Iruka was panting with desire and yet he pursued, “Please fuck me… Kakashi I want you in me.”

Kakashi’s eyes flicked to Raidou, he gave a slight nod. Kakashi smiled seductively, “As you wish…” his hands roamed smoothly over Iruka’s body sending sparks randomly through him, teasing him and making him arch into his touch with low whimpers of desire. 

Raidou’s fingers brushed lightly over Iruka’s nipples, tugging and rolling them until they stood raised begging to be tasted. Raidou drew one of Iruka’s stiff nipples into his mouth sucking firmly and lapping at it with his tongue. 

Kakashi smiled down at the writhing man and kissed Iruka his lips soft against his, a whisper teasing, tempting. As Raidou’s lips left one nipple to draw the other in, his fingers continued enflaming Iruka’s passion with the light smooth glide of his fingers over the abandoned nipple.

Iruka moaned low into Kakashi’s mouth, then gasped and gave another breathy moan as Kakashi’s lips drifted from his, roaming down his jaw line and down his jugular drawing needy gasps and shivers in their wake. Raidou drew back watching his lover tease Iruka until he was trembling softly. 

Kakashi began dragging his tongue across the hollow of Iruka’s collarbone before his tongue flitted across Iruka’s highly sensitized nipple then his lips grazed Iruka’s taut stomach muscles drawing a gasp. 

Raidou’s lips settled on Iruka’s, this time his mouth devoured, hungrier, more demanding. Kakashi’s tongue stroked and his lips nibbled Iruka’s hipbones. Iruka gasped and sighed into Raidou’s mouth.

Kakashi knew what Iruka was doing, he was trying to drive away his sorrow, and his memories of Ibiki, focusing on the pleasant memory he had of his time with Kakashi.

Kakashi suspected this would ultimately back fire; it would only make Iruka miss Ibiki more because he’d realize no matter how pleasant sex was it wasn’t the same as love… 

They had no right to make his decisions for him, but Kakashi tried one last time to dissuade Iruka. Kakashi ran his tongue up Iruka’s swollen length, then drew back and with a wicked smile blew softly over it as his fingers stroked chakra pulses over Iruka’s drawn up balls. Iruka made a muffled cry in Raidou’s mouth his hips bucking. Raidou broke the kiss to trace the shell of Iruka’s ear with his tongue and teasing it with soft warm breaths 

“Please Kakashi, Please fuck me!” Iruka whimpered.

Iruka was determined to do this, Kakashi relented, he pushed Iruka’s legs up and back his fingers traveled to the tender skin under Iruka’s balls and then ran a light chakra stroke over Iruka’s puckered hole. Iruka began making pleading whimpers and pressing into his touch. 

Kakashi glanced up at Raidou; Raidou sat back and took the lube from the nightstand placing the open container down within Kakashi’s reach. Silently agreeing they would comply with Iruka’s wishes. 

Iruka gave a deep satisfied moan when Kakashi smoothly inserted his finger, his ass clenched around it and he pressed into it wantonly. Kakashi knew he could make Iruka cum by brushing a chakra pulse over Iruka’s prostate… For a brief second Kakashi entertained the idea but he doubted it would change Iruka’s mind.

Kakashi stroked deep before adding another finger, Iruka was so tight, his muscles drew on Kakashi’s fingers and Kakashi sent waves of chakra up his fingers making the muscles flutter and earning a sharp hiss as Iruka’s breath caught and he made a loud moan. “Oh Kami! Kakashi! Oh! Please fuck me! I need you!”

Kakashi gave a low chuckle, “Iruka… you NEED me? I’m flattered!” He taunted. Raidou shot Kakashi a chastising, but amused look. 

Unswayed, Kakashi continued, “What do you need Iruka?” Kakashi asked innocently, his eyes glittered slyly. “Do you need this?” Kakashi sent a pulse of chakra into Iruka’s body making it jump and clench around his fingers, a knowing, dominant smirk on his face. 

“Ah!” Iruka cried out and made a needy whimper. “I need you, I need your huge cock buried deep inside me!” 

Kakashi grinned, “Huge cock… hmmm, I think he’s going the give me a ego Raidou…”

Raidou shot Kakashi a mock dirty look and bent down to kiss Iruka passionately. Kakashi drew more lube and inserted three fingers stroking smooth and deep into Iruka’s body. Kakashi deliberately and carefully made sure Iruka was well lubed and very prepared; he didn’t want to cause him any pain.

Then Kakashi slipped his fingers from Iruka’s body and positioned his cock at the relaxed ring of muscles; he pressed slowly in until he rested flush with Iruka’s body, his cock sheathed inside Iruka’s clinging passage. Kakashi paused letting Iruka’s body adjust then began to slowly pull back and slide forward, gently fucking him. 

“Please don’t be so gentle.” Iruka begged. “Please Kakashi!”

Raidou gave Kakashi a worried look, Kakashi tilted his head and teased, “Why Raidou I think he wants my ‘huge cock’ to fuck him hard…” Kakashi pulled almost all the way out before thrusting deep once more. “Tell me Iruka… do you want me to fuck you hard with my ‘huge cock’?”

“Yes! Please Kakashi fuck me hard! I need it!” Iruka gasped as Kakashi began fucking him with long deep strokes. Inside Kakashi was just as worried as Raidou; he wouldn’t hurt Iruka, even if that was what he wanted. 

Raidou moved down and slid a pillow under Iruka’s hips then began to stroke Iruka’s cock as Kakashi knelt drawing Iruka’s legs over his arms and angled to brush Iruka’s prostate with his strokes. 

Kakashi drove Iruka’s breath from him with each deep gliding stroke in spite of his care. Iruka made mews of pleasure as Kakashi fucked him and drew a sharp breath crying out as Kakashi v’d his fingers at the base of his cock so his fingers delivered light chakra pulses to the sensitive outside of Iruka’s hole with every thrust of Kakashi’s hips. In seconds Iruka was whimpering and thrashing his body clenching around Kakashi’s cock and drawing a low moan from Kakashi. Iruka’s erotic whimpers drew Raidou down to kiss him and when Iruka bucked into Raidou’s palm cumming Raidou took his cry kissing him fiercely.

Kakashi thrust deep one last time and came, carefully withdrawing and moving to lie beside Iruka, watching him. As Raidou drew back from their kiss, Kakashi wondered how much of Iruka’s breathlessness was from passion and how much from exhaustion… he’d promised Lady Tsunade to not ‘tire him too much’. He may have broken that promise only hours after Iruka had ‘moved in’.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

Iruka’s first thought when he walked in the door was Kakashi wasn’t wearing his mask! Inside Iruka scoffed, of course not it’s his HOME. Iruka’s second thought was to marvel at the raw sensuality of Kakashi’s face and wonder how he’d ever resist the desire that flared in him, he could feel his breathing quicken in response.

Kakashi looked up and raised his eyebrows in surprise, then tried unsuccessfully to hide his reaction. Iruka glanced over at Raidou, Raidou looked smug and very pleased with himself.

Iruka watched as Kakashi’s lean form rose from the couch, he gave Raidou a mesmerizing and brazenly carnal smile as he flowed across the room. When he came to a stop in front of Raidou Iruka could almost smell the heat between them, the air was charged with sex. 

Kakashi gave Raidou a playful, taunting smile and slowly slid his hands up Raidou’s chest seeming to caress every dip and ridge of his muscles provocatively. Iruka watched Raidou catch his breath as Kakashi’s hands reached his neck then slid smoothly up to cup his head. 

Kakashi slowly leaned in sliding his body along Raidou’s like a cat, rubbing sinuously against him and nuzzling his neck up to his jaw line. Then, looking deep in Raidou’s eyes, Kakashi traced Raidou’s lips with the tip of his tongue before claiming them in a blatantly erotic kiss. Raidou gave a low moan and enclosed Kakashi in his arms, his body molding to Kakashi’s eagerly.

It was the most seductive, arousing sight Iruka had ever seen. Iruka blushed as his body responded to the sight of the lovers. Kakashi easily slipped out of Raidou’s grasp with a teasing smirk. “Raidou we have company…”

Kakashi’s eyes rested on Iruka slowly sliding down to Iruka’s very aroused cock, which embarrassingly tented his pants.

“Mmmm… I’m afraid I hadn’t gotten around to making up a bed for you yet,” Kakashi practically purred seductively. “Want to sleep in ours?” His smile was boldly direct, leaving no doubt of his intensions if Iruka said yes.

Iruka glanced over to see Raidou’s wry indulgent look he tossed at Kakashi, it was full of genuine affection and love. Raidou turned to look at Iruka reassuringly, “I can make a bed for you on the couch until tomorrow if you’d like.”

Iruka was flustered, he didn’t want to sleep on the couch but he didn’t know how to say what he did want… or how Raidou would feel about it. Iruka felt his skin heat and knew he was blushing deep red.

Kakashi’s eyes grew concerned, his voice was apologetic “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable…” and he brushed Iruka’s cheek softly with his fingertip. Iruka reacted unconsciously turning his head and capturing Kakashi’s finger in his mouth and stroking the tip with his tongue.

Kakashi looked stunned, then his eyes grew dark with lust. “Mmmm… Iruka, you have the softest lips.” Kakashi’s other hand touched Iruka’s cheek stroking gently along it and stopping before his unbound hair… 

Iruka didn’t know why he hadn’t bound it again after he woke… he had a vague memory of someone unbinding it and stroking softly over it, so like his mother used to do… now he realized it must have been Kakashi who’d stroked it so lovingly.

Iruka looked over at Raidou and saw his amused look, Raidou’s eyes twinkled, “I’m in your debt,” he said softly, “you managed to surprise him twice in one night.”

Kakashi drew his finger from Iruka’s mouth and leaned in to place a tender kiss on Iruka’s lips. When Kakashi pulled back Iruka tentatively glanced over at Raidou again, then looked down at the floor afraid to meet Kakashi’s eyes as he asked, “Kakashi… can I touch Raidou?” Kakashi was obviously the dominant partner and he probably wouldn’t want Iruka touching his partner.

Iruka felt Kakashi’s gentle finger tilt his head up to meet his eyes, he gave Iruka a sassy smirk. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Iruka shyly looked over at Raidou, Raidou had a look of quiet intensity. “Can I touch you?” 

Raidou’s eyes sparkled and his lip twitched in humor, his voice was kind. “Yes.”

Iruka walked over his eyes glued to Raidou’s face enthralled with the opportunity to freely touch him; he had permission to touch him! 

Iruka stopped before Raidou cautiously reaching out to place his hand on Raidou’s wide strong chest; he ran his hand over it delighting in the solid firm mass of him. Raidou was taller than him and his body was hard ridges of muscles, Iruka ran his hand down to hesitantly brush over the taut flat planes of his stomach. 

Raidou’s sharply indrawn hiss sent a wave of desire through Iruka and he looked up to see Raidou’s eyes closed in pleasure. Iruka felt a thrill, he had drew this response from Raidou… a large powerful man and Iruka drew that response… the feeling of such a strong skilled nin, surrendering to his touch was intoxicating.

When Raidou opened his eyes they flared with passion but he remained still submitting to Iruka. Iruka’s hands explored the hard muscles feeling them jump under his touch. 

Iruka felt Kakashi’s wiry body cup his, nuzzle his hair aside and skillfully ravage his neck. Iruka’s legs nearly went weak at the agonizing pleasure, he moaned his breathing quickening in lust and when Kakashi held his hips and rubbed his hard cock against Iruka’s ass he felt such a over powering desire to feel that hard cock in him that it made him breathless.

Iruka pressed back gladly into the hard bulge of Kakashi’s cock. Iruka’s hands trailed lower brushing inquisitively over Raidou’s hard erection through the cloth of his pants. Kakashi’s tongue traced the hollow behind his ear and Iruka moaned, his hand cupping and firmly stroking Raidou’s cock and drawing a moan from him.

“Mmmm…Iruka would you like to move to the bedroom?” Kakashi’s low silken voice inquired.

Kakashi’s fingers stroked over the hollows of Iruka’s hips drawing an involuntary “Oh!” and a breathless agreement. “Yes.”

Raidou looked down at Iruka fondly, and then took his hand leading him to the bedroom and stopping at the foot of the bed. Raidou turned; looking down at Iruka passionately he cupped Iruka’s face and kissed him deeply. 

Iruka felt Kakashi’s lithe frame mold itself to his body, they fit together perfectly, like interconnecting puzzle pieces. Kakashi’s fingers roamed over Iruka’s chest tracing and teasing until Iruka’s nipples were hard and his breathing was punctuated with soft moans. 

Iruka felt the cooler air of the room brush over them and knew Kakashi’s talented fingers had completely unbuttoned it to hang loose on his body. Iruka could feel the heat of Kakashi’s hard cock through his thin cotton pants and then brush of Kakashi’s fingers on his cock made him whimper lustfully. 

Raidou drew back from Iruka’s lips, allowing Iruka to pant at the wonderful sensations. Iruka fervently stripped Raidou’s shirt eager to lick and nip the firm hard lines of his chest. 

Raidou brushed his fingers over Iruka’s hair, and Iruka froze, his eyes widening and he gave a little shiver. Then Raidou’s hands brushed down his back tracing the scars and Iruka gave a despairing plaintive whine, his body quivering. Raidou cupped his face gently and kissed him, wordlessly consoling him.

Iruka’s pants had pooled around his feet and he stepped out of them as Kakashi’s fingers deftly stripped his shirt, once again Iruka was surprised by the ease of which Kakashi was able to strip him. Clothing tossed aside, Kakashi sent stimulating little pulses of chakra racing along Iruka’s cock as his hands masterfully teased him, Iruka soon couldn’t hold back from mewling and bucking into his divine touch.

Raidou stepped back and began stripping his clothes, a process Iruka mostly missed since Kakashi’s skilled fingers had moved to fondling his balls while continuing to stroke his cock and Iruka’s eyes closed in rapture. Iruka was panting and rubbing back against Kakashi’s cock with needy moans, it slid easily along the part of his ass.

Raidou walked over and Kakashi kissed him hungrily his hand leaving Iruka’s balls to stroke over Raidou’s cock. Iruka watched Kakashi’s hand stroking Raidou, his movements mimicking the strokes he was performing on Iruka’s cock and Raidou’s eyes closed in delight his moans joining with Iruka’s. 

Kakashi released them, his eyes boldly dominant and with a playful twist of his lips he directed, “Iruka I think Raidou would like a taste of your delicious cock.” 

Iruka looked up and saw Raidou’s hungry intent gaze, Raidou urged him up to lie on his back at the top of the bed and slid down to lie between his legs. Raidou’s dark gaze pierced Iruka as he drew Iruka’s cock into his mouth his tongue swirling around the head then stroking the shaft as he lowered his head to take it the base.

Iruka gasped his body jumping as he felt Raidou’s throat enclose his cock. For a moment the memory of his ‘lessons’ with Ibiki flashed through his mind and he quickly pushed it aside by concentrating on how absolutely fantastic Raidou’s mouth felt. 

When Raidou moaned around Iruka’s cock Iruka gasped, the vibrations were unbelievable, he squirmed slightly as they teased him… when Raidou began making little whimpers Iruka couldn’t hold back his low moans. 

Raidou slid his mouth from Iruka’s cock to cry out and his amazing tongue began caressing Iruka’s balls, his soft whimpers a steady vibration that teased Iruka until he couldn’t think he could take anymore. 

When Raidou’s hot mouth enclosed Iruka’s cock again Iruka bucked up into it’s moist depths. Raidou moaned deeply and the excruciating pleasure of the vibration over his straining cock sent Iruka over the edge his orgasm so intense he couldn’t stop the loud cry he made, his body trembled even after he came and Raidou’s mouth slid from his cock. 

Iruka slid from under Raidou and moved to the side to watch, his breath drew in excitement… Kakashi’s cock was seated deep within Raidou’s body and Raidou was making provocative little pants and whimpers of need. Iruka reached over and enclosed Raidou’s big cock in his hand stroking softly as Kakashi slowly drew his cock out and pushed in, taunting Raidou with the slow strokes. 

Raidou began begging and bucking into Kakashi’s strokes. Iruka watched fascinated as Kakashi teased his lover, it was so erotic watching Kakashi’s masterful control and seeing the desperate need he drew from his usually quiet lover. Iruka stroked the hard length of Raidou’s cock softly, providing only light stimulation, aiding in the slow tease. 

Iruka was well aware of the desperate need that Kakashi skillfully created and the knowing way he controlled your body, toying with you… Iruka wanted that, he wanted Kakashi. 

Kakashi began to fuck Raidou harder and Iruka could feel Raidou’s body tense then Raidou cried out loudly his body contracting and shaking as he came, his cum coating Iruka’s hand as he stroked Raidou’s cock. 

Kakashi slid his cock from his lover and Raidou lay down on the bed catching his breath. Kakashi laid on his back beside him playfully drawing Iruka down on his other side.

Iruka unconsciously ran his fingers over this fine soft skin of Kakashi’s abs tracing the fine line of hair down to the area that drew him. He wanted to touch it, to taste it but most of all he wanted Kakashi’s cock deep inside him, he wanted to be fucked by that beautiful cock. As Iruka’s fingers traced Kakashi’s cock, Kakashi’s stomach muscles contracted and he gasped in appreciation. 

“Kakashi?” Iruka asked as his fingers explored Kakashi’s cock.

Kakashi’s lips twitched in a smirk “Hnn?” 

“Please…” Iruka begged, his hand cupping Kakashi’s cock and stroking it.

Kakashi seductive voice rumbled softly. “Mmmm… Iruka. Your hand feels so good.” Iruka could hear the edge of amusement in his tone.

Raidou rose and moved to cup Iruka’s body from the other side, his nose nuzzled Iruka’s neck brushing aside his hair and began nibbling along the cords and tracing his jugular with a firm tongue. Iruka made a pleading, desperate whimper as Raidou toyed with him.

Kakashi’s eyes danced in shameless provocation, his lips curved in a devilish smile as his talented fingers barely brushed Iruka’s turgid cock. “Did you need something?” 

The combination of Raidou’s soft torment and the whisper light touches from Kakashi’s fingers made Iruka brazen. “Please Kakashi… I want you in me, please fuck me.” 

Iruka could feel Raidou’s slight tension and pleaded, “Please Kakashi!” He had to convince them, he needed Kakashi to fuck him needed it desperately and he was determined he’d find some way to convince them. Iruka stroked Kakashi as he tried to convince him of his need.

Kakashi’s eyes blazed with desire as he looked at Iruka but his lips twisted in a mocking smirk as he lifted Iruka’s hand from his cock. “Wouldn’t you rather feel my…” Kakashi drew Iruka’s finger into his mouth, his tongue flicking over the tip as he drew softly on it swirling suggestively around it and stoking the pad with seductive swipes of his tongue. Iruka caught his breath, and then melted in lust a little soft whimper coming from his lips, his breathing quickened. Kakashi let Iruka’s finger slide slowly from his lips. “mouth?”

Iruka fought through the fog of his desire, determined not to be dissuaded. “Please fuck me… Kakashi I want you in me.” He panted.

Kakashi’s eyes glittered, his voice was ripe with amusement, but beneath it Iruka could hear affection. “As you wish…” he gave Iruka a sultry smile, his fingers sending small pulses and tingling shocks of chakra playing over Iruka’s skin as he stroked him. 

Iruka arched into his touch eagerly, his body craving Kakashi’s erotic touch. When Raidou’s fingers joined the divine sensations tormenting Iruka’s body, Iruka couldn’t help the low moans that poured from his throat. 

Raidou’s mouth lowered to suck one of Iruka’s peaked nipples into his hot mouth and for a moment Iruka forgot how to breathe as the sensation drove all the air from him with a tortured moan. Iruka squirmed under the assault, Kakashi smiled softly and brushed his lips over Iruka’s catching his moans as Raidou lifted his mouth and attacked Iruka’s other nipple with equal vigor. 

Iruka felt like his body had been turned into one erogenous zone as Kakashi’s lips roamed down his jaw and over the tender skin of his throat, Iruka trembled, panting his body on fire with his need. 

Raidou’s lips left Iruka’s nipple and the graze of Kakashi’s tongue slid down his collarbone, his breath feathering lightly over the damp skin drawing shivers of pleasure, until it stroked over Iruka’s swollen nipple. Iruka gave a little cry then caught his breath sharply as Kakashi’s lips continued the path down his body, nipping across his tight abs. 

Raidou swooped down capturing Iruka’s lips sucking them and kissing him with ravenous hunger, his hand cupping Iruka’s head and holding him unable to catch more than brief gasps as Kakashi lathed Iruka’s hips nipping the bones and tracing the hollows with the point of his tongue. 

Iruka could feel the hot moist air of Kakashi’s breath blow sensually over his cock before the soft wet stroke of his tongue slowly slid up it’s swollen length tracing the shaft to the highly sensitive area beneath the head, his breath brushed softly over the moist skin and his fingers cupped Iruka’s balls rolling and sending small jolts of chakra over them. 

Iruka made a desperate needy cry into Raidou’s conquering mouth and his hips bucked at the wonderful temptations. Raidou released his mouth so he could pant and began trailing his tongue around the rim of Iruka’s ear. Iruka couldn’t take no more teasing he felt like he was going to explode into a million pieces. Iruka pleaded, “Please Kakashi, Please fuck me!”

Kakashi pushed Iruka’s legs apart, bending them at the knees and pushed them gently back tilting Iruka’s hips to display the puckered star that was so in need of his attention. Kakashi’s fingers slipped slowly down the soft strip of skin behind Iruka’s balls to stroke a slight spike of chakra over the tight hole, Iruka squirmed wantonly mewling and begging.

When Kakashi slipped a slick finger in to Iruka’s body Iruka made a low pleased moan of delight, his muscles clamping around it as if to enjoy the sensation of it’s desired intrusion and he pressed down wanting more.

Iruka felt the smooth thrust of Kakashi’s finger stroking along the inside of his body in heavenly pumps that fueled his lust, and delighted in the sensation of another finger being added stretching his hole gently. Iruka nearly leapt off the bed as Kakashi sent a wave of chakra up into him, his muscles clenched around Kakashi’s fingers and Iruka gasped and cried out. “Oh Kami! Kakashi! Oh! Please fuck me! I need you!”

Iruka heard Kakashi’s coy taunting laugh. “Iruka… you NEED me? I’m flattered!” Kakashi teased shamelessly, “What do you need Iruka? Do you need this?” 

Iruka’s breath left him with a sharp gasp as another stronger wave of chakra shot through him; he quivered, his muscles contracting around Kakashi’s fingers eagerly. “Ah! I need you, I need your huge cock buried deep inside me!” Iruka implored his tone pleading.

Iruka heard the teasing laughter in Kakashi’s tone but he was beyond caring, “Huge cock… hmmm, I think he’s going the give me a ego Raidou…” Raidou seemed oblivious to Kakashi’s mocking and bent over Iruka kissing him deeply, as Iruka felt Kakashi thrust smoothly into him with three fingers, pushing deep. 

Iruka was on fire with lust and swore if Kakashi didn’t fuck him soon he was going to scream. Kakashi’s fingers eased from Iruka’s body and he felt Kakashi’s cock poised at his hole, then slowly push into him until Kakashi’s cock was settled deep inside Iruka’s body. It felt so wonderful; Iruka wanted more he wanted that wonderful cock plunging hard into him driving away all his sorrow bringing him to the heights of pleasure.

Kakashi slowly stroked his amazing cock in and out of Iruka’s body slowly gently fucking him. Iruka nearly cried in frustration. “Please don’t be so gentle.” Iruka beseeched, in a yearning desperate voice. “Please Kakashi!” 

Kakashi gave Iruka a grin of absolute and complete smug male delight as he toyed with Iruka shamelessly. “Why Raidou I think he wants my ‘huge cock’ to fuck him hard… Tell me Iruka… do you want me to fuck you hard with my ‘huge cock’?” Kakashi’s thrusts became harder, deeper.

“Yes! Please Kakashi fuck me hard! I need it!” Iruka couldn’t hold back the pleasure in his voice as Kakashi began to hit all those delightful places deep inside that made him want to scream in ecstasy. 

As Kakashi stopped and angled Iruka up, hooking Iruka’s legs over his arms Raidou slid a pillow under his hips and his warm hand enclosed Iruka’s cock. Kakashi started fucking him harder, Raidou stroked his cock, the double stimulation reduced Iruka to wordless pleasured whimpers and cries. 

When Iruka felt the brushes of chakra play over the sensitive nerves of his hole in combination with the brush of his prostate and glide of Raidou’s hand on his cock his body thrashed in an unbelievably intense orgasm, and he cried out his body arching and bucking into Raidou’s hand. 

Raidou leaned down kissing him skillfully. Kakashi thrust deep once more, cumming in Iruka, before gently withdrawing and lying beside him. Kakashi watched Iruka as Raidou drew back from their kiss and Iruka panted, exhausted but satisfied. After the breath had returned to his lungs, Iruka rolled over pinning Kakashi on his back and kissing him, “Thank you.”

Kakashi laughed, “You’re welcome.” Kakashi gave Raidou an arrogant stare, “How come you never thank me? Hey, stud material here… can I get a little…” Raidou shook his head and grabbed the pillow hitting Kakashi with it; Iruka could see the love in his eyes as he looked at Kakashi. Kakashi tossed the pillow aside and grinned playfully. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 8:

GENMA/ANKO:

How could things get any worse?! How could Tsunade release Iruka to the lecherous clutches of someone like Kakashi! What was she thinking?! Three days… three days he’d been with Kakashi… he hadn’t known since Kakashi had ‘conveniently’ made him leave and he hadn’t tried to return until today… Kakashi had been planning this all along!

Genma stormed out of the hospital slamming the door behind him in frustration, why didn’t anyone see the only safe place for Iruka was with him?! Even Asuma was confused… normal, not normal… why did he insist on blurring the line?!

Genma stormed down the road in disgust, what was he going to do about this… how could he finally save Iruka, cure him of this… sickness, this unnatural need for pain?! Iruka needed him to fix this… but how? The conversation he’d had with Asuma came back to him… ‘I wouldn’t beat him!’ ‘Even if he asked you to?’ 

What kind of sick shit is that?! Hurt him?! How could Asuma think that was ‘normal’, how could ANYONE think that was normal… damn, sure he’d tied Anko up but… 

Hell, he couldn’t even complete that thought… he hadn’t ever really hurt her, maybe a little but she’d begged him to… ah, hell… things had really got weird, he didn’t know what to think any more!

Genma walked into the bar and sat, he’d been tossing this… issue, around since he and Asuma talked… now he found out Iruka was with Kakashi… this whole thing was just wrong… wasn’t it? 

Damn, now they had him confused… just where do you draw the line between kinky and sick… and had he already crossed that line himself?! He’d tied Anko up, used vibrators in some pretty unusual and graphic ways, poured hot wax on her… hell, just short of permanent damage he’d done a lot of things… was the line permanent damage? 

What made the voluntary scarring Iruka choose different than any other ‘alteration’ people made… tattoos, piercings, clan brandings like the Inuzuka clan… voluntary infestation like the Aburame clan… and those were done to babies… Genma shook his head in confusion; he didn’t know what to believe anymore… 

Anko walked into the bar and after a probing look she sat. Anko poured herself a drink and placed the bottle back on the table beside the candle. This table always had a candle, ever since that first night so long ago when Ibiki, Iruka and her came to the bar together… who would’ve thought then that things would go so… strange. 

Anko sipped her drink and looked over at Genma. “Ok… spill it. You’ve been in a constant funk since Iruka started dating Ibiki.”

Genma gave her a disgusted look “You’d call that dating?!”

Anko shrugged, and then sipped her drink.

“Do you really think that’s normal?!”

Anko fixed him with a piercing look, setting down her drink firmly on the table. Her gaze one of disbelief, challenging him, she dipped her finger in the candle wax pointedly. 

“But I don’t really hurt you!” Genma exclaimed in a disgusted tone.

Anko snorted, “Really?” She asked dryly.

Genma looked at Anko in distress. “I don’t… do I?!”

Anko smirked, “You don’t hear me complaining…”

Genma blanched and for a moment he looked like he’d be sick, “WHY?!” He demanded.

“Want the scientific explanation or an explanation from one of us ‘not normal’ people?!” Anko asked sarcastically.

“You’ve been talking to Asuma…”

She rolled her eyes expressively, “Actually no… but I had a feeling you were one of those people who had ‘issues’ with it… let me ask you something. Why did you go along with it if you thought it was ‘sick’?”

“I don’t… well… the things we did weren’t… sick.” Genma looked confused.

Anko quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I NEVER SENT YOU TO THE HOSPITOL.” Genma growled angrily.

Anko shrugged, “Ibiki’s got a temper… tell me you don’t.”

“I haven’t EVER put someone in the hospital from something I’ve done to them!” Genma looked at Anko fiercely.

Anko smirked sarcastically, “That lucky, huh? I have… during a bar fight a long time ago… that guy you pummeled three months ago didn’t have to go in for stitches or anything?”

Genma frowned and finally grumbled, “I don’t know… but HE wasn’t my lover.”

Anko sighed in disgust, she sat back and looking around the bar for a long while, when she spoke it was subdued, “Iruka isn’t the same as you… pain for nin who are on active duty… doing missions, well some don’t want pain… they’ve had enough in their daily lives… but Iruka… and even quite a few of the ANBU… Well, pain is different to them. They embrace the pain… they use it…” 

Anko’s voice rose and became increasingly hostile. “Hell in the right setting they even ENJOY the pain. It doesn’t make them wrong… or sick… just different, what’s wrong is to tell someone that they are sick for finding enjoyment in something that doesn’t affect you!” Anko cast a last disgusted look at Genma, got up and walked away. 

Genma glared at her back as she left the bar. What was wrong with these people?! First Asuma, then Anko… had the entire would lost their mind?!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA:

It had been several days since his ‘release’ from the hospital… either Raidou or Kakashi was always at his side… it was making him crazy. He missed his life; teaching, working at the mission desk… Ibiki. Yes, Ibiki… no matter how he tried he couldn’t forget about him. 

The sex with Raidou and Kakashi was amazing, incredible… mind blowing, but some how it just wasn’t the same… he remembered Ibiki holding him, kissing him, his voice murmuring soft loving things… 

No matter how Iruka tried to believe it all was a lie, he wanted it… needed it… he loved Ibiki. Ibiki lied to him and had only been amusing himself with Iruka… toying with him, and Iruka STILL wanted him… he was pathetic.

Neither Raidou nor Kakashi had thought it was a good idea to go to the bar… finally tonight he’d wheedled Raidou into agreeing, as long as he didn’t drink. Iruka gladly agreed… anything to have something, ANYTHING the same as before. He missed his house and Asuma’s visits… Anko’s sarcasm… at this point, he even kind of missed Genma’s harassment!

As the time to leave got closer Iruka became more nervous… would everyone be looking at him? What would he say? What if someone mentioned Ibiki… would he burst into tears and humiliate himself? Iruka began to think maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all… but he couldn’t back out now. 

Iruka glanced nervously at Raidou, Raidou walked over and kissed him gently, “It’s going to be fine.” His low soft voice was soothing. Iruka nodded and walked out of Kakashi and Raidou’s apartment for the first time since he’d left the hospital. 

As Iruka walked down the street to the bar he regretted telling Raidou he wanted to do this alone. It would’ve been so much easier to walk in with Raidou or Kakashi at his side… but it was time to stand on his own, to break free of the restriction of being watched, taken care of like a child… he wanted to go home, to live his life again.

Iruka walked in the bar and looked around, his heart sank. Genma… Genma was at the table, only Genma. For a moment Iruka debated leaving, Genma hadn’t seen him he could just try again some other time… Iruka took a deep breath, no… he was going to do this, he wouldn’t fall apart and he refused to be afraid.

Iruka walked across the bar and sat across from Genma, Genma looked up in surprise. “Iruka!” Genma looked around the bar and when he didn’t see Kakashi, Raidou… or even Anko, he turned and looked at Iruka again in puzzlement. “So… how are you doing?”

Iruka shrugged. Genma shoved the bottle over to Iruka, but Iruka shook his head, “No… I’m not supposed to drink yet, not until I’ve put on a little more weight…”

Genma nodded and sat watching Iruka not sure what to say. After a few long minutes of silence Iruka smiled softly, “Where’s Anko, Asuma and everyone else?”

Genma frowned looking down at his drink a moment, “Anko was here… but we kinda… disagreed about something… she left.”

Iruka, tilted his head, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Genma looked embarrassed, “No… so where’s Kakashi?”

Iruka flashed another soft empty smile. “I’m sure he’ll be along later.”

The silence stretched out again and finally Genma looked pointedly at Iruka. “Why are you staying with Kakashi?”

Iruka blushed, “How did you know I was staying with Kakashi?”

Genma’s face was cold. Iruka straightened raising his chin, no one had the right to demand anything of him, and he didn’t need to answer.

Genma cast a disapproving look at Iruka. “Haven’t you learned anything?” His voice was low and scornful.

Iruka flushed, this time in anger. “Who are you to ask me these things?! What right do you have to say ANYTHING?!” Iruka hissed.

“AT LEAST I CARE!” Genma snarled, his voice thick with sarcasm. “You keep giving yourself to dog after dog… like your somebody’s bitch.” Genma rose his hands clenched into fists.

Iruka looked up at him with fury, then down at his fists before meeting Genma’s eyes once more. “Go ahead! Believe me you won’t walk out of this bar! I WILL NOT be treated like a object!”

Genma looked at him in confused outrage. “Who are you?! What happened to the normal Iruka I knew?!”

“Perhaps you never knew me at all.” Iruka replied coldly, his gaze challenging. “You only saw who you wanted to see.”

Genma shook his head, and turned to walk away, he paused and looked back his mouth open to say something but he closed it shook his head once more and left.

Iruka trembled softly, ‘well that went well’ he thought sarcastically. ‘Any more friends you want to antagonize?’ 

Luckily at that moment Asuma came wandering in his eyes lit at the sight of Iruka and he hurried over. “Hey! Iruka! Wow, I’m so glad to see you! It felt like you disappeared… I missed you! Don’t tell me this is your bottle” Asuma picked up the half empty sake bottle shaking it gently “you started without us!”

Iruka gave him a kind smile. “No… that belonged to Genma, he just left… somehow I doubt he’ll be back tonight.”

Asuma quirked an eyebrow at Iruka, snatched a clean cup and bottled water from the bar and sat. “So you home yet?” Asuma handed the water to Iruka. 

Iruka smiled a genuine smile, Asuma was a good friend, even in an awkward situation he always somehow managed to make everything all right… too bad he hadn’t been here a good 15 minutes ago, Iruka sighed. If Asuma had been here Iruka doubted his ‘talk’ with Genma would’ve escalated the way it did.

“No… not yet, still staying with…” Iruka said pausing not sure if he should say Kakashi or Raidou… he was pretty sure it was not common knowledge that they lived together, or that they even were more than acquaintances. Either way it didn’t matter because Asuma just nodded pouring himself a drink.

“Well it’s good to see you. Wonder who else will show tonight?” Asuma took a sip of his drink.

“I believe Raidou said he’d be by later.” Iruka said poking at the candle… strangely this table seemed to be the only one to have one…

“Hmmm… Anko should be by later, you missed her dragging Ebisu in here… man, I thought she was going to give him a heart attack!” Asuma grinned.

Iruka smiled his eyes lighting, “Poor Ebisu!” 

Iruka played with the label of the water bottle, he just couldn’t face more water… several times daily Raidou would hand him a water and wait patiently for Iruka to drink it. Iruka knew it was Lady Tsunade’s instructions but he felt like he was going to ‘float away’.

Iruka frowned, and looked at the bottle. “Asuma… I can’t forget him… I should be glad it’s over, happy to be with… But I can’t forget him.” Iruka looked up at Asuma. “What is wrong with me?” Asuma looked at Iruka patiently. “Everyone says he didn’t care for me… he even said it was all a game and yet I miss him…” Iruka felt a sense of hopelessness wash over him.

Asuma was just watching him, his expression was enigmatic. “Why does there have to be something wrong with you?” 

“Look at me… I want him back. I don’t...” Iruka sighed. “I don’t even care that he was using me… that everyone was looking at me and knowing he was only using me.”

Asuma set his cup on the table and looked at Iruka. “Who is everyone?” He asked calmly.

Iruka gave him a confused look; Asuma’s gaze was experienced and patient. Iruka thought on Asuma’s question. Who had said Ibiki was just using him and didn’t care… Genma… only Genma. No one else had ridiculed his choice… they worried about him but no other dismissed Ibiki as ‘just using him’… but he had been… at least at first.

Asuma had picked up his drink again and gave Iruka a playful smile, “You better drink that water… you wouldn’t want Lady Tsunade to come after you!” 

Iruka distractedly nodded at Asuma’s comment. Raidou walked in beside an obviously irritated Anko, her irritation melted when she saw Iruka and she grinned, “Hey Iruka! Come to hang out with us degenerates?!”

Iruka grinned, “I missed you… all of you.” Iruka flicked a glance over at Raidou; he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act. Kakashi and Raidou were very discrete about their relationship. Raidou took a chair beside Iruka and laid his arm casually over the back of Iruka’s chair a moment stroking his back softly.

“Hey Raidou, good to see ya'.” Asuma poured Raidou a drink and Raidou leaned forward to take it, his arm falling away from Iruka’s chair. 

Raidou nodded thanks to Asuma. Anko grinned at Iruka, “You missed my attempt to loosen up Ebisu!” 

Asuma snorted, “Ya' you could call it that… or your attempt to kill him. You made the man turn so red he looked like he’d burst into flame.”

Iruka laughed and shook his head, “I’m sure Anko was just trying to be nice.”

Anko got a wicked grin, “Well, consider it his yearly stress test…” 

Raidou flashed Anko a smirk. “Good Samaritan.”

Anko tried unsuccessfully to look innocent, “I do what I can.”

Kakashi came wandering in and sat near Raidou. “Hey.”

Asuma pushed the bottle at him, snagging another cup from the bar. “We were just discussing the finer qualities of our sweet Anko…”

Kakashi quirked a mildly amused eyebrow. Anko laughed at Asuma and flashed him an obscene gesture. “Guess it’s my turn to buy.” Anko rose and started for the bar.

Iruka rose, “I’ll get more cups in case anyone else arrives.” And quickly followed her, he caught her at the bar. “Anko?”

“Yup?” She turned and smiled softly.

Suddenly Iruka wasn’t sure exactly what to say, he sighed and asked bluntly. “I’m I crazy to want Ibiki back?”

The smile disappeared from Anko’s face, “I don’t know… Not crazy, but I’m not sure it’s wise…” She looked seriously at Iruka. “I think you need to ask yourself why… I’m not sure you can make it work, you may just be opening yourself up to more pain”, she flashed a sarcastic grin. “And not the good kind.” 

Anko turned picking up the bottle, then looked at him again a bit curiously, “Do you really like that much pain?”

Iruka blushed, “It’s got its upside… I don’t know, from anyone else… probably not, but it’s Ibiki… I can’t explain. It’s him, the raw power… it’s exciting… addictive.”

Anko nodded, “No… you’re not crazy, but I’m not sure you know where to draw the line anymore… remember when I first came to you…” Iruka nodded silently, Anko reached up purposely brushing her fingers through his hair and watching him flinch. “You need to find the line.”

Iruka nodded silently and they returned to the table, no one mentioned Iruka hadn’t brought back the cups he’d claimed to be getting. Iruka sat back in his chair; Kakashi’s eye was intent on him, and then shifted to give Anko a cold stare. Raidou cast him a glance and Kakashi returned to lazily surveying the bar and sipping his drink.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

Things were coming to a head once more, he could feel it. Ibiki was… different. It wasn’t just that he was cold, and emotionless… hell that was Ibiki. No… Ibiki seemed to have lost his interest in anything, he had put in for a replacement to take over Head of ANBU and was training a new Interrogation Officer to take over his duties there… rumor had it Ibiki had requested to go back on mission status.

Everyone thought the whole Iruka situation was over, Ibiki had carried on, Iruka was recovering… everything was good. Kakashi could feel something looming like a storm cloud, he wasn’t sure what, but it wasn’t going to be pretty.

Iruka wasn’t ‘recovering’, although physically he was almost a healthy weight again, he seemed more restless by the day. Lady Tsunade thought he was just missing work and his apartment… but Kakashi could see the signs, it wasn’t over… Iruka wasn’t going to get over Ibiki… whether Tsunade or anyone else agreed, Iruka was going back for more, it was just a matter of time.

Kakashi arrived at the bar, Raidou had left a message… he’d agreed to let Iruka go without him, although Kakashi was sure Raidou would be there by now. Lady Tsunade wouldn’t agree with their decision but Raidou and he agreed that it was time. Iruka needed to get up, get out and play this to the end. He would never be content the way things were… and no matter what his choices Kakashi and Raidou wouldn’t stop him.

As Kakashi entered he saw the usual group… except Genma. Iruka was sitting at Raidou’s side. Kakashi took his usual seat at Raidou’s side and took the cup Asuma offered, poured a drink and sat back to watch, Asuma was playing the clown tonight… trying to ease everyone’s discomfort and restore camaraderie.

When Anko got up and went up to the bar Iruka made a hurried excuse and followed her, Kakashi watched. He could guess what the conversation was about… Iruka was seeking support for his wish to return to Ibiki, reassurance that it wasn’t wrong from the only other of their group who might understand. 

Anko didn’t look happy, Iruka’s face looked uncertain, then Anko picked up the bottle from the bar said another thing before reaching out with a firm look on her face to run her hand through Iruka’s hair.

Kakashi stiffened as Iruka flinched, Raidou’s leg brushed Kakashi’s diverting his attention. Raidou gave him a small negative shake of his head; Kakashi watched Iruka and Anko return. Iruka looked upset and Kakashi gave Anko a cold stare, Raidou flashed him a look and Kakashi pretended to loose interest and go back to watching the bar. If Raidou didn’t think they should get involved then Kakashi trusted him, it was ‘uncomfortable’ to allow Anko to upset Iruka but somehow necessary.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 9:

IRUKA:

Several days had passed since he was at the bar; Iruka had thought about Anko’s words… had he forgotten where to ‘draw the line’? Could a ‘line’ even be drawn? Iruka wasn’t so sure… all he knew was he was happy until Ibiki ended their relationship, and he hadn’t been since… 

And that he’d gladly be whipped again if it brought Ibiki pleasure… yes, he was sick, but it wasn’t a sickness that harmed anyone else… he still trusted Ibiki with his body but could he ever trust him with his heart?

Raidou and Kakashi had both went back to mission status and while they were gone Iruka was going to move back to his home. Tsunade had ok’d his return to work starting the beginning of the week, she wanted him to get used to being back at home for the next two days.

Iruka sighed it was hard to believe it had been over two weeks since he’d went home and laid down in bed to die… he could admit that now, somewhere inside of him he knew, he knew he was killing himself.

Iruka stood outside his apartment door, for a minute he didn’t think he could walk back in there… to see everything the same, like his world hadn’t shattered that day.

Iruka opened the door, pushing it wide open he looked in… everything was unchanged, Iruka walked into his bedroom and for several long minutes he looked at his bed… the bed where Ibiki and he had sex, the bed where he’d laid down to die. 

The apartment was spotless the bed made with fresh sheets, Iruka looked over on the dresser at the glass dolphin and felt a deep sadness, how had everything gone so wrong… 

Iruka had thought that what he had with Ibiki had been a relationship, but now he wasn’t as sure, he saw only a long chain of abuse that he’d gladly embraced… what was left? Iruka walked over and sat on the end of the bed, the future looked pretty bleak and he couldn’t fight the wish that Ibiki hadn’t ended it.

The knock on the open door broke Iruka from his revere’. “Yes.” Iruka got up and walked towards the entryway.

“Hey Iruka, are you home?” Asuma stood in the door as if unsure if he was allowed to enter.

“Yes, come in.” Iruka put on a smile, although he truly only wished to be alone. 

Asuma walked in and stood looking at him a moment, his face serious. “Iruka you know as well as I do you can’t walk away from this… were you happy with him?”

Iruka nodded, then shrugged. “I don’t know…” he sighed. “I thought I was… for a while I thought… I thought we had something.”

Iruka sat down heavily on the couch. Asuma sat in the armchair looking at him. “I did ask him to whip me… it wasn’t something he demanded, he didn’t even ask… I just knew it would please him… I don’t mind the scars.” Iruka looked in Asuma’s eyes earnestly, “You know he asked me if I wanted to be healed after, he WANTED to heal me… it was never about anger… it was a gift of love I gave and it meant a lot to him.”

“A gift of love… Does he love you?” Asuma asked, his voice toneless. Iruka couldn’t read any emotions on his face. 

Iruka looked sick, “No.”

Asuma nodded. “You thought he did…”

Iruka looked away, he voice soft. “No… I just kept hoping. I didn’t mind him being rough with me… as long as he cared… but he never did, it was all a game.”

Asuma sighed, “Iruka… tell me you can let this go…”

Iruka shook his head, “I’m not sure I can…”

“Then I think you need to talk to him…” Asuma got up and walked over to place his hand on Iruka’s shoulder. “Every problem has a solution… but sometimes we don’t like the answer.” 

Asuma walked back to the door, “I’ll be back later this evening when my teams done with training. I’m going to stay here tonight… It’ll give you a chance to seduce me.” Asuma winked, and gave a wry smile.

Iruka sighed, too tired to fight “Fine… but you’re cooking.”

Asuma laughed, “I’ll bring ramen from Ichiraku’s.” Iruka nodded.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KAKASHI:

He wasn’t sure if this was the best time to be sent on a mission, he’d told Lady Tsunade Iruka was ready but… when he got back from the mission late tonight he’d slip over and see if Iruka was ok.

Somehow Iruka found a way into the hardest hearts… he’d already changed Kakashi’s beliefs about a future with Raidou. Kakashi was learning to admit he loved Raidou, that maybe it wasn’t too late for him to love… to have someone special to care for him.

Iruka was very special… if anyone could teach Ibiki how to love it would be him… but was it too late? Kakashi didn’t think so, he’d watched them both self destruct without each other… they needed each other… it wasn’t what most would call a healthy relationship but it was better than the alternative… two nin who no longer ‘lived’, only existed.

The scroll, the objective of his mission, was easy to locate. Kakashi tucked the scroll into his vest… if all went well. 

Three nin appeared blocking his route and circling to surround him, they knew he was coming. Kakashi shrugged, so easy… he hoped Raidou was having luck on his mission. 

Kakashi drew a large spinning orb of chakra, the bright light made the surrounding nin squint. Abruptly Kakashi reabsorbed it and while the blinded nin blinked trying to regain their night vision Kakashi easily swept through them like a wraith slicing their throats… he was on his way before the last body hit the ground.

Now how was he going to get those two back together, Ibiki was almost as stubborn as Tsunade… and Iruka, well he was pretty hurt. The irony didn’t escape him, the fact he was the one who insisted Ibiki end it to begin with and now had to get them back together.

Kakashi leapt through the trees; aware another nin was tracking him. Kakashi grinned… this one was being a bit more careful. Kakashi leapt down into the brush and four Kakashi’s leapt to the trees v-ing out in an ever-widening fan. 

Now the pursuing nin would have to decide which of the four to follow. The pursuing nin turned after the one headed to the left and only had the time for a soft gasp as the kunai sank into his chest piercing his heart; he hit the forest floor with a soft thud. Kakashi shrugged leaping up out of the brush and back to the trees while his four clones disappeared.

The rest of his trip back to the leaf village was quiet and Kakashi spent it working out his plan… finally concluding with a grin, he knew just how to work them. Ibiki was too smart for mind tricks… blunt truth was the best course. Iruka… guilt, it would distract him from concentrating on his hurt feelings and make him think about Ibiki’s…

By the time Kakashi arrived back at ANBU HQ he was ready to start the plan into action. Ibiki’s replacement still hadn’t been found so Ibiki would continue until a replacement could be located and trained. Kakashi strolled into Ibiki’s office and set the scroll on his desk.

Ibiki looked up at him blankly, Kakashi knew Ibiki was aware of Iruka’s living arrangements after he’d left the hospital, but he hadn’t even spared Kakashi more than a passing glance outside of his professional role.

Kakashi took the chair and gave an oral report; it was standard for this level of mission, no paperwork to acknowledge what they’d done… Kakashi preferred this kind of mission, no reports to write.

Ibiki nodded as Kakashi finished, got up glancing at the top of the scroll before placing it in a vault for delivery to Lady Tsunade tomorrow. When Ibiki turned around he registered no emotion, but Kakashi could read his brief confusion in the momentary stiffening of his body. “Is there something else you needed to report?” Ibiki inquired curtly. 

“Iruka will return to you.” Kakashi stated flatly.

Ibiki didn’t bother to hide his stiffening, his jaw clenched. “That is not a option.”

Kakashi swept a indifferent gaze over Ibiki, “If he can’t get it from you he’ll seek it from somebody else… it’s sure to be a fellow ANBU.” Kakashi rose and strolled casually from the room, he felt Ibiki’s gaze on him as he left. Step one complete.

Kakashi wandered down the street to Iruka’s apartment, then leapt up into the tree across from his living room window. Kakashi had a brief unpleasant flash of the last time he’d been here poised on a branch outside Iruka’s living room. This time the window was open, Kakashi sat and brushed absently at the flicks of blood on his vest while he watched Iruka fill his teakettle in the kitchen.

Kakashi again marveled at how graceful and slight Iruka was… he just brought to mind the Sika deer, he was sure Iruka wouldn’t take kindly to being called Shika… Kakashi smirked perhaps he’d try.

Iruka walked into his living room and spotted Kakashi sitting in the tree, his back against the trunk and one leg dangling absently. His lips twitched in amusement as he walked over to the window. “What is with you and trees?”

Kakashi’s shrugged lazily. Iruka took a sip of his tea, “Would you like to come in?” Iruka backed up from the window as Kakashi leapt easily in. Kakashi cupped Iruka’s face drew down his mask and kissed him softly, damn he was going to miss that, then stepped away pulling his mask back over his face.

“Come to check up on me?” Iruka inquired with a slight smile.

“Perhaps…” Kakashi smirked. “Or perhaps I just missed you, Shika.”

Iruka’s eyes widened, “Shika? Why a deer?”

Kakashi grinned mischievously, “I’m not saying…”

Iruka watched him curiously. “I never know what to think of you Kakashi.”

For a moment Kakashi almost scraped his plan, he adored Iruka. He may not love him the same as Raidou but he could picture a life with Iruka in it… Kakashi sobered, they’d tried that already… Raidou and he couldn’t keep Iruka happy as long as he loved Ibiki.

“How did your mission go?” Iruka asked politely, he walked back toward the kitchen to refill his cup. Iruka glanced over his shoulder, “Did you want tea?” 

Regretfully Kakashi put the other part of his plan into action. 

Kakashi gave a negative shake of his head, “The mission was a success… Raidou’s not back yet, maybe later tonight… soon we’ll have less missions, Ibiki’s going to be taking some.”

Iruka froze and turned, his voice carefully neutral. “Why would he do that?”

Kakashi gave a little mocking smile, “Congrats… you did what three weeks of constant torture could not… you broke Impervious Ibiki.” Kakashi shrugged, “He’s resigned as head of ANBU… he’s decided to go back on mission status.” Step two complete.

Iruka blanched. Kakashi continued as if he hadn’t noticed, “It will be nice to have more free time.” Kakashi cussed himself, he hated doing this, he hated the pain he caused. Kakashi wanted to gather Iruka in his arms and kiss the pain from his face… but that would only drag this out longer.

“Well, I’m going back to my apartment, need to get cleaned up and prep my gear for the next mission…” Kakashi softened; he walked over and cupped Iruka’s face. “Good night Shika.” Kakashi said tenderly, then turned and left.

Kakashi perched out of Iruka’s sight watching him, Iruka looked confused and unhappy and again Kakashi cussed himself… but they’d tried, he and Raidou had tried to fill the empty place in Iruka’s heart… they couldn’t.

When Asuma arrived Kakashi left, if Asuma hadn’t come to stay the night Kakashi would’ve had a long night in that tree… but it wouldn’t be the first time, or the last, he’d spend hours perched in a tree covered in blood flecks… or worse.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IBIKI:

This was NOT happening! He was dealing with the loss of Iruka, dealing and finding ways to keep himself too busy to think about him… this was not happening… why did he have this horrendous feeling of deja vu’?

Why was it every time Kakashi was in his office it ended to turmoil? He was starting to think Kakashi was the harbinger of doom… the walking embodiment of all his bad karma!

The past two weeks had been hell, the day Iruka told him to leave it was like loosing his brother all over again… only worse, but through it all he’d consoled himself with the knowledge it was over Iruka would heal now, he was better off now… in a healthy relationship with Raidou and Kakashi. 

Kakashi… Ibiki had swore neither of them would ever be able to have a normal life, but somehow Kakashi had, and he had Iruka.

‘Iruka will return to you.’ It was like someone ripped his heart open just as he’d patched the holes. This couldn’t be happening… 

‘If he can’t get it from you he’ll seek it from somebody else… it’s sure to be a fellow ANBU.’ Ibiki sighed sitting down in his chair and frowning. 

Loosing Iruka to Kakashi and Raidou was hard enough, how would he ever be able to cope with the knowledge Iruka was… voluntarily submitting to one of his men. The very thought was enough to enrage him… distress him… hell, make him damn near crazy.

Kakashi wouldn’t be wrong… if he saw that in Iruka’s behavior pattern… it would happen. Kakashi was… gifted. He understood psychology on a level equal to Ibiki’s own; in many ways they were very a like… Kakashi would make a good Head of ANBU, if he weren’t so deliberately lazy.

So the question remained… what to do about it. How could he prevent this? Ibiki was a master a manipulating people… and yet now when he needed to more than ever, he was at a loss… short of ‘replacing’ Iruka with another lover. That wouldn’t stop Iruka from choosing another ANBU… damn it Kakashi, neither you or Raidou could play a little rough?! Nothing damaging just a little restraints… perhaps Anko?

Ibiki frowned and rose from his desk, perhaps he could convince Tsunade to appoint a temporary head and he could start missions immediately… it would serve Kakashi right if she made him do it. Ibiki could assign himself an ‘extended mission’ and perhaps after a few weeks it would resolve itself. 

‘If he can’t get it from you he’ll seek it from somebody else… it’s sure to be a fellow ANBU.’ Did it matter? Of course it mattered, but as long as he could stay away for long periods of time… 

Ibiki was determined; this whole thing would not start again… this time it would stay over. Ibiki walked out the door and walked back to his apartment, tomorrow he’d talk to Lady Tsunade.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRUKA/ASUMA:

Iruka was grateful Asuma had decided he’d stay tonight… after Kakashi’s words he was feeling like his world was askew and he needed the distraction.

“Hey Iruka… you ok?” Asuma was looking at him his eyes worried. Iruka hadn’t even realized Asuma was talking to him until Asuma placed his hand on his shoulder.

“Yes… just a little distracted. How did training go today?”

Asuma gave him an odd look “Well, aside from Tenten spraining her ankle…”

Iruka walked into the kitchen and poured another cup of tea, luckily it was herbal or he’d be up all night. “What happened?”

Asuma was quiet for a minute then somberly stated, “I don’t think that matters right now… what did Kakashi say?”

Iruka walked back into the room, “How did you know he’d been here?”

Asuma gave a half smile, “I have pretty good hearing… I heard his voice as I walked up the stairs, but when I got to your door he was gone.”

Iruka shrugged, “He didn’t say anything that should matter.”

“But it does.” Asuma concluded bluntly.

Iruka nodded. Asuma waited and when Iruka didn’t continue he changed the subject, “Tenten won’t be training tomorrow, Tsunade wants her to stay off her ankle… I think she’s just helping them to play hooky but…” Asuma shrugged. “I guess a day off won’t hurt.”

It was starting to get extremely late and Iruka yawned, he knew he should go in a get some sleep but he wasn’t sure he’d get much sleep in there with all his memories. Iruka folded his legs up on the armchair and slid sideways to lay his head on the back of the chair wearily.

“You really should go in and get some sleep.” Asuma said frowning slightly.

Iruka yawned, “Not yet.” 

Asuma watched him a moment. “I’m going to the kitchen for some water, you want another tea?”

Iruka nodded, he closed his eyes a moment and the last thing he heard was Asuma getting up to go to the kitchen.

Asuma wasn’t sure what Kakashi had said to Iruka but it obviously had bothered Iruka, he had told Iruka about Tenten’s fall off the tree twice and Iruka hadn’t heard him either time… the last time Iruka was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize Asuma was talking until after he’d placed his hand on Iruka’s arm. Iruka had fallen asleep in the armchair as he left the room.

Asuma poured a cup of coffee, he could drink this stuff morning noon and night, didn’t affect him and he slept fine. When Asuma returned to the living room he sat watching Iruka for a few minutes as he finished his coffee. 

Then Asuma got up and lay out the blanket Iruka had given him, in spite of his protests, on the floor. Asuma picked up Iruka and laid him on the couch, got a spare blanket from the bedroom and covered him. Iruka was still so light… but at least his bones were less evident. Asuma stretched out on the floor and went to sleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
TSUNADE:

When the day begins with a visit from the head of Torture and Investigation… well, let’s just say it didn’t bode well for the remainder of her day.

Lady Tsunade composed her face into a look of polite interest… not that she actually expected Ibiki to believe it. “Show him in.” She stated flatly, Shizune nodded and opened the door for Ibiki then went out the door and closed it quietly.

“What can I do for you?” Tsunade asked her voice barely civil.

“I need a immediate replacement to head ANBU.” Ibiki announced tonelessly.

“Oh you do?” Tsunade asked coldly. “Why should I care?”

“Iruka wants me back.” Ibiki stated bluntly.

Tsunade frowned, her icy demeanor disappeared. “And you want to be… unavailable.”

Ibiki nodded curtly, his face was forbidding.

Tsunade got up pacing over to her window, “and whom would you suggest?”

“Hatake Kakashi.”

“Oh, that’s cruel.” Tsunade said, her lips curved in a smirk as she looked out the window over the village. “Very well then. I’ll inform Kakashi…” Tsunade turned away from the window her face hard. “I want you out of the village as quickly as possible.”

Ibiki gave a sharp nod and turned to walk out the door. “Ibiki.” Tsunade sighed tiredly. “Do you love him?”

Ibiki didn’t turn around. “I don’t think that matters anymore.” Ibiki walked out closing the door.

Tsunade shook her head sadly, “It matters.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IBIKI:

Ibiki felt a bit of relief, he didn’t like Tsunade much more than she liked him at this point. He didn’t blame her for being upset about the mess he’d created by using Iruka, but he didn’t take to censuring well. Lady Tsunade’s hostility served his purpose; she’d take care of ‘encouraging’ Kakashi to take over ANBU while he found a mission to get him as far away as possible.

Ibiki walked quickly into his office and stopped short, all his plans rendered useless. Ibiki took a deep breath, “Hello Iruka.”

Iruka looked at Ibiki with such an odd mixture of emotions, his jaw was set angrily, but his eyes were sad and full of longing. “Are you giving up your position here because of me?” he asked bluntly.

Ibiki called on his control, this wasn’t no different than any other time he’d had someone in his office. Ibiki walked around his desk and sat calmly, his face void of expression, studying Iruka indifferently. “I don’t see where it’s any concern of yours.” He replied tonelessly.

Iruka’s eyes blazed, “It is my concern.”

Ibiki simply stared at him deadpan, a cold heartless look that was known to reduce men to crying, ready to confess to anything and yet Iruka was unfazed. “Well?” Iruka snapped angrily.

“No.” Ibiki proclaimed in a reserved tone. 

“No.” Iruka’s voice was thick with sarcasm. “You just happened to decide this would be a good time to demote yourself and leave the village scrambling to replace you…”

Ibiki didn’t reply, just watched Iruka impassively, his gaze stony. Damn his little dolphin was sexy when he was pissed, Ibiki damn near smiled at the thought, no not his… it was over and it would stay over. 

“Are you finished?” Ibiki inquired his voice coldly detached.

Iruka flushed getting even angrier, “NO! I AM NOT FINISHED.” Iruka hissed. “You will answer me!”

Ibiki quirked an eyebrow, his face remained calm but his voice was caustic. “I answered.” 

For a minute Ibiki honestly thought Iruka was going to hit him, as Iruka approached him Ibiki watched him warily, but he simply placed a hand on each side of Ibiki’s chair and kissed him forcefully.

Ibiki grasped Iruka’s arms setting him back, his calm façade cracking. Ibiki’s eyes flashed savagely, he could’ve handled anything but that. Ibiki rose from the chair stalking quickly across the room, his stride agitated. 

“What is it about me?” Ibiki shifted his furious gaze over to Iruka. “Why me? Why?”

Iruka stood where Ibiki had set him staring at him defiantly. “From the first chance I got to work beside you… I wanted you. I worked beside Anko, but I was always aware where you were, what you were doing…” Iruka glared at him, his voice hostile but Ibiki could hear the pain in his tone.

“You were the only one… the only one I had ever submit to, the only one I would ever submit to… I knew it that first night in my apartment, I knew it from the moment I propositioned you.” Iruka turned away his voice bitter. “What I didn’t know was that I would come to love you!”

“Iruka stop.” Ibiki’s voice was a low warning growl. “Go back to Kakashi and Raidou…”

Iruka turned enraged, “NO! I am tired of everyone deciding what is best for me! I’M NOT A CHILD!”

Ibiki frowned and walked toward the door. “I’m not doing this anymore.”

Iruka threw himself in front of the door, “You WILL listen to me!”

Ibiki looked down at him. Iruka was well over 50 lbs lighter and quiet a bit shorter, and here he was demanding Ibiki listen, commanding him… and totally unafraid. 

Ibiki couldn’t stop the slight smirk that came to his lips; his little dolphin was so fierce. This time Iruka did hit him, Ibiki stepped back surprised. His finger brushed his lip and looked at the blood, then grinned.

“WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?!” Iruka bellowed, his face livid in rage.

Ibiki shook his head. his grin not fading, “I’m not.” Ibiki’s voice was calm, and amused. “Iruka… you amaze me.”

Iruka looked at him in utter confusion and frustration. Ibiki cupped his face and kissed him passionately, for a moment Iruka froze then he started hungrily kissing Ibiki in return.

When Ibiki pulled back from the kiss, his arms wrapped around Iruka’s slight frame holding him gently against him. Iruka snuggled gladly into him for a few minutes then looked up and reached up to touch Ibiki’s lip, his voice was soft and embarrassed. “I’m sorry I hit you.”

Ibiki gave him a little squeeze, “I’m not.” He wasn’t sure how, or even if, they could make this work… but they had to try. 

\--------------------------  
NEXT STORY: 'THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FIENDISH AND FETISH'


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